i believe in fate and the will of God, buthow long are we going to leave our lives to something external? I believe in faate and the will of God not because i blindly believe in it. i believe in it for the reason that sometimes things do fall or don't fall the way it does.
today is the first time in 1 2/3 yers that i will missing finch show dilberately. not really. fuck George cancelled on me last minute (must be payback for all the times i brushed him off but fuck i never intended it in a bad way) Then i went back home and Aya's class got cancelled and she could take me to the show but guess what? Of all the days, today my phone wasn't charged, cause i used the plug for something else yesterday, so it died, but when i came back and charged it but stupid sprint phones turn off when you charge it and you have to turn it back on but i forgot i had to do that. and so, fuck thus now it's 8pm and aya is back in santa monica already i discover that she had left 10,000 msgs on my phone telling me she could take me to the show and that she had even come to my house to knock on the door which i actually heard earlier at 6 but i thought i was just another stranger at the door. fuck fuck fuck.
i'm just sad. i really am.
but i'm more sad when i heard michelle's phone msg on my phone cause fuck, she was suppose to go with me. so i am really sad abt that. she's going to be at the fucking show and i wasted another $60 on a show i can't go for.
And I can tell you�re going through the motions, I figured you were acting out your part, Once again, we�re playing off emotionWhich one of us will burn until the end? Catalyst, you insist to pull me down, You contradict the fact that you still want me around, And it�s all downhill from here...
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
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