Monday, May 23, 2005
feelings divided dissected analyzed.

i thnk all these Asian Kung Fu Generation is getting me too emo.

Anyway... well... i was thinking about Days Away just now, and then thinkingabout the people i was going to miss in america when i leave, was thinking about Luis and Michelle and wondered how much i was gonna cry at LAX when i leave for good.
And then thought about Ryota and how he's gonna still be here and that means i'd have to leave... him...

But then i thought about akio... and i was looking at his nick online... just Akio/ u know... and i was thinking about all the fun times i had with him, when we could really talk and when he had stayed to spend time with me to help me or just to accompany me *God bless his kind heart*....

I'm really going to miss him you know... i really like spending time with Akio when we can really talk you know... it's just really fun being with him and being able to talk with him and especially, to joke with him... it's really nice...

and i am gonna miss that so much... soooo much. i miss him already.

i guess i am just being and feeling emo at the mo.... but when i do feel it, it's really like a hole being bored through my heart like a knife leaving me feeling really really hollow inside like something inside of my chest has been punched out...

i really miss you Akio, i really do.... I know i've only known you for abit, but i've really enjoyed the times i had spend with you. I feel this way because i've never really met anyone as kind, as selfless, as caring, as patient as you before.... you're really really polite, you know... like the embodiment of all that is the politeness of Japanese culture, rare, but you still have it in you, to a very great degree....
maybe it's cause i don't know you well.... maybe... but i don't think that's entirely the explanation... i do believe that your heart is good... your heart is very pure... and that's what i love about you.... if we can say that i love you at all, it would be that.

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