ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

Maybe this is as good as it gets.

I was talking to Rie the other day and as always bitching to her about Akio and how he's too busy to meet me, and she said she agreed that it's sad but she also told me to look at it in the sense that I already got to spend alot of time with him during the whole Grand Canyon trip. Karen said the same thing to me.

And you know the other day i was bitching to Ching Mun about Akio and how i didn't trust Akio about the whole party thing was because he's been abit cold towards me. And she told me to not let the bad things overshadow the good times we had but instead let the good times we had overshadow the bad things... and u know i guess, she's right...

maybe this is as good as it gets.

Maybe, that was as good as it got.

I just miss the space that we share. i miss the space that we had, or at least, the space that i know for sure we had the capable of having if only, maybe if only... i had more time.

I remember that we, akio and i, were also going through one of those dry spells the other time. Because he was having some personal problems and he became quite quiet and withdrawn (than the usual smiling akio), so we weren't talking much at that time. And i remember telling myself that maybe that evening when we sat outside the library talking, and he didn't go for gym that day so he decided to stay with me for abit longer. And we were just sitting outside there for an hour talking. I don't like the evening sun but it was a pleasant light that day and the breeze was blowing and I remember him sitting beside me and we were talking about relationships and the people we wanted and wished for and all that.... And during the time when we were going through that dry spell i remember telling myself "you know, maybe that was as good as it got..." and really, i should be happy with that. I should be you know...

But God was good... And i had one more moment with him. The space with him that i liked, I got that experience that again when he joined us that night for Star Wars. I was still kinda not talking to him even till the very moment we went to pick him up from his house (err, cause of something ler)... But while we stood there waiting in line and while we were in the theater waiting for the show to start, it was like before again, you know. We were like how I liked us being: joking around, flirting around (heh), and just having fun you know, just talking and being friends. Like how we sat there and he was getting sleepy and i told him to go sleep first for 45 mins before the show started. Then he said to me "no, you entertain me." and i was like "how?" and he said, "tell me i look cool," and i was like "ouh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn." ^^ u know, that's how we are and i really like that.... and i really miss that... and i'm really gonna miss the opportunity to be able to exist on a moment like that with him again...

and i guess that's as good as it gets.

as good as it gets that night sitting outside the hotel room at Grand Canyons and we talked for a few hours and how he would pout cause i wouldn't listen to his advice, or how he stood there above me and i asked him "so how akio???" and he replied, "What do you want me to do elaine?"
as good as it gets that night in the hotel room and we were playing around on the bed and he was angry with me for something and he was trying to push me off the bed...
As good as it gets the first time we hung out together before i left for Japan and we had sat there in the library and he was booking the hotels for me. how he was worried and asking me to get stuff organized and how he looked at me and at the computer screen worriedly that he was sending me packing off to hell.
As good as it gets that night we went for chinese food and talked and as we walked back to the campus at night. As good as it gets him walking me back home that night when no one (without a car anyway) has ever done that for me. such a gentleman.

As good as it gets the time we got to go shopping. as good as it gets the times we went out for movies. as good as it gets how I don't like him smoking and i'm always complaing about that. As good as it gets those times i would not let him walk faster than me. As good as it gets those times he always accompanied me when i needed him or when i called him and if he could, he would always come see me, even if it's just for 15 minutes. as good as it gets all those evenings i'd call him after RS class and I'd meet him for abit before he left for gym. as good as it gets all those times I pouted and wouldn't let him leave...

as good as that was, it is over now.

maybe i should just hold on to that, and cherish that...

because maybe, that's the best that I can get.