i feel like I need everyday, something to remind me that there is more to life than this daily grind. And there has to be more to the meaning of life.
I was watching the Japanese series "Orange Days" yesterday. It was quite a poignant series because it was about five friends who are about to graduate from university and the series dealt alot with the questions of what to do with life. What really makes us happy?
Being in the Japanese system, of course the series dealt with one of the guys having to face the prospect of being a Japanese salaryman after graduation. And it started off with him saying that it didn't matter what job it was, as long as it was a job.
And another girl in the series later echoed the sentiment with saying that she finds herself just looking for a job to support her lifestyle... But if she was saying that if she just took any job that she could get, she felt that she would not be living... that, whenever she sees the sunset, she won't stop to look at the sunset and think "wow, what a beautiful sunset, another lovely day." Because just having any job won't make her feel alive.
You know... Watching that, thinking about that... Being here everyday... Makes me know more and more that I don't want to be a teacher.
No, it's not because the job sucks. But it's actually because, this is real and this job is really being a real teacher. And.......... it is NOT what I want. I really don't mind tutoring, but to be a teacher? Totally not. I don't think it's helping any. Your class is super big (and this is a private school, at 28, I already think it's too big), and I don't think you can help those who really need to be helped. So........ I think that just make things even more meaningless.......... To make it worse, I guess.... most of the SriKDU students really don't give a fuck about their studies. So, it really makes all these toil and effort so pointless..... and there's no meaning to it, all, you know...
So.
I wish life was a series.
Then at least we might be assured of a good end....
Unless it's a Japanese or Korean or Taiwanese series.
heh.
;)
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