well... i was with michelle and melissa today. and we talked about love and stuff. Michelle wants to make out with this guy like how i want to make out with Paul, you know what i mean.
But anyway, Michelle took this book there and she was reading from the book that had to do with well... how you'd love whoever that loves you back simply because you just want to be appreciate, or that you think you're in love simply because for once, someone returns your affection or that for once someone actually likes you and you're the center of someone's world.
I don't know how i feel about it, reading those lines... sometimes i feel that i still want a 'boyfriend' because of that. That i want to be loved because it sure as hell feel great to mean soooooooo much to someone. That was TOTALLY how i felt back when i was in highschool and then later in college.
However.... as laughable as it may seem... i do feel that the day i turned 21, something did change and click within me...
I mean... i still want to be loved.... no, i still want a boyfriend and all that... but i don't think it is 75% because i want to be loved anymore.... yes that was back then back when i was 16-20... that was why i wanted a guy and all that.... But these days, you know.... i don't really feel that way anymore...
I don't know what i want. I also don't know how i really feel... but what i know i DON'T feel is that.... i wanna make out with Paul not because i am lonely, nor not because i want to be love nor because i hope he would like me back......... I really simply do want to make out with him cause it's nice to make out ne, hehe, and well, he's too damn cute. |
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