ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

gots into a small arguement with Karen again (Karen if ur reading dis, i didn't intend to offend u or nething)...

But i really wanna clarify one thing (YEAH CHING MUN LISTEN! hehehehe).... Well... i like nigel cause i like nigel. It's not a matter if he likes me back or not. That is not something i can control. And cause i like nigel cause i like Nigel, there is already feelings involved in the equation on my part, and whether or not d feelings are requitted is not relevant.

So when i do bitch abt "ouh gosh, why he didn't reply my email???" or when "oh goshhhhhhhhhhhhhh HE IS NOT ONLINE!!!!" and i get worried and bitchy or paranoid, or crazy or obsessed... I'm NOT doing it coz I EXPECT Nigel to be a certain way. I'm bitching cause my hopes we dashed hahaha, well i am bitching cause you know, you like someone, and when they give you the cold shoulder, you NATURALLY get hurt. It doesn't matter if that guy is your boyfriend or not, just when you DO like the guy, if he's not responding as you wish he would, you just get dissapointed, hurt, or worried... and that's how i am with Nigel.

While i do wish he would reply my emails all the time (he usually does tho), i know there are times that he doesn't. And i WILL and i mean WILL bitch and moan abt how he didn't... But it's not cause i am thinking "HE SHOULD, HE MUST REPLY MY EMAILS!!! why the hell is he not?!"... that's NOT what i feel and that's not what i think. The only part taht i DO think about is "WHY????" but only cause i AM a very overly sensitive girl.

I'm not trying to make him do anything. And i am NOT being sensitive and hurt about it cause he was suppose to do somethin and he didn't. He's not suppose to be doing anything! But the fact of the matter is that I like him, you know, and YOUR FEELINGS are already involved in it, and it WILL get affected by what the other person, regardless.

So when i do say shit like "come back k?" to Nigel when he leaves to get dinner, I say it because that is what my heart WISH he'd do but I'm NOT giving him a command to do or die. I certainly have NO RIGHTS to do so.

Plus, i know if i gave an order to nigel to do something, he's just gonna ask why. And well, unfortunately, i dun have the power to ground him like his mom does when i am unable to produce an answer ;)

so yeh... dat's it.