Today (or yesterday i guess):
1) the message plant i bought from japan that i gave to Akio actually grew!!! so yay! he got my "arigatou" message, though it took him two weeks of watering the plant to get it to grow... but at least in the end it did right??? How cool... i hope the plant won't wither by Monday and he remembers to bring it to school so i can actually SEE how the message grew on the plant (i mean how the hell do you get a plant to grow messages?!) and maybe take a pic of it... japanese products, damn amazing ne! I'd ask him to take a pic of it himself for me, but Akio's sick, so i don't really want to trouble him...
2) saw ryota at the library.
needless to say, ruined my day from then on.
Aida asked me today "what makes you happy?"
and u know... the only thing that comes to mind is if i could tour with a band i love forever and ever.... (ok maybe not forever but a subtantial period of my life) i would be incredibly happy and probably be in a perpetual high for that period of time...
why i say so and why i think only of that is cause really, you know, shows and mosh pits have been like instant cures to my depression all the time... whether it was last week, three years ago, five years ago, eight years ago, whether it was in England, California, Denver, Florida, Baltimore, Japan, whether it was beloved Taking Back Sunday, Finch, Days Away, Brand New, Saves The Day, New Found Glory, Alanis Morissette, Asian Kung Fu Generation, it has always made me happy you know, it has always calmed me and made me feel as if life is good....
and i wish i could grasps that feeling all the time...
i told michelle once, that if only they cound encapsulate the feeling of going for a show into a pill, i'd take it EVERYDAY and probably be addicted to it soon enough...
cause it really does make me happy you know... and it really does make me feel as though, life is really good... seriously, standing on those curbside after all those shows with friends waiting for a chance to meet the band and the cold wind against your cheeks.... it really felt like life was just amazing.... perfect, and something to be happy about all the time...
then you get on the bus, go home, go to school and life goes on and the peace and calmness and glimps of that happiness evaporates into the evil reality we see and face and feel and go through... is PUT THROUGH... each day...
Hey, give me space so I can breathe
Give me space so I can sleep
Give me space so you can drown in this with me
Hey, give me space but I can't breathe
Give me space but I can't sleep
Give me just one inch I swear that's all I'll need
Aida.... give Ryota space? like you needed space from Don? you know what? screw that. you loved don, this is different. he (and i don't mean don) is just fucked up, that's all.
Friday, April 22, 2005
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