well i gave ryota the letter, and then i saw him again later (like around 6)... no reaction.
he's breaking my heart so much... i don't know... i just feel like sleeping. i have to go get that hotel in fukuoka and tokyo yet i'm not cause i am really depressed.
i want to hate you so bad but i can't.
i actually feel like dying because for once... like... i can't do anything anymore. and all that i did do didn't even end up doing anything. it's not even like sway him or whatever i don't care about that reaction. i just want some SORT of reaction you know, that's all, because i hate it when i can't do anything...
and i guess pirre is right, that i have done all i can and now it's up to him to do something... but it's just that i...
nothing...
betsuni.
i guess i just do like having him around thats all, and i do like how he is and i just think... that.... he's just really a fun person to be with when i am with him, that's all... and i guess i miss that... even like, meeting him for that 5 minutes... and just.... having him there, and we could talk and joke.... it was nice you know, it was really, really nice.... and i just like that feeling with him... and i just hope that it won't end that's all....
nothing gold can stay.
i should have known better that anything, or everything good, will always one day end. i should have anticipated this. but i did not and now...
and now...
this is how i feel.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
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