ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

Photo of The Day:

Adore.


Ash: December 11th 2004, Frog Nightclub, London, England
photo credit: Andrew Kendall


I call this one Adore. I think this picture captures so entirely essense of adoration. Of fans towards the bands. Of fans towards superstars, whether on stage or on screen.

I love how the fans can't be seen, only their hands stretch out as if to reach something that they can never grasps. (it's odd, but when you're at a show, you have a tendency to reach out to the band on stage, as if they would hold out their hands to you in return... Which they don't really, cause sometimes there's a 5 feet gap between the pit and the stage!)

I absolutely love the symbolism of the chasm between the hands and the bands that is incredibly poignant in this picture. Like the fans are forever holding their hands out to grasps nothingness...
I like how the hands occupy only a small corner of the picture as if making the obsessiveness their adoration so small and trite in the face of such chasm and void.

As much as they try, as we try to reach towards these etheral beings, a chasm remains, and a seperation between the fans and those in the spotlight on stage. That's the seperation. And that, is Adoration.

I also like this other picture in the same photo shoot:



I like this one because i feel that the worship of these being that strolls on stages and red carpets is way more pronouced here. The hands that reaches out wanting so badly to grasps that which their heart desires.

Whatever it is, speaking from the experience as a fan, and believe me, i am a fan in all the sense of the word, not just a fan of Ash or whatever, but you know how i get obsessed with bands, with superstars.... So, speaking from that depth of obsessions, i think these two pictures combined, absolutely captures the essense of the definition of ADORATION... of fans.

Neways, i found alot of cool pics of Ash... YES usually just Tim and Charlotte, on stage, and also individual pics of Tim and Charlotte that were really cool. Maybe I'll post them on later. And also, more on Ash later. :)

Been thinking about:

the houses in Malibu

inspired by The Used

What seperates...

the rich and the poor?

the bands from the fans?

the people sitting on bleechers and the people walkin on red carpets?

the chauffer and the chauffeured in the stretch limousine?

the houses along Malibu beach and the houses in San Fernando (which btw,
still, is not cheap)?

is it:

talent?

opportunity?

hard work?

plain luck or fate?

watching the house go by as we drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, the ocean breeze and the million(s) dollar houses that lined the coast and mountains side by side, I'm begining to think that it's not really up to talent, opportunity or hard work and even vision-- but all the more to do with plain luck and fate.

i think about my brother and what dreams he had may come- and i think about the house in Malibu that foggy night and the stars that flood my TV/Computer screen- i'm thinking that if we were really meant to be something, someone, we would have been by now.

I'm sitting listening to The Used All That I've Got, live in Soma. It's a really inspiring track because i know friends who are The Used crazy and was probably in that mosh pit at Soma during this recording-

and i can't help but imagine Bert up there on stage singing to this crowd and i can't help but think of those who have made it "big"-- The Used, Nate... and i wonder about them-

and i think it's fate, all part of our meng sui (??)

and sometimes when you're fated for it, it's hard to ever stray from a path that was meant for you.

and then there are those who were never meant for it, who try their hardest and still can never make it there because it was never meant to be theirs...

i asked my friend yesterday as we drove past Malibu, what does it take to own one of these homes along the beach? (or perch up on the clifss, whichever you prefer: the rising oceantides to erode your house or bush fires to consume it on the hills)

It takes money, yes...

But shite, it takes way more than that!

In a way those born rich will always be richer- for there isn't a need to even struggle- think Paris Hilton :P or even wha- Jessica Simpson- whatever.

Thinking about them, thinking about people residing in these homes and the outrageously gigantic ones in Bel Air or Sunset or Beverly Hills, i've come to belive that it takes more than just money, man. It takes fate or destiny- something that we have entire no control over.

And in the end, as much as i do love the overcast skies across Malibu and it's perpetual beautiful gloom- a part of me- actually, almost everything in me knows that it is not my destiny--

I can only pray that those whom i know who have been blest with the capacity to pursue such dreams have that magic ingredient to make it, called destiny- a fate to become that i believe we can only become if we were meant for it to be.

So this is my depression for the day- Hollywood kills you. Living in the proximity of Hollywood also kills you- Beware: the shadows of them 9 letters perched up on that hill reachers far beyond the boundaries of Hollywood/Highland.

Neways.... here are the pictures that haunt me... driving down the PCH at night from Santa Monica to Malibu and back... the fog, the cold, the overcast sky. There's a serenity to Malibu that i like... it's not the "Hollywood" image of it... i don't see no palm trees there (nor much of the sun for that matter!)... But it's the empty beaches at night, the soft waves, and the unassuming beachfront houses that look more like empty shacks that lines the PCH, the overcast grey skies in the evening time shrouding everything in a perpetual gloom... there's a sort of serenity to those time that made me like Malibu...

and of course, it never hurts to drive 6 miles down to Santa Monica Pier at night either and the ferris wheel and old worn out carnival games and rides and neon lights there....

it's all very, very beautiful... in it's own placid way that i like...

Malibu beach at night- PCH lights- Santa Monica beach

carnival at the pier

been thinking about:



tim and charlotte.

don't they look cute together???

unfortunately.

well, i still hold out hopes they'll hook up one day.... UNLESS Tim gets married, since the last time i heard, he was engaged... and last time i heard, Charlotte was pregnant too! budden again...

neways, here's to Tim and Charlotte...

and please, you two look really cute together... so... please? pretty pleaseee?

overdoing it.

hate the heat in California (i guess it's probably WAYYYYYYYY worse in Arizona or Nevada or something). it's shite man. I mean... I don't remember Malaysia to be soooooooooooooooooo frigging hot where a 10 minute walk to the school library makes you want to pass out.

Anyways, gotta go and study and buy my USD94 USED textbook. fucking crazy. $400 ringgit for a TEXTBOOK. USED ONE at that! geez.

I don't know how many of you read this in 2003, but erm, this is a "story", conversation based on an actual event... And unlike alot of things i regret i didn't do in life, didn't document... I'm glad i wrote out this conversation and remembered most of the details... cause reading through it again, seems like it really never happened at all...

Anyways, this is the story of the first time I saw Days Away live, and the subsequent conversation i had with Keith. Reading it again after so long, damn man, that Keith is a real funny guy... I once called Keith anti-social, cause he didn't talk to anyone before or after shows, and I told Tim about it and Tim was like "THIS GUY??? ANTI-SOCIAL??? No man! It's like you can't shut him up,"

And really... Looking back in retrospect... Really, Keith really is a guy who can't shut up and is just REALLY REALLY friendly when you first meet him...

Anyway... if you have the time... here goes:


Days Away.

I still remember the sensation of driving those familiar roads, in the daylight, in night time, in the rain, in the sunlight, in solitude and with friends. And I remember the sounds of their songs and their melodies that were forged and fused together with those nostalgic memories that now haunt me.

It was a place with a certain magic perhaps. A place where the busses that pass by has �Santa Monica� and �Downtown LA� on it. And a five minute drive brings you past Rodeo Dr. and the immaculate lawns of Beverly Hills and they were immaculate indeed. And when you look to your right from its doorway you�d see the intersection of Doheny Dr. and Santa Monica Blvd. and the sign �Beverly Hills City Limit� within site.

And here it was, within these same walls, folk legend Linda Ronstadt had met and recruited guitarist Glenn Frey and drummer Don Henley who would later form the band we would come to know as The Eagles.

And within those same walls she stood, waiting for the band Days Away to take the stage. Waiting for the moment that she had waited for the past year. Waiting for the moment to listen to this band play their songs Waking Up and Knows My Name. Songs that had accompanied her through many many nights as she drove in her car: in twilight, in morning light, in sunlight or in the rain, in solitude or in company of friends. Back when she was home 8000 miles away. All those nostalgic times she had spent with her friends back home, as she drove them back home listening on the car radio the very songs she now waited to hear and see from the very mouths of the people that conceived and created such wonderful sounds.

And took the stage they did, and there she stood, within an arms length of the band Days Away, that played and plays still, on her radio, now real.

The very first sounds that poured of them she recognized and couldn�t believe her ears, it was Waking Up. Finally. Whispering in your ears, I�m gonna be with you forever. The moment has arrived. And that was the magic. Whether it be Linda Ronstadt forming the Eagles 30 years ago or whether it be a Malaysian girl being 8000 miles away from home watching the very band play the very songs that had fuelled so many of those memorable days back home. Four months ago she was still back home, so far away, as these same songs played. And now right here, she was seeing the band itself, playing the songs live right before her eyes.

So she sang to their every word. Every word that meant something to her, brought to her mind memories of times now gone but forever remaining in her heart and in her head melted to these chords they now play before her very eyes.

And came the next song and she couldn�t believe her ears either, it was Knows My Name! And yes, Days Away, I�m oversatisfied with the limits of this skyline and I�m oversatisfied with being here.

Looking upon the stage her eyes sought to catch a glimps of their basist, Chris whom she had email back when she was still in Malaysia and a couple of more times a few weeks ago. So technically, he was suppose to know that she�d be here. She wanted to say �hello!� and �I�m here! Finally!� to him. But she�d have to wait till later.
Then there the lead singer. He looked cute. Her friend was wrong telling her that he had a haircut somewhat like Nate of Finch. He certainly didn�t thought there were some similarities. But one thing alike Nate that she thought he had was that he looked like one of those shy and quiet reluctant superstar/leadsinger that Nate was. She had suddenly wanted to meet this guy but then the thought of talking to another quiet and shy leadsinger would only have her saying �I love your music� and that was it. How lame yet again.

She continued to watch them from there in the mosh pit. Looking at the band. Looking the words and the sounds that were coming out from the mouth of the singer. How lovely they were. Lovely like the memories now gone but forever frozen in time through these melodies.


And unfortunately though, the set did end. A little sooner than she had liked it to have been. They barely played 8 songs and that was it. But it was still lovely anyway, that the memories of home had finally came to being with the longing of seeing Days Away live, and that was all worth it in itself.



So the band got off stage and she lingered around. It was still bright outside and she wondered for a second if she should wait for Chris. They were still unloading their stuff from the stage. And that might take long. By then it could be dark and it would have been safer for her to walk while there was still sunlight.

But she couldn�t not say hello now could she?
And so she waited and it paid off cause Chris finally walked through the mosh pit and she went up to him.

�Hey Chris!� she said.
He looked at her to compose his thoughts for a moment, �hey,�
�I�m Elaine from Malaysia, thought I said hello,�
�Hey hi, Elaine!�

He gave her a brief hug.

�The set was awesome! It was worth every wait since Malaysia and traveling so far to see you!�
He laughed, �Thanks man, give me a five,�
And they high-five. And she laughed.
�Too bad it�s just one day though. I�d really wish I could see you more,�
�Well yeah, unfortunately,�
�Are you guys gonna tour again?�
�Well we just got off a one month tour with Finch and all that but we are certainly looking to widen our audience you know. To the Midwest, to the West and who knows! Maybe someday Malaysia,�
She laughed, �Yeah! That�d be awesome! I�ll see you there in December!�
He laughed, �Yeah, just as long as there�s gonna be lots of people there,�
�Don�t worry, I�ll make the crowd for you!�
He laughed, �hey you know what? Maybe we could talk later, like in about 15 or 30 mins. Cause I need to go get drinks for the band cause we�re like exhausted,�
�Yeah sure, go ahead,�
�We�ll be back in like 30 minutes,�
�Well okay, I�ll see you at the merch booth then,�
�Yeah,�
He was about to walk off.
�Hey, one more thing,�
�Yeah what is it?�
�Could you like walk me to the bus stop later, cause like I�m freaked out about walking alone,�
�Yeah sure,�

�So yeah, I�ll see you in 30 mins,� she said.

�Yeah okay,� he said and the disappeared into the crowd that was coming into the pit.



It was 8:15 and she waited.



But at 8:45 he still hadn�t appeared. And she needed to leave by 9. She didn�t wanna get home late. After all it was a school day. But he wasn�t there. And though she didn�t mind walking alone to the bus stop, she didn�t think it was nice to leave without saying goodbye.

So she thought about passing a message through the merch guy but then again, how certain was she that the merch guy would pass the message. But the only other Days Away people who was in the arena was their drummer and their lead singer. Even then after awhile, the drummer left and all that was left was their lead singer.

She didn�t feel like disturbing him though. Cause he was talking with his cousins, she presumed, cause he mentioned them during the show cause it was his birthday tomorrow. And so he seems like one of those didn�t talk much type. So she didn�t know.

By 8:55, she thought to herself, screw it. She had come so far. Like she�s traveled so far and this was awhole new life and it was plain stupid to be shy and shit like that. Plus she also thought of telling the lead singer how cool it was that they played Waking Up and Knows My Name cause she absolutely loved the songs.

So mustering up guts she finally did approach the lead singer and at that very moment he was turned away from his cousins and she manged to catch his attention and so she said hello.

�Hey,�
�Hey hi.�
�Just wanna say that your set was awesome!�
�Oh thanks .�

At that point in time, she thought it was gonna be the end of the conversation cause it suddenly felt like it.

�Yeah it was worth the wait! And you played Waking Up and Knows-�

�My Name � they said together.

�Yeah and I really love those songs ever since from Malaysia!�
Enthusiastically he said, �Oh you're from Malaysia?�
He had a certain happiness to his voice. Like a perpetual excitement.
�Yeah, Malaysia.�
�You know what? I've got a friend from Malaysia. � with that excitement. Or was it booze. She couldn�t tell.
�Oh?�

�Yeah, she was here actually. I think she just left like five minutes ago.�

�Really? Cool! Like where in Malaysia is she from?�
He laughed, �Gosh I don�t know! We never got to asking that!�

She laughed cause she was relaxed by then, somewhat, cause he seemed real open and friendly.

�Oh I�m Keith by the way.�
Giving her his hand she took it.

�What?� holding his hand.
He came close to her, �I�m Keith.�
�Oh hi, I�m Elaine.�

�Oh cool. Nice to meet you Elaine.�

�Hey it�s your birthday tomorrow right?�
He laughed, like with that excitement in him, �Yeah, it�s my birthday.�

�Happy birthday then!�
�Thanks!�
�You know that girl I was telling you about who�s from Malaysia, she is totally hot!�
Elaine laughed. This was not something you expected to hear your superstar share with you.
�Seriously?�
�Yeah! Totally!�

Elaine laughed, �See! Another reason for you to come play in Malaysia! I�ll see you there in December when I go home.�

Keith laughed amused, �Yeah in fact she is like one of those girls that just makes you feel good being around her you know.� He draws closer to her ear and holds her close to her talking into her ear.

�Seriously?�

Enthusiastically, �Yeah!� coming close to her again, �Like I was telling my friend that Audrey, the girl, is a person that just makes your day nice after talking to her.�

�No shit!�
Excitedly he said, �Yeah! So you�ve got a lot to top!�

They laughed.

Taking the opportunity, since they were on a roll, she asked further, �How did you get to know her?�

�Like she emailed us through our site. There�s this other girl too. She�s in Brazil and she emailed us and told us that she loved Days Away and all. And we chat on AIM and you know Yahoo sometimes, and it�s real cool!�

With that he laughed. She looked at him and was amazed! Was he drunk she wondered. But he was just talking to her, you know, like a normal person, like a friend. He was joking stuff with her for goodness sake! His breath did smell of alcohol but he was holding a bottle of plain water.

But still as animated as ever, he continued, �Yeah, we�d like hook up our computers, you know.�

�Webcams and all.�

�Yeah yeah, and she has this real thick accent and she�d sing me Days Away song and say �that�s Days Away for you Latino style!�� he said half laughing.

She laughed too, tangoing along with the joke! He just had an aura to him. A certain excitement to him, like he just wanted to tell everybody the stories of the world.

�And and,� he said in that excited voice of this, �sometimes we talk on Yahoo you can draw stuff on it you know,�

�Oh yeah! that Doodle thingy.�

�Yeah yeah! That! And so we�d like draw stuff to each other!� he said drawing some imaginary things on the palm of his hand.

She laughed, amused at him.

Then remembering what her brother had told her about superstars and since they were already talking like they�ve known each other forever, she seized the opportunity and asked, �So what�s your Yahoo ID? Maybe I could doodle with you some time.�

He laughed, �Yeah yeah. We could. It�s wordupstyles.�
�Word what?�
�No, were. W.E.R.E up styles.�
�Oh okay, WERE-up-styles,�

�Yeah yeah,� he said then continued, �Don�t ask me why though. It�s like one of the rap things I was into you know, like� then he rapped �word up styles, word up syles.�

She laughed with him as he broke into laughter too.
�Rap thing huh? Back during your rap phase huh?�

Laughing he said, �Yeah!�

There was a short pause. Just the commotion of the people around at foyer shuffling between the bar and the most pit.

Realizing the time and wondering if life could be that simple after all, she took the chance anyway and askedm �Hey, could you do me a favor?�

And he responded openly, �Yeah sure, what is it?�
She checked, �Are you free right now? Like are you gonna be busy any time soon?�
�No. I�m not.�

�Would you like walk me to the bus stop on Sunset cause I�m abit freaked out to walk there alone.�

Then without hesitating he said, �Yeah okay. Where is it at?�

�It�s like� she pointed towards the direction of Sunset Boulevard, �on Sunset. But there�s this long road I gotta walk to get there, Doheny Avenue, and I don�t quite wanna walk alone.�

He shrugged and said, �Well yeah sure. Come on lets go.�

She smiled, �Oh okay, thanks so much though. I�m just freaked out about walking there alone.�

�How far is it?�

�I don�t know, like 10 or like 15 mins. It�s not too far I guess.� Though she kinda knew it could be more.

�Ok okay, lets go.� He agreed anyway. Perhaps not knowing what he�s getting himself into, she thought.



And so they exit Troubadour together. It�s like he didn�t even hesitate, and that was cool. And exiting Troubadour with Keith, she suddenly realize how surreal it was cause like barely five minutes ago, they didn�t know each other!

Feeling abit bad she said to him, �Thanks so much for doing this,�
�Nah it�s cool,�
Just then his phone rings and he looked at it for a moment.
�You sure it�s okay for you to leave?�

He looked at her and said, �Yeah of course it is. It�s just that they don�t like it when I disappear suddenly and for too long without telling anyone.�

We were walking the outside cold.

�Oh okay.� She said, her voice low, wondering if she should bring him so far down to Sunset.

Then he exclaimed, �But I do it all the time anyway!�

And with that she laughed.

And she joked, �Like to walk fans to bus stops huh?�

He laughed, �Yeh,�

They walked on still within the parameters of Troubador. Then they passed some of his friends and he stopped to talk to them for a bit. Then he waved them goodbye and pointed to her saying, �well, I�m gonna walk her to the bus stop�.

She did feel kinda awkward for awhile but she shrugged it aside and they walked on.

Remembering the conversation with her brother she tried to find normal things to ask him about.

So she asked enthusiastically, �So how are you gonna celebrate your birthday tomorrow?!�

�We�re gonna drive up to San Francisco tomorrow actually. But my cousins are down today.�

�Oh yeah, you mentioned that during the show.�

Remembering he said, �Yeah yeah..I did.� Then he laughed and back to his ever excited voice he explained, �And they rented this huge suite in a hotel off Sunset. It has a wet bar and all that.�

�And so you�re all gonna go hang out there afterwards huh?�

�Yeah yeah! It�s like were all gonna be there. There�s like food and drinks and all that.

�especially the ALCOHOL,� she stressed.
He laughed.
�Yeah and the alcohol,� he laughed again then continued, �We�re gonna have all that.

Actually I don�t really drink much. And my cousin has like some plants, you know. Like those shit.�

�Pot, you mean.�
�Yeah, yeah.� He said then laughed.
�So you do pot then?� she enquired.
�Actually no, not much.� He explained.
Odd, �Why not?�

�I don�t like it actually. No actually, it really gets to me, so I don�t do it often. And like my cousins are all like way older. So they can do those stuff a lot, you know what I mean,�
They walked up Doheny Dr. and were walking towards Days Away�s van. And they met up with the rest of the band at their van.

She saw Chris and turned to him, �Hey I got him to walk me instead,�
�Oh okay,� Chris nodded.

Then enthusiastically Keith announced, �Hey I want you all to meet my friend Elaine. She�s from Malaysia. Isn�t that cool? And she said that listening to Days Away reminds her of home! Isn�t that cool?�

�Oh cool,� their guitarist said.

�Seriously! I still can�t listen to Days Away without feeling I wanna cry remembering home!�

The band laughed.
And then Keith went on to introduce her to the band and to heir keyboardist.

�This is our new keyboardist, Tim� Keith said.
And then Keith said, �I�m gonna walk her to the bus stop,�
�Yeah on Sunset,� she added. She felt odd though, like stealing him away from his world.
�You wanna come along?� Keith asked Tim who was skating on his skateboard.
Tim shrugged and agreed to come.

And so they started walking again and she said goodbye to Chris, �I�ll see you online� and they left with Tim skating with along. He was trying out some tricks on the skateboard.

Then Keith said to him, �No dude, you gotta learn to do that one trick,�
�You skate then? Skate now, lemme see,� she joked.
Keith said, �No, I don�t skate but I know how to do that one trick,�
She laughed cause she found that odd.
Tim said something she couldn�t really hear and tried another trick.

Then they walked on and got to the next block when someone yelled from behind them. She didn�t hear it but they stopped for a moment and it was Days Away asking Tim if he had the van keys and he yelled back �no!� then he checked again and it was �oh yeah I do have it,�
At this time Keith got a phonecall and Tim turned them and said, �I�ll be right back, you guys walk first, I�ll meet you on there. On sunset right?�

And cause Keith was busy looking at the phone, Elaine answered, �Yeah, on Sunset, it�s just straight on,�.

Tim said okay and so, she and Keith continued walking.

Then Keith turned to her and said, �I keep getting these phone calls and I don�t even know who is it,� then he laughed and the walked on up the street.

After a short while, the phone rang again. She was abit worried that people were looking for him cause he wasn�t around but they just left Days Away so it couldn�t be.

Keith looked at the phone, �what the hell? Who are these people?� he said and then finally picked up the call, �hello?� and then he began to talk on the phone.

And then she could hear some girls voice on the other end and by then it seems that he knew who it was and he continued talking like, �I can�t do that but I can get you into the show,� and then they talked more and then there was some pause and he whispered into her ear, �it�s my highschool friends,�

She smiled and said, �Oh cool,� and then he talked more and then he told his friend, �hey, hey, guess where I am now? I�m walking on Keith Avenue! Can you believe it Keith Avenue!� and he laughed amused.

She looked up and sure as ever, there it was Keith Avenue. She laughed.

And at that moment he reached out and put his arm around her and in reaction she too put her arms around him and there they were walking together arms around each others, like buddies! It was just plain surreal, cause his closeness, just jumped out of nowhere! Though, she still wondered if he was still drunk!

And he talked more with his friends then he said, �Hey, could you put Jenny on for a while? I wanna talk to her,� and then there was a pause and he whispered into her ear, �Jenny�s my girlfriend,� and she was thinking that the whole situation was just odd as shit. Here you are walking down a silent lonely road arms around another girl while you talk to your girlfriend on the phone? But I guess that�s when you know you love your boyfriend or girlfriend. That when you can walk down a road with another person, yet trust your love for your loved one enough to know you�re not gonna mess up.

And he talked to Jenny the he said something like, �hey Jenny. Jenny? Guess what I�m doing now? I�m walking my friend Elaine from Malaysia to Sunset Blvd! She said that Days Away reminds her of home and she wanted to cry when she saw us live. Isn�t that just cool?!� he laughed amused and he talked to Jenny more abit and they continued to walk together.

After some time, he said to Jenny, �Hey Jenny, I�ll call you back like in 10 minutes okay? Are you even gonna pick up your phone?� he laughed, �okay. I�ll call you later then.� And there was a pause. And then in the stillness of the night came his lovely voice saying softly, �Love you� and with that, he hung up. Her heart wanted to melt!

And in the silence they continued walking together and then she said, �So those are your friends, huh?� and he laughed, �Yeah! They�re just calling to disturb me and all.�

She laughed and then he said, �Sorry that I stink,� he said withdrawing and she laughed more. Bad BO was like the LAST thing on her mind! And she said, �No you don�t, not that I noticed anyway,�

Then out of curiosity she asked him, �So how long have you and Jenny been with each other?�

He said, �I�ve been with her since 7th grade,�
Really taken aback she exclaimed, �GOSH! 7th grade?!� She hasn�t even gotten a date at 20!
�Yeah, but it�s like an off and on thing since 7th grade you know,�
�But still! 7th grade!�

�Yeah.� He chuckled. �That�s pretty long. But I never once cheated on her or any of my girlfriends though,� Damn. Heh. If he wasn�t taken, she�d ask him for a kiss.

�But the band�s been together since 7th grade too,� he explained.

�Really?� She didn�t know that!

�Yeah, we�ve been together pretty long. So like can you imagine how much time we�ve spent on this. We used to practice for like 5 to 6 hours everyday,� he explained.

�Gosh, really?�

�Yeah, so like, can you imagine how much effort we�ve put into this. But we�re all still very young. Like I�m 19. I�m turning 20 tomorrow. And we�ve been like playing since 7th grade. So it�s pretty amazing how far we�re come.�

�Yeah you know, that�s what I�m inspired by. People who make it great at a very young age! That�s just kick ass.�

He laughed, �Yeah. Like we�re getting to the point where we�re making songs that we�re happy with. That we�ve come to the point that we�re happy with the sounds that we�re making. Like there�s nothing really I wanna change about it. And we�re happy with what we come up with. And with a new keyboardist, you know Tim, it�s just amazes me the sounds we come up with and that�s just amazing and great performing it. I mean our family, all of our families have been supporting us so far you know. Like financially and stuff.� He explained and she was just contented being there listening to him talk about the music that he loved. And the passion in him for life and for music can just be seen and most of all, heard through his voice, that rises and falls in excitement and enthusiasm and in contentment of how far they�ve come.

Then he continued. �And I can�t wait till the day where we can like make money out of this, you know. And like have HUGES show! That would be such an orgasmic experience!� and he laughed and she laughed with him.

�Orgasmic experience huh?�

�Yeah! Seriously,� his voice beaming with excitement, �It�s soooooooo gonna be. I can�t wait!�

She laughed.

�You know that feeling when it�s just awesome to see so many people love the very same thing that you do, it�s just awesome.� And there it was again, his passion for life, for touching hearts and being touched in return.

�I know what you mean, but I have YET to experience it!�

He laughed.
Nearby, they spot a man walking a really cute doggie around and her heart melted.
�Cute doggie!� she exclained, �I miss having a dog, I miss my dog so much!�
He chuckled again and reached over to pet the dog as they walked by.
Then they continued walking on up the hill.

�Yeah but usually people have to be forced to listen to us though,� he said continuing on the conversation.

�Yeah!! Sometimes I just want people to like know Days Away! You know it�s like �DUDE! This is a kick ass band!� check them out!� she exclaimed, remembering how she felt almost a year ago when she first found out about them.

He laughed, then said, �But they won�t! You gotta force them,�

�Yeah I force my friends too, like �shut up! You�re sitting in my car and you listen to whatever I put on the radio�! so yeah, force,� she laughed.

He laughed too.

Turning to her he asked, �So how did you hear about Days Away?�

�I think it was on some band�s liner notes, I don�t remember which though, maybe finch or someone else�

�Which?�

�Like you know, liner notes, where the band thanks blah blah and days away was there and I was looking for new bands to check out and I saw Days Away there, downloaded it and I was fell in love!� she exclaimed.

He laughed, �Yeah, which band�s liner notes was it. I know we�re on Finch and Midtown, they�re like awesome,�

�I don�t know.. I think it might have been Finch,�

He laughed, �Yeah man, Finch has been awesome. Like on their liner notes they had something like �and Days Away, you guys f*cking rock!�.�

Remembering she exclaimed, �Yeah yeah! They did say that!�

�Finch has been like really really supportive of us. Like recently like last month, they took us on a whole tour with them and all that.�

�Yeah, I know!! I wanted to go fly over to the east coast to see those shows!� Elaine exclaimed, she really really wanted to. After all where you one ever find a line up such as this: Endor, Days Away and Finch! All in ONE show! It was like a dream line up for goodness sake!

He laughed, �Like yeah, we�re really close and all. And like Finch�s manager,� pointed to himself, �Our manager. Finch�s lawyers,� pointed to him. And she said, �Your lawyers.�
�Uh huh. We share everything man. We were gonna get signed to Drive Thru too but we said no to them.�

At that point she wanted to ask why though, but she didn�t cause he was gonan talk more so she let him go on.

�And like last month, when we were on tour with them, they allowed us to use their sound tech. And by the end of the tour he knew our songs so well, he was putting like effects on my vocals and stuff like that.�

�Yeah?�

�Yeah like that third song we played tonight. It�s sort of like a mellow song, and the sound tech would like put a delay to my vocals and all that and when I heard it I was like �wow! Shit! I sound good!�

She laughed. He was gonna say something more but she just had to ask, �So how did you get to know Finch to begin with?�

�How did we get to know Finch? We like played with them together on our first California, that was way back when they weren�t even signed. And they�ve been real cool to us. In fact it was my girlfriend, Jenny, like who got us together.

�Oh really?�

She looks at him and they were just walking, his face cast upon the yellow streetlights on the other side of the street.

�Like yeah. Like when I talk to people, I tend not to look at them, you know, like people think I�m not interested or something,� he turned to face her for a moment.

�Hey I do that too, I don�t look at people,� she said looking at him.

�Well like but Jenny�s totally different! Its like she talks a lot, like a lot, And when she talks she�s like all come close to you and all that like she�s really like in your face� he came close to me, �when she talks to people,�

Elaine laughed, �But that�s cause she�s enthusiastic man!�

He chuckled, �Yeah yeah, and that�s why Derek really liked us. He really liked that about Jenny cause she was all enthusiastic about Finch! In fact like we, me and Jenny, were mentioned in his thank you list, like he had Days Away listed on it and he had the names Keith and Jenny in brackets.�

�Oh? I didn�t see that! I�ve gotta go check that out!�

�Yeah, so like. Jenny can get very�� his voice died down a little. Like a reluctance in him.

�Very�.?�

�It�s like we�re grown now right, like I�m gonna turn 20. But she�s still like you know�. 7th grade!�

Elaine laughed, �like how 7th grade?�

�Like just now when I said to her like �Hey guess what Jenny? I�m walking my friend Elaine to the bus stop,� and she went all like, �he mimics a downcast Jenny, ��uh. Okay.�.�

She laughed, �Oh come on! Any girl would be like that! Not just her!�
He smirked, �Any girl huh?�

�Yeah! Like I�d be like that! I wouldn�t want my boyfriend to be walking down ANY road with ANY girl! Hell!�

He laughed.

Just then a cop car pulled by them. She looked at the cop car and he walked a little nearer.

�We�re not doing anything wrong, sir,� she joked.

And he chuckled. The cop car stayed as they walked on up the hill.

Keith turned behind for awhile to see if Tim was coming.

�I think he�s just gonna meet us up on Sunset,� she said.

He nodded, �Yeah, maybe,�

To keep the motion going, she asked, �So how is touring like? Is it really all crazy and stuff like that? With a lot of alcohol and stuff of partying and all that?�

He laughed a little, �Yeah, pretty much. But I don�t drink much. They call me gay for that,� and he laughed.

She laughed too.
�So what other bands do you listen to?� he asked.

For a moment, all thoughts left her and she forgot what she actually listened to and could only manage, �Well Finch, Taking Back Sunday��

�Oh, you�ve gotta check out the band Revolver,� he suddenly said enthusiastically and with that excitement all over again.

�Oh yeah, I know them. I saw them when they played with Taking Back Sunday,�

�Oh that�s cool. BUT. BUT� he said with that excited voice of his, �Don�t judge them based on their live shows though. They�re just loud when they play live. But their songs are just awesome!�

�Really??�

�Yeah! You just gotta get a hold of their EP, I don�t know how you could do that, but you should. Cause I tell you, they�ve got songs in there that are just�. SWEET!� and he was all enthusiastic again!

�Damn! I should have gotten it back then!� she exclaimed.

Excitedly he said, �Yeah! And they�re just fantastic guys, you know. Totally awesome. You know the clothing brand Atticus? Finch is on it, Taking back Sunday is on it and like Days Away is on it and like a whole load of us are on it. And they had a photo shoot and they chose me to represent the band, don�t ask me why. And like they had put me in the same room with Revolver and I had the best time ever!� and he laughed.
At that point in time she realized that he wasn�t drunk at all. Keith was just Keith and he was just like that: a perpetual excitement in his voice. It was like he was high on life itself.

She waited on and let him continue which he did very excitedly, like a kid who can�t wait to tell his friends the story of the day, like that, he went on, �Yeah yeah, and Like there was this incident with me and their bassist. We were in the room watching a movie and we had this talk late one night.� He pause, in half suspense like too excited to tell the story yet can�t remember what it�s about, �I don�t remember what it was about anymore. But it was just funny as hell. It was like we were talking about something, and he says that I�m gay and it somewhat like implied that he wanted to make out with me or something,�

�WHAT?!�

�Yeah yeah! I know! Oh yeah now I remember what it was about!� he then exclaimed and continued really exicitedly, �We were up and he had told me to call him by some name like PoPoh or something, you know. And we were like hanging out with the rest of the band and we were all joking around. And I stopped and said something like �what was it that you wanted me to call you? Po Poh?� and the whole room just stopped at stared at me and then they all just cracked up and laughed. Like cause they always call me a girl cause I talk a lot you know. And so they say I�m abit gay.�

�Aww.. no you�re not.�

He laughed, �Well yeah. They were just awesome. They�re wonderful. Like sometimes the bassist will call me up to like just check on me. To see how I�m doing an all,�

�Aww that�s nice of him,�

�Yeah, there�re just awesome.� At this time he was breathless cause she could even hear his shortness of breath but she was real glad they were finally almost approaching Sunset, �Goodness! Walking up this hill�s making me tired!� he exclaimed.

She laughed, �oh come on, don�t say that, don�t make me feel guilty. I didn�t mean to drag you into this,�

He laughed, �Don�t feel guilty,�

She said, �I just have a very bad guilty conscience,�

He laughed, �No. No don�t feel guilty. It�s not your fault,�

And she laughed.

�So yeah, you really should check Revolver out. There�re just loud live, like �lets trash this show�, but if you check their EP out, there�s just some, you know, great songs in there. It�s like their lyrics are great. Not like cheesy like,� he impromptu sings some really cheesy lines like �I love you, always wanna be with you, you�re everything to me� then continued, �It�s not like hat you know. Its like, lemme see..� the pauses for a moment then catches a tune in his head and sing to her probably the chorus of one of Revolver�s song.

And there it was, how surreal can life ever get! There it was the lead singer of Days Away singing a private performance of a cover of Revolver�s as they approached Sunset Boulevard. Can life get more surreal than that?!

He finished singing and then said, �It�s like that, you know, it�s not cheesy, it�s awesome,�

They finally reached Sunset by and she spotted the bus stop acorss on the left of Doheny Avenue.

�I think that�s the bus stop, lets go check if it�s right,� she indicated the bus stop

Pausing from talking he looked over to the bus stop and said, �There? Okay,�

We wait for the lights to change with him pressing on the padestrain light button.

�Have you heard of the band _____?�

�____?�

�Yeah, have you?�

�Er.. no,�

�They suck.�

She looked at him taken aback, �WHAT?�

The lights changed. She pulled him to move cause he was still distracted in talking, �They do suck,�

�They suck? Why?�

�Like the lead singer tries to like buy his way into the circle of bands you know. Like� holding up an imaginary joint, �Hey you want some shit? They�re good. Man dude, so can I like know you and stuff?�� he mimicked as they reached the other side of Doheny Drive.

�Ah like sucking up to bands,� she said understanding.

�Yeah like that. That�s stupid. Like how am I gonna take your music seriously with you doing something stupid like that? You know what I mean?�

She laughed, and it was true. And what she realized was that though he might be all chatty and enthusiastic and all that, when it came to music, she could see the love and the respect and passion for it shine through. And she smiled,

They then reached the bus stop an she looked up at the signs.
�So is this the bus stop? Does it say it goes to where you�re going?�

Still looking at the signs, �Not really. I don�t know. I�ve never taken the bus before. It�s like my first time here.�

�Maybe we should like ask the cops,� he said looking around. She looked at him amazed! A guy stopping to ask for directions! Wow! RARE GEM!

�Maybe, it�s just that I don�t know which direction Vine street is on, you know. Maybe we�ll check out the other bus stop.�

�That other one?� he pointed over to the bus stop across on the other side of Sunset.

�Yeah, come on lets go,� she said as the light turned green for them to cross.

And so they crossed the Sunset with him still talking.

�You know, I�d really really love to see you and your girlfriend talk to each other. I really wonder who will outdo each other in talking!� she exclaimed laughing a little.

He laughs, �no but like you see, we kinda feed off each other. Like she talks a lot sometimes and I talk a lot too, you know,� he was talking when the other light changed and she pulled him across again. Boy did he talk a lot!

They reached the next bus stop and she paused at the signs to look at it. They look even more foreign!

�So like, you�ve never been here?� he asked.
�I have but like I�m just not sure.

She continued looking at the signs, trying to figure out which location meant Hollywood. Or if any of them meant Hollywood at all!

�I think it�s that other one,�

�Where are we like going?�

�Like Sunset and Vine,�

�Is it like far?�

�No! we can�t walk there! I mean, I can�t walk there!�

�If we see a cop we should like ask them,�

She pressed the button for the traffic lights, �We can�t like hail a cop down like we hail a cab!�

He laughed.

The light changes and they crossed. Twice she had to pull him across the street cause he was too busy talking!

�It�s 11th today right?� she asked.

�Yeah,�

�Oh! Today is like EXACTLY my fourth month here,� she exclaimed.

�What? Forth day?�

�No! of course not, forth month. Four months ago today, I came here.�

He laughed, in his animated voice again he said, �If I had been born today I�d be named Louis. Thank goodness I wasn�t born today,�

She laughed amused, �You like your name a lot huh?�

He laughed, �No cause my granddad was born on the 11th.�

�Aha!�

�So, if I was born today, my mom wanted to name me Louis after him. Cause his name�s Louis. Thank God I wasn�t born today. I like my name the way it is.� He said animatedly.

�Keith,� she said.

�Yes. My granddad. Like my mom�s dad�s named Louise. He died when my mom was 13,�

�Oh��

The light changed and they crossed Sunset.

�Yeah, he was driving in an automobile and he had a heartattck,�

�Oh goodness! While driving?�

�Yeah. And my mom had to jump to hit the breaks but he like died on the way to the hospital.�

She looked at him as they crossed Sunset.

�And like so if we watch shows like Family Ties and if anyone dies, my mom will just be like,�

�Affected huh?�

�Yeah. And I feel bad cause like, I understand how she feels but I can�t do anything for her you know. She�s just be real sad and all.�

She nodded and they reached the other side of Sunset again.

�Lets park ourselves on those benches for awhile� he said indicating the bus stop.
�Yeah okay,� she said and they went over and took a seat.

�But I love my mom. She�s awesome. Like, she called ME a day before mothers day to wish me happy mother�s day,� he said excitedly still.

�What?? She did that?! That�s weird!�

�I know! But she said something like, it�s you and your brother that makes being a mother wonderful and she called me to wish me happy mother�s day,�

�Aww that�s sweet.�

�Yeah, I love my mom. She�s just awesome. Me and my brother would have been nothing if it�s not for her. But like she called me a day before mother�s day! You know what I mean.� He said with a half laugh.

She laughed, �heh, it�s not like you�re gonna call her right?�

�Yeah! It�s not like I wasn�t gonna call her or anything like that,� he exclaimed.

�But eh, I didn�t call my mom. I called her like a day late or something,�

�That�s not good.� He said looking at her.

�Yeah I know! And I think she was hurt cause I called my godmom on the exact day,� she exclaimed.

He laughed, �Yeah she must have been hurt. I didn�t call my godmom. But I did call my mom and Jenny�s mom,�

�You did huh?�

�Yeah, I was like on the phone with Jenny yeah and her mom picked up the phone. And Jenny like said �I�m on the phone�. And so her mom put down the phone. Then like I told Jenny, �hey you know what? Could you put your mom back on again?� and she did and when her mom was on the phone, I just said �Mrs. ____ you�re beautiful�� he laughs.

�Aww that�s real sweet!�

�Yeah and Jenny like said something like �aww.. that�s really sweet of you. That�s why I love you�� then he looks at me, �But you know, when you feel something strongly inside you, sometimes, you just gotta say it, you know what I mean?� he said then looked at her. She looked at him, the calm against Sunset.

There was certainly something more to him. Something more to him than the enthusiasm and the most definite excitement in his voice. Something deeper. Pure and sincere. And passionate. And that was what she saw, in those time of calm- him just sitting there, playing with his lip ring.

�Yeah, that�s true,� she said and then looked away.

And they sat there looking at the traffic in the night.

At that moment a beautiful girl in an even more beautiful car pulled up at the traffic like.

�Gosh, that car�s beautiful. The girl�s cute too.� He said.

She chuckled, �Heh, yeah. Like �can you give me a ride please? I�m just going down the road�.�

Keith laughed.
�Gosh there�re a lot of beautiful cars here,� he exclaimed.

�And beautiful people,� she reminded him.

Just then a car passed by them and a girl inside waved to him and Keith waved back and she laughed.

�There you go, cute girls in beautiful cars,�

�Man, I don�t mind owning one of those,� he pointed to this other sports car that drove past them.

She chuckled, the car was cool.

�But, but, but, you know what?� the excitement and animation came back to his voice, like he just was, all enthusiastic, all happy. High on life, �Don�t feel bad about it, cause many of these people, were born rich,�

She laughed, �with a silver spoon in their mouths,�

�Yeah, yeah. It�s not like their earned it you know. It�s like cause their family�s rich. So don�t feel bad about it.� He said in that �advising� way only with a cute egde to it.

She laughed more then said, �Yeah,�

�Like this friend I have. Her boyfriends like an actor. But he�s not like those big actors, you know. Just small parts, like background people, you know,� again he snapped back into his chatty mode.

�Cameos,� she added.

�Yeah, cameos. But we like got to her house, he has like this house that is HUGE, I mean huge! And he had like loads of cars and BMWs, you know.� He exclaimed.

�He didn�t earn them right,� she asked.

�Well duh! Of course not, isn�t that the point I�m getting at?� he said looking at him and she laughed.

�These people were BORN rich.�

She laughed, �Okay, I shouldn�t feel bad cause these people were born rich. It�s their parents, not them.�

�Exactly!� he exclaimed, then still chatty he continued in his ever excited voice again,

�Like we have a friend Charlie right? We went to stay with him in his house in Orange Country. And GOSH! You should see that house. It was huge. It was like that big,� he pointed across to the street to some stores lining the boulevard, �No, bigger even, like that big but with like a huge ass lawn. And he had like a private pool and all that you know. Like MTV Cribs,�

�Yeah I was gonna say that,�

�Yeah, but like it�s cause his parents were rich, not cause he made it himself. So don�t feel bad around people like them, cause it�s their family�s who�s rich, not them�

She laughed, �Yeah and we�re gonna be the parent that�s gonna make shit loads of money so that our kids can drive cool cars,�

He laughed, �Yeah like that. And like that girl from Malaysia, she�s really rich too. Like she�s traveled all around the world. She�s been to Europe and US and Asia and all over like with her friends and all that. And she�d tell me �I�ve been around the world��.

�Aww.. you�ll tour the world one day too!� she said.

�Yeah, like �hey! I�ve toured around the US man!�� he joked.

She laughed.

And she sat there looking at him, still playing with his lip ring. And she realized that never did once for the past 30 minutes had he ever made her feel as though she was a fan. And even with all the mention of Finch and touring and Revolver, never once did he ever make her feel as though he was in a band either. Although the realization that this was the very DUDE who not only sang on her radio, but this was the very dude who sang those wonderful songs Waking Up and Knows My Name which had accompanied her through so very very many experiences and memories. Never in the past 30 minute did he make her feel that they were strangers. In all his disclosure of events in his life, about how he felt about music, about relationships with loved once, never once did he ever made her feel like a stranger. Never once. Never in the past 30 minutes in his talking to her and how he was with her that made her feel those reality. He just perhaps made it as though reality was that they were just two people, who knew each other, walking down a street together at night. And perhaps for that 30 minutes that night, that was what they were- and that was the reality.

Then she looked down sunset wondering when the hell the bus was gonna come.

�You sure the bus�s gonna come?� he asked
�I don�t know dude!� she exclaimed looking at him.
�You don�t? Like how far is the place you�re going anyway?�
�It�s like just down Sunset that way,� she said, pointing towards Hollywood.

�How long is it gonna take you to get there?� he asked as she looked at him. Would you take me there then? She so wanted to ask him, but she didn�t. Some hopes are not to be realized.

�I don�t know, like 15 to 20 minutes drive?� she answered.

�Oh then, that�s not too far. Why don�t you just take a cab then?�

�Cause it�s DANGEROUS! That�s why!� she exclaimed.

He brushed her suspicion off, �No it�s not! I�ve taken cabs before and it�s not dangerous.�
�Well, that�s you!� she exclaimed.

Getting up a little he said, �Come here, lemme get you a cab,�

Right there and then there was a cab and he hailed it for her.

�It�s really not dangerous, lemme get you a cab, it�s gonna be alright,�
The cab stopped and she stood next to him as he opened the door of the cab door.
�I�ll pay for the ride.�

And she was like PAY FOR IT??
�No! you don�t have to!� she exclaimed.
�No it�s okay. I�ll pay for it,� he said.
�No man, it�s really okay, I can pay,� She had $20 left.

�It�s okay, lemme check how much it costs,� he said then stuck his head into the cab to enquire the price. She saw the cabbie shake his head. Then Keith turned to her and asked, �Where were you going again?�

�Like Sunset and Vine, the Hollywood and Vine Station,�

�Oh okay, lemme check how much it is,� he said.

�Wait, you really don�t have to pay for the cab okay,� she said as he turned to enquire the price further.

Then, he emerged from the cab and turned to her, �Here lemme give you some money,� he said then pulled out some cash from his pocked and counted it as she stood there awkwardly.

�It�s really okay, you know,� she continued saying.

�Nah, it�s okay,� he said.

He dropped a dollar and she reached down to pick it up for him.

Then he hand her some money as she gave him his dollar, �Here, this should be enough,� he said giving her $10 that she reluctantly took from him.

�Thanks so much, you know.� She said holding the money.

�It�s nothing,� he said and smiled.

Then he reached over and they hugged.

At that moment she really didn�t want this to all end.

And trying to hold onto something from today she said, �So your Yahoo ID is wordupstyles right?�

�Yeah,� he said.

�Just wanna check,� she said still holding him.

They they withdrew from the embrace and he asked, �Actually you�ve got AIM?�
�Yeah,�

Time was speeding past, the cab was waiting, perhaps somewhere in her she wanted that scene from the show Before Sunrise to play out, where you just rush against time to get hold of each other because you didn�t ever want the moment to end, and you want to reach out to something more, something further beyond this moment.

�My SN is Sunedays7.�

�Suny as SUNY�
�No as in SUNEDays-7. I�m on that more,�

�Well okay� I hope I won�t forget,� she said and smiled and they looked at each other.
He held the door open for her and she turned to step in.

�Don�t worry, I�m seeing you off into a cab, you�re gonna be okay, it�s not gonna be dangerous okay,� he continued to assure her.

And she took a sit inside the cab and looked up at him outside. He gave her a wink and she smiled.

�Yeah okay. Thanks so much okay. And hey, nice meeting you,�

He smiled and closed the door and we waved goodbye.

The cab drove off down Sunset Boulevard.

And that's why, i guess, Days Away holds a special place in my heart.... I miss them alot... I'm sorry that i've not seen them at all this year and that's beyond TRAGIC, but i hope i will, at least before i leave...

Looking back, alot of things that Keith said, kinda makes sense in retrospect. Everytime he mentioned Audrey in the conversation, NOW that keith told me and i KNOW that heh! He likes herrrrr, it's so cute what he said about her! And i remember still, the conversation i had with Keith at UCLA and we were sitting there waiting for the show to start, err, i was waiting for the show to start, he was waiting to start the show... And we were talking about unrequitted love.
At that moment Audrey was walking down the steps from the Student Union and Keith said to me "look at her, she's perfect" wuahahaha... and i told her that he should tell her how he feels and he told me that he can't. And I asked "why not?!" and he said that he just doesn't have what she's looking for in a guy. He just can't give her what she wants. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW damn! that's so sad! And then he told me that the closest chance he got to be with her was the time he was still going out with Jenny when Days Away was living in California (this was after they graduated from High School).

It's nice i guess... to be able to sit and talk with someone who MIGHT be in a band but you know, it didn't feel that way at all.

And i think those were the two times as well as that night when i called Tim and also got to talk to Keith after Paul rejected me and i was depressed so i called Tim (geez! elaine! you LISTEN to a band's song to make you feel better, NOT call them up on the phone to CHAT! geez!) but yeah... those were the three times that it wasn't like a band and fan, but it felt like a friend with Keith.

Ouh well, it's over now, so... at least there's memories to look back at, i guess...

i was thinking of giving Keith a copy of this before i leave when i see him again.... what do you think?

Anyways, please check them out at: www.myspace.com/daysaway

of Dreams and other demons...

When i was 14 i knew exactly what i wanted to be. At 16, as lacking in self esteem as i was, i had the confidence to take on the world, or at the very least, to have the arrogance and confidence to embrace my future and take on my dreams.

Here now, in California no less, at 23, i feel hopeless about everything...

what stands between me and you know, America, is a fucking Social Security Number... I never applied for a job in California and i never got a social security number. And now i am told that the only way to get a SS# is that i have to find a job RELATED to my FIELD OF STUDY (fucking journalism) to be able to get a SS#. That's just fucked up.

I don't know... all i want is a chance, you know... All i want is just a chance, that's all...

here's to the folies of youth..

"You know, sometimes I just wish I could just grow up and live," she said suddenly. "Grow up and miss all this fun?" he asked looking at her. "Yeah, I mean� I just wanna grow up and live my dreams," she said.

He smiles. "Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long," he sings and she smiles and laughs a little. Then she looks at him, "Yeah, that's what I mean!" she exclaimed.

Then they both look at each other.

And yes, i wrote that in one of my short stories when i was 14, maybe... these days... it's easier to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.

Well here it is! Elaine's Favourite X-Files Episodes!

well i hope you read at all!!!!

Ok, with all the bad publicity to X-Files, i also must publicize it abit... I mean after all, there IS a reason why i like the series... And so this is gonna be a light hearted post about...

Elaine's Favourite X-Files Episodes (that i DO recommend you to watch, actually), in no particular order.

Detour (Season 5)

I liked the way Mulder and Scully interacted in this episode. While STILL NOT agreeing with each other (do they ever?!), they were very light hearted. Here are some of the conversations and parts i like... But of course, reading the lines really don't make it as funny as it watching it!

Agent Kinsley: "Last year was something of a personal revelation. We were doing an exercise called team builders, where we were given two minutes to build a tower out of ordinary office furniture."
Agent Stonecypher: "When I stood on Mike's shoulders and put I that electric pencil sharpener on top of the pile, we both knew... we could never have done it alone."
Mulder: [to Scully] "Kill me now."

Agent Kinsley: "I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word 'but'."
Mulder: "I'm having that same problem right now..."
Agent Stonecypher: "Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?"
Mulder: "No. You know, unfortunately around this time of year I always develop a severe haemorrhoidal condition."
Agent Kinsley: "Well, it builds muscles you didn't even know you had!" [Mulder laughs at him silently]
Agent Stonecypher: "Communication, that's the key.'

Scully: "Mulder. We've got this conference, they're waiting."
Mulder: "Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully."
Scully: "You want me to tell them that you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar."
Mulder: "Yes. You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that � unspoken. You know what I'm thinking."

And of course, the part i loved the most was the part where mulder gets injured and they're stucks in the woods alone with the monsters lurking nearby.



Scully: "You were an Indian guide, help me out here." [Frustrated trying to light the fire]
Mulder: "Indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches."
Scully: "I would but I left my wallet in the car."
Mulder: "What are you doing?"
Scully: "Trying to open my gun... if I can separate the shell from the casing, maybe I can get the powder to ignite."
Mulder: "And maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows."
Scully: "Do I detect a hint of negativity?"
Mulder: "No! Yes, actually... yeah."
Scully: "Mulder you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock."
Mulder: "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked."
Scully: "Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky. You ever thought seriously about dying?"
Mulder: "Yeah, once. When I was at the Ice Capades."

Scully: "Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune."
Mulder: "Doesn't matter, just sing anything."
Scully: [pauses] "Jeremiah was a bullfrog... Was a good friend of mine... Never understood a single word he said... But I helped him drink his wine..."
Mulder: "Chorus..."
Scully: "Joy to the world... All the boys and girls.... Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea... Joy to you and me..."


Bad Blood (Season 5)

Ok, this was a CLASSIC CLASSIC episode... I don't think i can even begin to say why i love this episode excepto to say that it was BRILLIANTLY written, EXTREMELY, ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLY funny!

If you know mulder and scully, you can really see their perceptions here.

A story of Mulder accidentally killing a boy he thought to be a vampire (drove a stick through the boy's heart!) who turned out to have FAKE fangs. And so the whole episode is about Scully and Mulder retelling the story of how everything happened from their own point of view.

You get scully's mulder being this hyper punk who keeps pushing her around, basically being a slave driver, paranoid dude. hahahaha damn funny.
THen Mulder's perception of scully being the dismissive, inattentive, bitchy skeptic.


Approval seeking Mulder!!! YEAH RIGHT!! As if he had EVER even seeked Scully's approval and was SCARED of her!! hahaha.. damn farnee how Mulder potrayed himself in HIS version of the story!

Dismissive Scully in Mulder's version! hehehe

Then, they threw in the character of the Sheriff whom Scully is totally swoon by. In her perception he's this really hot looking sheriff and in Mulder's perception, the Sheriff is buck toothed! wuahahah.


Scully: "First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for, I think the figure is $446 million, then you and I both will most certainly be co-defendants. And second of all... I don't even have a second of all, Mulder! $446 million! I'm in this as deep as you are, and I'm not even the one that overreacted! I didn't do the [stabbing motion] with the thing!"

-- Scully's POV--
Sheriff Hartwell: "Lucius Hartwell. You the FBI agents?"
Scully: [Swooned] "Yes... I'm �"
Mulder: "Agents Mulder and, uh... [snaps fingers three times] ...Scully. What do you say we go take a look at your victim." [Mulder heads out the door]
Sheriff Hartwell: "Yeah. By all means. After you."
Mulder: "Come on, Scully, get those little legs moving! Come on."



"Go ahead, tell him your 'theory',"


"Erotic... Yeah."

Mulder: "Your 'satanic cultists' have some sharp little teeth!"
Sheriff Hartwell: "What satanic cultists?"
Mulder: "Go ahead, tell him your [finger quotes] 'theory'."
Scully: "Well my theory has evolved. Basically I think we're looking for someone who's seen one too many Bela Lugosi movies. He believes he is a vampire therefore..."
Sheriff Hartwell: "They act like one. Yeah... yeah... That makes a whole lot of sense. I think she's right."
Mulder: "What about the fang marks?"
Scully: "Well, someone so obsessed might well file down their incisors. I think that a melage casting should help us make an identification."
Sheriff Hartwell: "Melage casting. That's a good idea. Now, isn't there some kind of disease that makes a person think that they're a vampire?"
Scully: "Well, there is a psychological fixation called Haematodypsia which causes the sufferer to gain erotic satisfaction from consuming human blood."
Sheriff Hartwell: "Erotic... Yeah..."
Scully: "There are also genetic afflictions which cause a heightened sensitivity to light, to garlic. Porphyria. Xeroderma Pigmentosum."
Sheriff Hartwell: "You really know your stuff, Dana."

Mulder: [voiceover] "Dana?! He never even knew your first name."
Scully: "You going to interrupt me or what?"
Mulder: "No. You go ahead... Dana..."

Sheriff Hartwell: [replay] "Agent Scully, you really know your stuff."




Mulder: "Scully, we're going to need a complete autopsy on this man. The sooner the better"
Scully: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What am I even looking for?"
[Mulder holds Scully's shoulders and looks seriously into her face]
Mulder: "I... don't.. know..." [He heads out the door]
Scully: [to Sheriff] "He does that."

I loved this scene in the motel room when Mulder comes in and demands scully do another autopsy and Scully's looking all tired... And Scully says sadly that she just put money into the vibrating bed and Mulder's like "I won't let that go to waste!" and jumps onto the bed... Scully then gets off the bed and heads off out of the room. Then she stands at the door TOTALLY DESPONDENT! u can REALLY see the sadness in her face looking at mulder on the bed just LAUGHING away, and poor thing all she can say is "This is my room okay, don't get mud everywhere," wuahahaha...... so pitiful!

Mulder as if laughing at Scully's Misery.... damn jerk lah!

"And this is my room okay.... Don't get mud everywhere," AWWWWWWWW... poor Scully! =(

--- Mulder's Turn---

Scully: "He had big buck teeth?"
Mulder: "He had a... slight overbite."
Scully: "No he didn't... and that's significant...? How?"
Mulder: "I'm just trying to be thorough."



"All for you. I do it all for you, Mulder!"

Scully: "What do you mean you want me to do another autopsy? And why do we have to do it right now? I've just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy, all for you. I do it all for you, Mulder. You know I haven't eaten since six o'clock this morning and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel. And it wasn't even real cream cheese it was light cream cheese. And now you want me to run off and do another autopsy...?" [Scully finally notices that Mulder is covered in mud] "What the hell happened to you?"

hahahah... nuff said!

I also really liked this one scene when after they had discussed and talked their side of their story to each other, they were prepared to go into a meeting with Skinner to discuss the matter... And they're sitting outside there and scully tries to adjust Mulder's tie but he pushes her away. and then she tries to fuss over him but he won't let her. And she keeps telling him "just keep telling him that you were drugged" and Mulder was like "ENOUGH!" and then when skinner calls them the first thing that Mulder proclaims is, "I WAS DRUGGED!"

damn farnee i tell u!!!!!!



[Mulder and Scully are fidgeting in Skinner's waiting room, she fixes his tie and he slaps her hand away]
Scully: "Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged."
Mulder: "Will you stop that!"
Scully: "Couldn't hurt."
Mulder: "Just stop it!"
Skinner: "Scully? Mulder?" [Both agents jump to their feet]
Mulder: "I was drugged!" [Skinner gives them a strange look]
Skinner: "I want you back in Texas. Ronnie Strickland's body's disappeared from the morgue. Apparently in conjunction with this, a coroner's been attacked. His throat was... bitten."
Mulder: "The coroner's dead?"
Skinner: "No, his... throat was bitten... it was sort of... gnawed... on." [Mulder and Scully look at each other and then back at Skinner] "Daylight's burning, Agents!" [Skinner closes his door]
Scully: "What? He was dead!"
Mulder: "I noticed that."
Scully: "With a stake through his heart!"
Mulder: "I noticed that too."

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahah shit man, such brilliant comedy lah! damn!! it's episodes like these that makes X-Files brilliant lah, really.

Brilliant lah BRILLIANT! All i have to say is that JUST WATCH THIS EPISODE!!!!


Folie A Deux

I actually liked this episode for the whole concept of Folie A Deux: a madness shared by two.

And basically it's how mulder comes to see these group of people as zombies and how no one believes him. Mulder even gets put into a psychiatric ward when he attacks a man in Skinner's office... And i loved the conversation Mulder has with scully when she comes to see him in the hospital, strapped up nevertheless.

[Mulder is strapped to a hospital bed]
Mulder: "Five years together Scully. You must have seen this coming."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mulder: "You have to be willing to see."
Scully: "I wish it were that simple."
Mulder: "Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion."


with eyes like that... who wouldn't believe?



And in the end... she DID believe, and she went back and checked out Mulder's story and not just that, i think the beauty of the episode was that she ALSO saw the zombies in the end and came in time to rescue mulder.




I loved the conversation in this last scene when mulder asked scully what she told Skinner in the end and she said "folie a deux" a madness shared by two... and they're standing in the elevator together when she says it... and the door closes on them..

Mulder: "What did you tell him?"
Scully: "The truth, as well as I understand it."
Mulder: "Which is?"
Scully: "'Folie � deux', a madness shared by two."

I thought that was very poignant cause really, the "madness" shared were by Mulder and Scully...

And I thought this was a very nice touch to show the level of partnership between the two just before the Movie was released. Good lead in to the movie, indeed.

Season 6! My FAVOURITE season!!!! Actually i was looking at this site that had the polls and ratings people give to episodes and season, and Season 6 DID have the hightest rating among all the seaons! It just has ALOT ALOT ALOT of very fun episodes that played around alot with the characters...

Lets Start with...


Triangle


Mulder: "You got to rescue it. Wait. Listen to me. This ship's been caught in something called the Devil's Triangle. It's some kind of time warp � a rift in space."
Scully: "Are you crazy?"
Mulder: "You know Einstein, right? He predicts the theoretical possibility. He also predicts an atomic weapon that will destroy the world."
Scully: "Yeah? So what?"
Mulder: "If you don't go back and convince the crew of this ship to turn this ship around and head back into the Devil's Triangle everything Einstein predicted will become true � except for the outcome of history."
Scully: "So, if I don't turn this ship around...?"
Mulder: "In all likelihood, I won't exist."
Scully: "Oh..."
Mulder: "And neither will you."
Scully: "Okay..."
Mulder: "So, in case we never meet again..." [He grabs her and kisses her long and hard, she kisses back. When he releases her, she looks at him for a moment, then pulls back her right fist and punches him in the jaw]
Mulder: "I was expecting a left." [He runs to the railing and climbs over]
Scully: "Hey!" [Mulder jumps overboard]


Ok, this is actually the FIRST episode that we see Mulder and Scully kiss. But we don't really know if it's real or not... Because Mulder gets stuck in the Queen Mary ship back in 1939 when he goes and hunt down the ship in the Bermuda Triangle. So technically, he kissed 1939 Scully, and we don't really know it was real or if Mulder was dreaming it all up, cause the boat he was on got busted into pieces when Scully found him at sea with the GHOST SHIP Queen Mary.

Anyways... But after watching this episode again recently, to me, i don't think the kiss was the best part of this episode actually. To me the scene i love the best actually is the last scene in the hospital bed and Mulder and Scully are talking... And you see Mulder keep poking scully's side trying to convince her they were really in 1939 together, and how she saved the world, etc...

I liked how Chris Carter utilized this feeling of "never seeing each other again" and playing it out in the final scene... Because you can kinda feel that mulder really feels it, the fact that he nearly would never see scully again... and the part i love was when skinner and the lone gunmen leaves. I love Mark Snow's score here with the piano piece playing as the silence die down and it's just Mulder and Scully and the piano...


And mulder pokes scully and tell hers that he would have never seen her again, but she believed him. And Scully says to him "in your dreams mulder" and tells him like a mother to close his eyes and go to sleep and think like there's no place like home.

And then she leaves and then he calls her name and she comes back to his bedside.... Then they look at each other for a really long time and you can see in Mulder's eyes how much he wants to but doesn't dare to say out the words... then he mutters awkwardly, but he says it, "i love you," swallowing his words... And scully rolls her eyes and turns away muttering "oh brother,"


Scully: "Mulder, it's me. Hmm?"
Mulder: "Where am I?"
Scully: "You're in a hospital."
Mulder: "Ooooo."
Scully: "Lie still."
Mulder: "I feel... Like hell."
Scully: "I don't blame you. You've been through the wringer, I'd say."
Mulder: "What happened to me?"
Scully: "You did something incredibly stupid."
Mulder: "What did I do?"
Scully: "You went looking for a ship, Mulder. In the Bermuda Triangle."
Mulder: "Say that again?"
[The Lone Gunmen enter the room]
Frohike: "Gilligan awakes."
Mulder: "You were there."
Scully: "Hmm?"
Mulder: "You were there, Scully."
[Skinner enters the room]
Langly: [to the others] "He's delirious."
Mulder: "And he [Skinner] was there, too."
Skinner: "Right � Me and my dog Toto."
Mulder: "No, you were there with the Nazis."
Scully: "Mulder, will you settle down? It's an order."
Skinner: "Not that he takes orders..."
Mulder: "You saved the world, Scully."
Scully: "Yeah... You're right. I did."
Frohike: "What kind of drugs is he on?"
Langly: "I want some."
Mulder: "No, no, no... The Queen Anne � I found it. You were there with Thor's Hammer. I told you you had to turn the ship around and then I jumped overboard.
Scully: "Yeah, I bet you did. The boat that you were on was busted into a million pieces. And as for the Queen Anne it was nothing more than a ghost ship."
Mulder: "No, no, no. You and I were on that ship, Scully. In 1939."
Skinner: "Get some rest, Mulder, 'cause when you get out of here I'm going to kick your butt but good." [Skinner and the Lone Gunmen leave the room]
[here begins a really sweet scene enhanched by a piano piece by Mark Snow, between Mulder and Scully as room goes silent and Mulder speaks to Scully in a hush whisper, as everybody leaves, he's just eager to tell her... ]
Mulder: "I would've never seen you again. But you believed me."
Scully: "In your dreams. Mulder, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think to yourself 'There's no place like home'."
Mulder: "Mmm. [Scully starts to leave, but he calls her back] "Hey, Scully."
Scully: "Yes?"
[They look at each other, VERY long pause]


Mulder: "I love you."
Scully: "Oh, brother..." [She turns away and leaves the room]


"oh, brother"

wuahahahahaha. BRILLIANT lah BRILLIANT!


Dreamland 1 and 2

Mulder and this other guy Morris Fletcher switch bodies and Mulder is stuck with Morris Flectcher's body while Fletcher is in Mulder's bodies due to some UFO crash.
So Mulder has to convince Scully it's him and all that stuff, and Scully does realize in the end that Mulder is not Mulder but Morris...

But the scene i love the most in Dreamland 2 was the scene after she finds out from the Lone Gunmen that they might not be able to get Mulder back to his own body again... She goes and meets Mulder at night in the desert to tell him the news and you can really see the pain in them...
And damn i love the end of that scene when Scully leaves and Mulder calls her back.. He holds out his hand and she holds out his and he puts a handful of sunflower seed in her hands. and then takes a seed from her hand and bites it and then she turns to leave and he watches her go despondently....

Ouh man.... only Chris Carter, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson can pull off making SUNFLOWER SEEDS into something so bittersweet farewell.. and really push to home how much they have to lose.... ouh mannnn.... Ok as bg info, this is cause Mulder loves biting and eating sunflower seeds all throughout the series since season 1 episode 1 actually... AHHHHHHHHHH great lah great!




MULDER AS MORRIS: You don't look too happy. Don't tell me I'm going to have to put two kids through school.
SCULLY: (hesitantly) That is you in there, Mulder, isn't it?
(MULDER nods.)
SCULLY: (hugging herself) I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.
MULDER AS MORRIS: And how do I get back?
SCULLY: (not easy for her to say) Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...
MULDER AS MORRIS: I might wind up with my head in a rock.
SCULLY: Something like that, yeah.
(Long pause.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: (depressed) What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.
SCULLY: Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.
MULDER AS MORRIS: What do you mean, "just tagging along"?
SCULLY: I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.
MULDER AS MORRIS: No. You can explain it to them like you explained it to me. You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.
(SCULLY looks at him with affection. His response was completely different from MORRIS' fake sympathy when she told him.)
SCULLY: I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly.
(MULDER smiles at her and nods.)
( MORRIS honks the horn at them.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (yelling out the window) Take a picture-- it'll last longer.
(MULDER and SCULLY pause a moment as they look over at the car.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: (through clenched teeth) If I... shoot him is that murder or suicide?
SCULLY: Neither, if I do it first.
(SCULLY squeezes his arm in farewell, then walks toward the car. MULDER stops her.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Hey, Scully...



(MULDER holds out his closed hand to her. She holds out her palm. He pours a handful of sunflower seeds into her hand, then takes one back and puts it in his mouth. They look at each other. MULDER sadly watches as SCULLY gets in the car and it drives away.)


How the Ghost Stole Christmas.

I loved this episdoe because it explores Mulder and Scully's psyche... Basically Mulder goes ghost busting on Christmas Eve and Scully is hessitant to follow him but she does in the end cause somehow she can't find her car keys... Anyways, the house is cursed with two ghost who had once killed themselves in a lover's pact and then Mulder and Scully gets seperated and is "haunted" by the ghosts who play around with their minds.

Anyways I love this episode how Scully is partially there because she wants to be there, yet not willing to admit it. I love how Scully is DAMNNNNNNNNN spooked out the whole episode!!!

I also like the interaction btw the characters in this episode. For SOME reason, this season, they were really relaxed and comfortable with each other, really like friends, you know. Sure they still always, always disagree with each other, but not like slitting each other's throat (like in season 3 and 4) or constantly a pain the ass for the other person. Instead, you know, you see how they CAN and DO get along and enjoy each other despite the difference because... yeah man, their world IS small, and they really have no life besides the X-Files and well, each other.


Loved this part!!!! Mulder spooks Scully!!!


"FEDERAL AGENT, I'M ARMED! I said I'M ARMED!"


I loved this scene, i felt the image was so powerful and poignant. Cause you have mulder and scully lying on the floor and bleeding to death and they're trying to crawl out of the house. Then you have the song Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas playing in b.g. and the dying agents pulling their guns at each other. I loved the image man, it was sooooooooooooooo wrong, the ironic iconic shot. Loved the juxtaposition. loved it.




Scully: "Mulder... None of that really happened out there tonight... That was all in our heads, right?"
Mulder: "It must have been."
Scully: "Mmm. Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong."
Mulder: "When have you proved me wrong?"
Scully: "Well... Why else would you want me out there with you?"
Mulder: "You didn't want to be there? Oh, that's, um... That's self-righteous and... narcissistic of me to say, isn't it?"
Scully: "No, I mean... Maybe I did want to be out there with you."
Mulder: "Now, um... I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts but, uh... I got you... a little something."
Scully: "Mulder..."
Mulder: "Merry Christmas."
Scully: "Well, I got you a little something, too."


Rain King

Mulder: "And whatever it is, you got to let it out."
Holman Hardt: "I can't."
Mulder: "Yeah, you can. It's Sheila, isn't it? You love her. You've always loved her. That, uh, tornado at the high school... that was you, wasn't it?"
Holman Hardt: "The night of our senior prom, I, uh... accidentally stumbled upon her and her boyfriend... in flagrante delicto. And the next thing you know..."
Mulder: "And you've never told her the way you feel?"
Holman Hardt: "How can a frog tell a swan that he loves her?"
Mulder: "Well, you better tell her or you're going to kill somebody."
Holman Hardt: "Well, you got to help me."
Mulder: "I got a plane to catch."
Holman Hardt: "You can't go. If you don't help me, who will?"
Mulder: "I am meeting my partner at the airport." [Mulder's phone rings] "Excuse me. Hold on." [answering mobile phone] "Mulder."
Scully: "Mulder, it's me."
Mulder: "I'm on my way."
Scully: "I'm not so sure. Have you looked outside lately? It's pea soup. Our plane can't take off until after this fog lifts."
Mulder: "Fog? Holman!" [Holman Hardt shrugs]
Scully: "Holman?"
Mulder: "Yeah... he wants advice. Dating advice."
Scully: "Dating advice? From whom?"
Mulder: "Yours truly. Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?"
Scully: "I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?"
Mulder: "I will talk to you later." [He hangs up]
Scully: "The blind leading the blind."

Holman Hardt: "I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I'd assumed you were... more experienced. I mean... you spend every day with Agent Scully a beautiful, enchanting woman. And you two never, uh...? I... confess I find that shocking. I... I've seen how you two gaze at one another."
Mulder: "This is about you, Holman. I'm here to help you. I'm perfectly happy with my friendship with Agent Scully."
Holman Hardt: "So according to your theory I walk in there, tell her I love her and the drought will end?"
Mulder: "Just tell her how you feel. And Holman... I do not gaze at Scully."



"What-?!"

Scully: "Sheila... my partner has a theory and even though I don't share his belief I feel that, given the circumstances you should hear his theory because it involves you and Holman. Agent Mulder believes that the drought, this storm, these bizarre set of weather conditions that have plagued you over the years are... are caused by Holman. Specifically, that... that his emotions are somehow manifesting themselves in the weather and Agent Mulder believes that Holman is... unwittingly destroying this town because of his unspoken love for you."
Sheila Fontaine: "You love him, don't you?"
Scully: "What?"
Sheila Fontaine: "You're jealous because Agent Mulder and I have a special connection and you're trying to divert me to Holman."
Scully: "What?"


Sheila Fontaine: "I just never thought of Holman that way, you know. He's my closest friend. And to not even suspect..."
Scully: "Well, it seems to me that the best relationships � the ones that last � are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. "

No shit, Scully, no shit!


The Unnatural.

Written and Directed by David Duchovny and it was a BRILLIANT one indeed! You know not only can he act comedy, he can REALLY write comedic parts!

I love the first scene between Mulder and Scully. AGAIN, another thing that has not been done much in seasons past is actually to make them enjoy being around each other and actually being friends, you know, and this opening scene really plays that part really well!


Scully: "Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?"
Mulder: "I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere. Did you bring enough ice cream to share with the rest of the class?"
Scully: "It's not ice cream. It's a non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicle."
Mulder: "Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully."
Scully: "Oh, you're Mr Live-it-up. Mulder, you're really Mr Squeeze-every-last-drop-out-of-this-sweet-life, aren't you? On this precious Saturday you've got us grabbing life by the testes, stealing reference books from the FBI library in order to go through New Mexico newspaper obituaries for the years 1940 to 1949, and for what joyful purpose?"
Mulder: "Looking for anomalies, Scully. Do you know how many so-called 'flying disc' reports there were in New Mexico in the 1940s?"
Scully: "I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie."
Mulder: "No, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration."
Scully: "Necessity is the mother of invention."
Mulder: "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
Scully: "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die."
Mulder: "I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicles." [Mulder sets down his book and lunges at Scully, taking a bite out of her psuedo-ice cream]
Scully: [laughing] "No! Mulder!" [She looks at the book Mulder was reading] "Mulder!? You cheat. I can't believe that you've been reading about baseball this whole time."
Mulder: "I'm reading the box scores, Scully. You'd like it. It's like the Pythagorean Theorem for jocks. It distills all the chaos and action of any game in the history of all baseball games into one tiny, perfect, rectangular sequence of numbers. I can look at this box and I can recreate exactly what happened on some sunny summer day back in 1947. It's like the numbers talk to me, they comfort me. They tell me that even though lots of things can change some things do remain the same. It's..."
Scully: "Boring. Mulder, can I ask you a personal question?"
Mulder: "Of course not."
Scully: "Did your mother ever tell you to go outside and play?"
[Mulder notices a picture in the book of two white men and a black man standing in front of an old bus with 'Roswell Grays' on the side. One of the white men is the Bounty Hunter. The headline is; 'Local Roswell police officer Arthur Dales chats with Diamond Star Josh Exley']
Mulder: "Is that... Arthur... Dales..."
Scully: "Mulder?"
Mulder: "Ah... Choo!" [He fakes a sneeze as he rips the page out of the book]
Scully: "You just defaced property of the US Government." [Mulder takes the page and leaves the office] "You rebel."



And then there was this alien scene.......... ouh man BRILLIANT! Basically it's about this cop who is sent to protect this black baseball player back in the 50s back in the deep south. And so, the baseball player is actually an alien and it's this scene where the cop breaks into the room to check on the baseball player and then he sees the alien instead and screams, and the alien ALSO screams, and then the cop faints.. wuahahah damn brilliant lah, u have to watch this scene to get it.


And of course... there the last baseball scene between mulder and scully that was just well, classic lah... A rare gem that will never be repeated in the X-Files when it comes to Mulder and Scully just having a fun time (and no one's having cancer, or have a family member dying, or monster chasing them).



Scully: "So, uh... I get this message marked 'urgent' on my answering service from one Fox Mantle, telling me to come down to the park for a very special, very early or very late birthday present. And, Mulder... I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around so, what gives?"
Mulder: "You've never hit a baseball, have you, Scully?"
Scully: "No, I guess I have, uh... found more necessary things to do with my time than... slap a piece of horsehide with a stick."
Mulder: "Get over here, Scully." [Mulder hands Scully the bat, then steps behind her and wraps his arms around her tightly, also holding the bat around her hands]
Scully: "This my birthday present, Mulder? You shouldn't have.
Mulder: "This ain't cheap. I'm paying that kid ten bucks an hour to shag balls. That's not a bad piece of ash, huh? The bat � talking about the bat. Now, don't strangle it. You just want to shake hands with it. 'Hello, Mr Bat. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.' 'Oh, no, no, Miss Scully. The pleasure's all mine.' Okay, now, we want to... we want to go hips before hands, okay? We want to stride forward and turn. That's all we're thinking about. So, we go hips... before hands, all right?"
Scully: "Okay."
Mulder: "One more time. Hips... before hands, all right?"
Scully: "Yeah."
Mulder: "What is it?"
Scully: "Hips before hands."
Mulder: "Right. We're going to wait on the pitch. We're going to keep our eye on the ball. Then, we're just going to make contact. We're not going to think. We're just going to let it fly, Scully, okay?"
Scully: "Mm-hmm."
Mulder: "Ready?"
Scully: "I'm in the middle."
Mulder: "All right, fire away, Poorboy." [They hit a foul] "Ooh! That's good. All right, what you may find is you concentrate on hitting that little ball..." [They hit the ball again] "The rest of the world just fades away � all your everyday, nagging concerns. The ticking of your biological clock." [Another hit] "How you probably couldn't afford that nice, new suede coat on a G-Woman's salary. How you threw away a promising career in medicine..." [Another hit] "To hunt aliens with a crackpot, albeit brilliant, partner. Getting into the heart of a global conspiracy." [Another hit] "Your obscenely overdue triple-X bill. Oh, I... I'm sorry, Scully." [Another hit] "Those last two problems are mine, not yours." [Another hit]
Scully: "Shut up, Mulder. I'm playing baseball."


Arcadia.



Mulder and Scully going undercover as husband and wife in Suburbia California.. haha...

You get the Mulder loaded with sexual innuedo and Scully being all awkward about it!!! hahha... like a scene where mulder keeps holding Scully's arm and she's just like patting his hand as if to hint to him to LET GO... And then they go for dinner with a neighbor and when she leaves with the neighbor's wife to walk the dog, he motions for a kiss and Scully gives him a kiss in the air... DAmn funny lah when David Duchovny plays it comedic!



Scully: "Local PD came up blank on..." [Mulder throws his sweatshirt across the room] "Mike Raskub. No activity on his credit cards. No sighting of his '97 Mercury Villager."
Mulder: "Yeah, there's no sign of him at his house. I didn't see him in the storm drain either. I take it he's dead, Scully."
Scully: "'Laura'. Win Shroeder?"
Mulder: "Mmm, maybe Win cleaning up."
Scully: "Cleaning up for who?"
Mulder: "Don't know."
Scully: "Mulder, speaking of cleaning up, whoever taught you how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste?"
Mulder: "Hey, what do we know about this stuff?"
Scully: "I'm driving down to San Diego tomorrow and have it analyzed."
Mulder: "All right."
Scully: "Third warning. Toilet seat." [Mulder sprawls on the bed] "Why kill Big Mike?" [She walks out of the bathroom with her face covered in a bright green mud mask]
Mulder: "Oh!"
Scully: "What's missing here is intent. What would be the motive?" [She throws the sweatshirt at his head]
Mulder: "Compulsive neatness, or lack thereof. Have you noticed how everybody around here is obsessed with the neighborhood rules and the CC&Rs? You know what? You fit in really well here."
Scully: "And you don't."
Mulder: "Well, anyway, tomorrow I got a, uh, surefire way of testing out my theory." [He pats the bed beside him and waggles his eyebrows at her] "Come on, Laura, you know... we're married now."
Scully: "Scully, Mulder. Good night."
Mulder: "The thrill is gone." [Heading out with a pillow]


Field Trip.

I actually liked Field Trip alot. Mulder and Scully gets sucked into this magic musroom trap and starts hallucinating to keep them pacified while this giant organism digested them...
But it was because of the element of their personalities that always contradicted each other that broke them out of the hallucination and made them realized they were hallucinating and trapped.
That when Scully started agreeing with Mulder's theory and proof of the alien and said that "no, Mulder, you're right" and didn't come back with a scientific or a need for a scientific explanation, Mulder realized that something was WRONG.
And for Scully, when the world started agreeing with all her theories, she found herself thinking what about the ALTERNATE explanation that mulder always came up with that MIGHT actually work, and why was everyone going along with her theory?

And it was because of their very well established relationship of discord that got them to see past the hallucination.

I like this episode in how it established in this episode how much though they have fought and disagreed with each other to the point of rolling eyes, frustration on both parts, PULLING GUNS on each other more than THRICE, but yet, after six years (or six seasons) of being with each other, they have come to be DEPENDENT on the other for the EXACT things that they cannot agree with each other with..

It was great that the writer established this in this Second last episode of a wonderful season taht explored alot of their partnership and friendship with each other.

I really liked how they ended this episode because throughout the begining of the episode before they went into hallucination, the both of them were fighting as usual, mulder being a believer in everything and scully just being reluctant to accept his theories and Mulder being really frustrated at that...

And then they go through the whole halluciation where ALL their point of views are suddenly agreed upon and they see past it only through knowing each other very well and knowing each other so well to know that the other will not be so easily and eagerly and simply accept the explanation.


And then take all these, at the end of the episode when Scully and Mulder are pulled from the dirt and from being digested alive, and they're placed into the truck. Almost dead, mulder holds out his hand towards scully who's lying also barely alive next to him.



But without looking, she lifts her hands and places it in his, and they're just holding hands and they look at each other with that look that knows that it their difference that saved them...



Beautiful lah, beautiful! I guess, maybe you do need to see the whole episode and know how shitty Mulder and Scully's bickering with each other can be (and how sometimes you really wanna slap one of them) to appreciate how beautifully it is because of this fact that really saves them in the end...

I really love those episodes like Bad Blood and this episode where they focus in on their differences, but don't bend them till they break (like they did in many of the episodes in Season 3, annoying i tell you), but actually show how it's this difference that saves them in the end... that the other really is, well, not complete, with the other-- always contradicting, always questioning.