ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

goodbye is not forever
goodbye is not the end
they simply mean I'll miss you, until we meet again.

i don't know but i find that hard to believe
right now anyway

my fren, u need to learn how to let go something in our life..
holding it tight, doesn't mean it will stay there...

you know...
i think
i dunno
maybe you haven't stood at the point today
i don't believe that goodbyes are not forever
coz.... even if you meet that person again
circumstances will be different
as i cannot resume the life i left in malaysia 4 years ago
i cannot resume the life i had here, 4 years later

this is wat u imagine

i don't know how to say what i feel
right now
because
it's the feeling of... not of not being able to let go
but crying
because you are letting go
and you miss it already
at the moemnt of its release
it's like... i dunno how to describe it to you
but...
today i was at my host family's place
and i gave them a present and we were just standing there at their living room
and it just felt as if it was just yesterday that i came
it was the oddest feelings ever
like nothing had changed
but yet... it's been 4 years you know
and this was goodbye. even though you felt as if that first hello was just moments ago.


-----

i think the hardest farewell yet, was the farewell to the Zeiers today.

I was at their house and we were there just like before... Like when we first met. Everything was the same you know, how the way the house looked and smelt and was like. The dogs were the same. And we did things all the same, eating dinner and drinks at the drinks dispenser.

and i still remember very clearly, you know that first moment when i first got there. It was football sundays and I remember Cheryl and the family were all watching football on the TV and I walked in with Aunt Mei, and Ed and Cheryl came to greet me and the doggies Lucy and Angel were there barking. ANd I remember Steven coming to say Hi, and Jordan and Andrew...

Everything was the same today, and i could still remember the smells and the memories of that first day and those first few weeks so very clearly like it was just yesterday, you know... But yet, But yet... a lifetime has passed you know... A lifetime..... it really has been that, you know, a lifetime: the friends I've met, the stories I've heard, the shows I've been to, the places I've seen, the bands I've got to meet and know, the dreams I've had come true, the places, the people, the lives, the culture, America, you know... the whole damn package... and it has been a lifetime.

and hugging Cheryl saying goodbye... it felt as if it was almost just yesterday that i came.

farewell, America. you know. it has been great. it has been one hell of a lifetime. and... I have no regrets and I have no bitter memories. It's like everything about America is turning into this great shade of gold as depature approach.... and I loved it here... And I love the life i had lived here... I loved it. I really do- every one i met, every experience I've had, every place I got to see, every place I had been, every encounter, every story, every memory.... it's been awesome... and... i love it all... I miss it all already...

elaine
10/16/06
Chatsworth, CA 91311

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LUNKHEAD

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The Moon and your hand
Lunkhead

It�s already so late
The moon is so high up there
You should be feeling sleepy by now
But
The shower of the stars and the night wind makes your cheek the color of cherry blossom.
Your happy voice, your excited breath
Two shadows made by street lights

Let�s hold hands and go home
Even it�s April, it�s still cold at night
I don�t want you to catch a cold
Let�s hurry up a little.

There are so many things I want to talk about with you,
But none of them are coming out of my mouth
So I hold your hand stronger

The town we look down from the light house is filled with as many bright lives as windows
Perhaps everyone wants to be a little bit happier than other people

Let�s hold hands and go home
Even it�s April, today is especially cold
I don�t want you to catch a cold

When we get home holding hands
Let�s drink a cup of warm milk
We can make it a bit sweet so you can have a nice dream in this still long night.

Someday, your hand will make someone else happy
I will say farewell
Holding hands

--- MANY MANY thanks to Norika for the translation *BIG HUGS*---

This is simply another AMAZING song by Lunkhead... And I'm not just saying that because I like Lunkhead. I think this song is like solid. It's been on loop on my ipod and it's really been the soundtrack towards home in these final days in America...

Simply sad and beautiful...

I have a music video in my head for this song (before i got the translation)...

I imagine two people by the beach, and it's a partially cloudy day. It's a parting scene, and it's like a final goodbye between the guy and the girl... The circumstance between them is like, they know they love each other but for some reason they just can't be with each other, like the guy was probably gonna marry someone else or something...

The girl is squatting down by the water's edge and the guy is looking at her in the pale light.... And seeing her in the soft light and slight breeze he is just overwhelmed thinking "damn she's beautiful!" But they say nothing to each other although the weight of words unspoken hangs in the air between them... Somehow... they just know...

He wants to say something to her but he hessitates and he doesn't know how to say it to her because there's so many things he want to say and explain and just... tell her... ... And there's this flower by the water where she is and she picks the flower and gets up and walks to him...

She holds the flower to him and says "The flower is pretty but one day it will wither and die,"
She looks up to him and their gaze meet and he holds his hand out to brush her cheek and she smiles palely... not a happy smile but just a pale smile that seems to convey a sense of acceptance of the way life goes... and he too smiles sadly and sofly at her...

Then they turn around and hold hands and walk away...

SO! that's my Music Video inspired when i listen to this song... haha :)

Anyway, it's a really sweet and sad and beautiful song... please check it out :)

Please check out the song here.


-cross-posted to http://purakisuki.exblog.jp

this is crap.

i want to go shopping the wednesday i reach malaysia but i realize, i have no one to go hang out with to go shopping.

what the hell.

fuck.

but someday I will be able to forget, it's sad but I will survive..


I always told myself that this is a phase in your life elaine, a phase and a time in your life... and that's what it is. That even if you came back, even if you stayed, even if you came back, it wouldn't be the same. Because this is the phase, and once it's gone and the time and arrangements have passed, that was it. it's over. and the feelings and the moment and the arrangement of it all can never be repeated or duplicated or replayed again like how it was because it's a phase and when it's gone, it's gone.

it's a little sad to think of it that way, but, somehow, thinking that way gives me a certain strength to move on knowing that this time is ending, and i want to believe that this was the expiration date, and it didn't mattered if i stayed or not.... it still would not be the same because this is a phase and this phase is gone.

that is what i want to believe.

and that is what gives me strength to move on.

life is long right? and the world is wide...

and i hope there will be other chapters in my life....

and i am looking forward to that.

as I had longed to leave Malaysia since I was 14 with the belief that life is more than the confines of the four walls of my room, I will still believe in that that, and I hope i will fight to leave once again, still with the believe that the world is wide and life is long and there is more to this world than the four walls of my room as i had believed all those years ago when i was 14.


Professor Wall said to me today as her parting words to me: "Elaine don't sell out. Be yourself. Don't change who you are. Be bad."

funny coming from a professor who knows the amount of CLASSES i've SKIPPED! and assignments I've botched! Damn, Dr. Wall, do you REALLY believe that is actually good for me??? :S

elaine
-plastic umbrella and i mean ?????-

ahhh whatever, lets just go home.

went out lots with friends.


Saturday/Sunday:

Norika and Josh in Pasedena..... I forgot what I did on Saturday with Norika... Oh... I think i went to get a haircut haha..






Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday: 10 days to Home

Dragon and Elaine in LA and San Francisco





More SF/LA pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/elaineloh/LosAngelesAndSanFrancisco


Sunday:

Luis/Joanna/Michelle + Jessica - California Kitchen Pizza and..... WALMART!





SHOPPING AT WALMART!


Monday: One week to Homecoming

In-and-Out with Michelle yo!!! ANIMAL FRIES ARE AWESOMEEEEEEE~~~~






Final Tuesday:

Denny's with Carin~~


My USUAL Denny's meal..... Chicken Fried Steak and Hot Chocolate.... YUMM~~~



Halloween Shopping yo!







Hmmmm can i say that? I rather be here hanging out with you than be back home... I don't know... I don't want to go back home.

I was sitting at home the other day and i felt I would so rather hang out with them over here than any friends at home.... except Ching Mun and Debby maybe cause i miss hanging out with them alot... But really...

Today... part of me, I'm sort of excited to go home cause I want to go Shopping... But i wish i was going back home just for a holiday and not for good....

I MISS YOU ALLL!! I love you all.... and I'll always miss you more when I'm gone :(

Ok, i suppose it's long overdue for me to write about this band but I love this band... Hmm haha... I definitely love their slow songs, they're just awesome... I'm not too sure about buying all their albums yet because I don't quite like their faster songs as much BUTTTTTTTTT DAMN THIS BAND, when there IS a song that I like, the song is just ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!! I just love it to the max and think this band is like LOADED!! Absolutely BRilliant! Fantastic! Amazing! One of those songs that make you breathless!

anyway, here's a really sweet PV of their latest single... Natsu no Nioi (The Scent of Summer)... Amazing song too!



Here are the Lunkhead songs I totally love...

of course...

- Komorebi - My favvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv needless to say!

- Hakudaku

- Tsuki no Tenohira

- Natsu no Nioi


The ONE thing i HATEEE about liking this band is that I CAN'T UNDERSTAND JAPANESE. Unlike Plastic Tree, it's REALLY hard to find any sort of English material for this band. It's not just that but it's just frustrating cause i really want to know what they're singing and I can't even find the Kanji lyrics to the songs to translate!!! arghhhh >___< maybe it's cause i'm terrible at searching for stuff in Japanese.... sighhhh....




This is the Natsu no Nioi single. I think this picture of the girl in the yukata is simply so sweet and beautiful... don't you think??


cross-posted to http://purakisuki.exblog.jp

YAYYYYYYY~~~

My second attempt at Icon Making!!!

Here's Plastic Tree ^^



Here are the original pics:

http://picasaweb.google.com/elaineloh/Puraki


cross-posted to http://purakisuki.exblog.jp

Uploaded these for Kelvin.... so might as well put it up too :)

Plastic Tree

These are some of my most favourite PT songs ^^

Aoi Tori - http://www.sendspace.com/file/3ve8nn
Cage For Rent - http://www.sendspace.com/file/yhoolf
San Bika - http://www.sendspace.com/file/yhoolf
Gerbera - http://www.sendspace.com/file/6fsp84
Mizuiro Girlfriend - http://www.sendspace.com/file/4otd8l
Seiza Zukuri - http://www.sendspace.com/file/84zmcf
Nukegara - http://www.sendspace.com/file/dv6zrq
Moshimo Piano ga Heiketanara - http://www.sendspace.com/file/uzq57v
Harusaki Sentimental - http://www.sendspace.com/file/1kqb1c
Yume no Shima - http://www.sendspace.com/file/w95gs9

Lunkhead

KOMOREBI IS EXCELLENT!!! And i've forgotten how much I liked Hakudaku!!!!

Komorebi - http://www.sendspace.com/file/w95gs9
Hakudaku - http://www.sendspace.com/file/h7o6va


Please enjoy :)


cross-posted to http://purakisuki.exblog.jp