bitch back
it's good to have the phone number of a band member in your phone in case of emergency LIKE TODAY what the hell.
SOOOOOOOOOO i hauled ass down to fullerton today- Michelle was suppose to pick me up at 4pm to get down to San Diego for Days Away's set at about 7:30.... She got to me at 5:15... On a July 4th weekend, that's just fucking stupid.
Anyways, had problems from the very begining. Michelle was being bitchy quiet for some reason, and when michelle's quiet, it's time to worry.
First, we wasn't really sure of the venue and michelle wasn't too sure to get to the venue we think it's at, so we kept calling people. Then Michelle told me to call Tim to check the venue and to see waht time they're playing cause we might not get there on time and so if they're gonna play early, we might as well not go.
SO in the end i got through to Tim.
The show was CANCELLED.
thank goodness we were still in Fullerton area.
Anyways... I got kinda quiet cause it was really potong stim, cause FOR ONCE, i was actually excited about wanting to see Days Away on stage whether or not we get to talk to the band cause i really wanted to go support them and have someone be singing in their pit!
THEN, Michelle started getting chatty- and she asked me if I wanted to go see MAE at Warped Tour-- we had to sneak in. I was really reluctant cause I like MAE but i really didn't want to stand in an open door arena, wait for the show to start, etc... THen she said New Found was playing, so i thought, okay maybe it's okay to go--
So i sat silent and she saw i was tired and she BROUGHT ME TO THE STATION intead! By then i was already up for WARPED TOUR.
So i told her, I don't want to go back (plus, she was still fucking angry at something)
THen in the end she fucking blew up and said "Now i dont' want to go for Warped tour" and I was like WHY THE FUCK NOT?! and then she fucking said "i'm tired, i'm hungry. I want to sleep."
And then i told her, just go and get food or something, but i am not leaving.
ANd then she fucking threw a fucking tantrum like a fucking 4-year-old kid. She was fucking fuming at SOMETHING- but fuck knows waht it was- she would not fucking say it, she DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW herself what the fuck she was mad at. That's just fucking childish. I just wanted to say to her "grow the fuck up. you are fucking 19 not fucking 9. So don't act like a fucking child"
Fuck shit.
And then when we went to get food, she didn't order anything. Like me, saving money. I offered to buy food, she fucking refused. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.
Anyway, the dissapointing part came at the end because i took a train back to LA instead cause this was exactly like it was that day coming back from Utah. So i called Satoshi to pick me up from the Universal City Station..
And so, i went to get the train and Michelle came back to accompany me for abit... Then she had to leave... then before she left she said to me "promise me that you will never take the train again," and I was like "why? you made me take the train here today,"
and u know waht she fucking said?
"that's because you were fucking stubborn"
i tell u, if i had a gun, i would have fucking shot her right there and then.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
FUCKING STUBBORN??
This was the FIRST FUCKING TIME i had forced someone to go for a show with me. I had NEVER asked her for anything that she didn't want to get into. She fucking gave me an ultimatum yesterday when i begged her to bring me to San Diego and she said to me
1) give me $30 to get my phone back on- AND I FUCKING DID
2) u have to take the train to Fullerton cause i am not going up to pick u- and I FUCKING AGREED.
I even offered to fucking pay for gas.
AND SHE COMES BACK AND SAYS THAT?!
if she didnt' want to fucking go then she should have REALLLY put her foot down and said no!!
AND ALSO, she's as fucking in love with Days Away as much as I am!
WHAT THE FUCK'S WITH THAT???
I fucking went to fucking UTAH with her, paid fucking gas money more than $50, and I didn't LOVE fucking SOmething Corporate to the same proportion as she does Days Away.. and it was FUCKING UTAH! all i asked for was SAN DIEGO! and san diego was 98 miles from her.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT!
I tell u, seriously, i really hated myself there and then for being so fucking dependent on friends over here because I have so little of them that i cannot lose any... otherwise, i really want to say "FUCK YOU AND GO AND FUCK OFF." to all these fucking friends that treat me like trash sometimes. FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU TOO.
But i can't.
ANYWAYS...
on that note, satoshi was a sweetie again... he came all the way just to pick me up and that was nice of him hehe... all he asked for was boba and shrimp cake in return, so that was cute... And not like he asked for that directly, cause I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere else... he aactually just wanted to go back cause he was tired... but he asked if i wanted boba, so i said okay... and he asked for boba... haha.. So I bought him boba then he felt hungry and asked if he could have shrimp cake.... cause i oso missed him (cause didn't get to see him much last week and this week), so i bought him shrimp cake.
Although, i dont think i should have hugged him, cause er... then he again also like was leaning against me and all that after that-- U know how he used to do that and i didn't like it but i didn't care to push him away (not totally) so everytime last time when he did lean on me i DID push him away!! wuahahahha and he got the hint-- but since i hugged him just now.. eh. haih.
ANYWAYS.. AGAIN he talked about the girlfriend thing, AGAIN i fucking avoided the subject. hehehehe =D
So yeah... he was a sweetie today =)
Actually, u know, my parents told me i could go back to Malaysia if i didn't want to do summer 2, since my bro and my cousin will be back also.... But i remembered that Satoshi was gonna leave by the end of summer... so i might not have him around anymore.... And then also, that means i wouldn't have finished my Japanese lessons with him either-- Sigh.... soooooooooooooooo.... i guess i won't go home huh? unless i actually do that Wayang Kulit thing, which i am very much interested in doing... haih... but i will miss satoshi lah.
SO THAT'S IT!!
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I NEVER GO TO TO SEE DAYS AWAY TODAY!! shiteee!! i really wanted to see them live!! and if i could, TALK TO KEITH TOO-- cause he was so cute... he IS so cute! how he danced... how i asked him to speak french and he looked at me and said dead pan "NO" hahaha cute Keith, you're so fucking adorable i wish i could hug you forever, PLEASE! =( *hugs imaginary keith*
Oh my goshhhhh those eyes... i wish all of you could be over here and you could see Keith's eyes.... Damn I need $1,000... maybe i can bring him BACK instead! wuahahahah... but fuck, he won't come. fuck fuck fuck... sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
No i am serious though... shite, his eyes when he looks at u.... GOSHHHHHHHH
haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
the (stupid) things i do for love- sigh~
Friday, July 02, 2004
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