ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

miopia. i am suffering from that. inabilty to see big and wide. no that is not webter's definition.

i don't know. it's odd. i wanted to work in the music industry. but like i wanted to do it for a few years, then who knows, go back to malaysia to be a teacher.

seems now that, i'm gonna go home to be a teacher sooner than i thought (how shtity)... Then there's Japan... i really wanna go back there to work for a bit, year or two, don't think i can live there forever, i dunno, it's beautiful and all that but beauty dies after awhile, doesn't it? After the innitial awe and wonder, everything becomes a routine in th eend, right?

Actually i really don't mind settling down in America. Perhaps not right now, but later in life. Jeremy told me "come to Canada" maybe i will... except for the cold. hm.

I don't know... i really don't know what i want to do ultimately. Dad asked me what's your objective (in wanting to work in Japan)... I don't know, just the experiene i guess, that would be nice now wouldn't it?

But beyond that, i really don't know.... But even that, i really hope i WOULD get to go to Japan one day to work, for a year or two.... that would be really nice, ne, wouldn't it?

*****************

DAD : yes, i know u have a passion
DAD : i am trying to help U to refine it
DAD : U need a PROCESS to bring passion into reality
DAD : the 1st step is a degree
DAD : the next step is to define a career
elainelmy: screw career
elainelmy: i think u and mom shud know that neither me nor koh hoh
elainelmy: are gonna have anything that resembles that anytime soon
elainelmy: if we were, we wouldn't be going back to Malaysia
elainelmy: considering that malaysia is a pretty shitty place to start one at that

Career?? what a laugh! why don't i sell my future off for some quick bucks at that if we're talking about career. The one thing i hate the most thinking about all these job application process was a "career"... The reason why i want to get a preschool job here or to get a job in MGS or in SriKDU (yeap!) or as a tuition teacher ain't cause i WANT A CAREER. what the hell! It's all something i feel like i need to do/steps to take towards a goal called Japan (or China or Korea after that) .

ouh i dunno. fuck a career u know. it gives finacial security but it sure as hell doesn't appeal to me. and it gives more than financial secuirty, it just gives an assurance that u know what you're gonna be in the future, you know where you're gonna be at when you're 30. At this point, i have no idea where i'm gonna be at 30. Part of me ain't comfortable with that fact at all.... but will i be happy with thinking about building a career and slaving through all that process to get a job and then being in that job and bitching abt that job?

ouh man, why can't i stay in cool forever. make studying my career.

sigh i want to tour with Asian Kung Fu Generation forever................. yes i do love them THAT much...... eh forever... till the world ends anyway!