ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

Anyone who's reading this, tell me, is this NOT obvious enough??

1. I email him on average once or twice a week.
2. I chat with him quite often (sometimes 3 or 4 days in a row)
3. I sent him a postcard from NYC
4. I sent him a Halloween card.
5. I sent him an ecard that u can view here.
6. I even sent him a DUCK COOKBOOK.
7. I saw his baby pic on MSN and i told him it was too small i can't see his face so i asked him to send it to me. Then after that i asked if he has anymore and he sent me another one.
8. Then i edited the pictures so that i will fit and look bigger on MSN and sent it back to him.
9. THEN when he didn't put the pics i edited for him up, i "scolded" him (hehe) and demanded he put it up and he did... hmm.
10. I sent him an email the other day with the subject title "mailbox misses u ;)" DUH, I miss you that's what! dang!
11. Hmm... wut else... I've asked "btw, just out of curiosity, do you have a girlfriend now?" (wut the heck!), I've asked if he'd avoid a girl if he knows d girl likes him (his answer was so called "no" but Ryota said the same shit too!), I've asked if he thought it was okay for d girl to go after d guy and confess to d guy instead (he answer was yes, it's okay, he doesn't mind).
12. ouh, and d whole KLIA ordeal back in January where i went to KLIA to send him off without telling neone and i waited 2 1/2 hours for him. (ALTHOUGH i DID tell dez that i didn't have feelings for him (d dude, not dez) back then tho... hm)

MASIH TAK CUKUP???

I guess, i'm happy everytime i just see him online on my MSN list coz, I'm happy he hasn't BANNED me, you know. And i'm relieved and feel at peace when he's just there online coz at least i know, he doesn't hate me yet, for all the shit i am doing to smother him.

For once, even I, ELAINE LOH, feels i've done abit too much. Especially with like sending him damn lot of stuff over the mail (he got them all within the week too although i sent them all at different times, due to the time delay of each different package type). Like I sent the post card first, on a monday... Like october 10th... and the Card on Oct 14th... Then the book i bought on Oct 21st, then i sent the ecard Oct 27th (hmm seems like i do things only on mondays or fridays). BUT, he got the cookbook FIRST, on Oct 27th, then the card somewhere that week or this week and then the post card "couplea days later". AND THEN he picked up my ecard TODAY, after i had sent him an email reply YESTERDAY.

all abit too much you know!!!!!

neways... what do you think???

NEWAYS, he is NOT ONLINE NOW, so i am pretty much VERY WORRIED at the mo!!!!!! shite!!!!

it's that, i am TREMENDOUSLY worried that he ALREADY knows that i like him but being him like he said he won't avoid the girl, so he doesn't and he's still cool and friends with me and all... But you know elaine, she has no sort of self control and neither does she have judgment when she likes someone, so TERLAMPAU all the time, and i am scared each time, that since he ALREADY KNOWS i like him and finally i did something "unknowingly" and FINALLY crossed the line and dat was the last draw and that's it! he hates me now... and THAT is EXACTLY what i worry MOST OF ALL about him ALL OF THE TIME.