ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

So anyway... I realized that exactly today I've been back from the States for a year... how depressing, and how completely wasted that year has been!

I don't want to talk about how that feels because it's probably gonna make me depress. So i suppose, it's better to just sweep it under the rug and live abit in denial.

I put the ipod on shuffle again yesterday, I've not done that for almost a month... and I realize that I've not heard any English songs for a month... =_=.... But seems like in that 1 month, the songs all sound so fresh again! haha...

So anyway, I promised some friends I'd send them some Lunkhead songs... But i ended up making a mix of songs from bands I loved while I was in the States, namely Taking Back Sunday..... hahaha.... with throw-ins from Saves The Day, Brand New, hellogoodbye, blink 182, +44, Zolof and the Rock Destroyer, Thursday, Days Away, Something Corporate, Jack's Mannequin, Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, Northstar, Finch.

I know I missed out alot alot alot alot of other bands like NFG, TSL, Senses Fail, Straylight Run, Mae, watashi wa, endor, Fall Out Boy, MOVIELIFE!!!!!!!!, The Used.... who else... that meant alot of me too....

And I also left out ALL the japanese bands and jpop singers I listened to alot while I was there.....

I guess, besides semesters painting the periods of my life in America, music marked alot of those phases too... In fact I think most of my memories of America would probably be tied to a song, a playlist of songs, a band or show.

So... music can't be extracted from my memories of America and what it was at that time...

Taking Back Sunday in the whole first year with puncutations from Northstar in the Summer of 03, and then Thursday in the Fall of 03 around August when mom came to visit. Saves the Day and Brand New came around November 03... Then I fell in love with Japan hahaha... damn.

So i guess my memories of America can't be extracted from the likes of The Pillows, Asian Kung Fu Generation (Spring 05), SPITZ (Fall - Winter 05), Plastic Tree (Spring - Fall 06)... I guess even right NOW when Hotaru by SPITZ is playing on my iPod, I still can remember the passing scene from the train from Back Bay in Boston to Framingham...

So that's that... One year.... Not one year back in Malaysia, but more, really, one year gone from America... quite a.... terrible.. feeling... really.

Here's The MIX.


Despair could ravage you if yo turn your head around
to look down the path that's lead you here, cause what can you change?
You're a vessel now floating down the waterways.
You can take your rudder and aim your ship,
just don't bother with the things left in your wake.
Just sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping your back.
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that you have
and your love will be warm nights with pockets of moonlight
spotlighting you as you drift, the actor in this play.
You walk across the stage, take a bow, hear the applause,
and as the curtain falls, just know you did it all
the best that you knew how and you can hear them cheering now.
So let a smile out and show your teeth cause you know you lived it well.

Elaine
-This is Not an Exit-