ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted all the time


So i was at the Intel Conference today, suppose to be learning abt Dual Core Processors and also Intel Wireless Mobile Technology, but i had a notepad, a pen and half a brain tuning in and out of the presentation, so naturally my thought drifted to.......... Nigel.

I wanted to ask myself why i liked him. And why i still do perhaps. But i found that it's not a question i can answer and it's not a question that should be asked.

Unlike Elaine Teh with the secret silent love of her life Young, i cannot list out in bullet points from 1 till a hundred as to why Nigel is DA guy. In fact, unlike Elaine Teh thinks how Young is 90% of her dream guy, Nigel is not to me, but it's nothing on his part, it's more because i am a very indecisive girl and also it seems that this days, really, anything goes.

It's not a question that i can answer nor is it a question to be asked because, i like Nigel just because I do.

Even at the very begining, i liked him cause i liked him and maybe i liked him more because i had hope he liked me too (but we all know how terribly WRONG elaine ALWAYS is abt that!) but truth is that, although i don't know why i like him but i just knew even back then, that i did. i just know that this feeling is here and he can make me feel really happy and he can make me incredibly sad if not depressed, just by the little words he says or the littlest things that he does.

And these days, i don't want to go on picking on points and trying to get to know nigel more just to find stuff i like about him. Like I told karen, stick nigel in a skirt and i'd still think he's cute, and i WILL still like him.

I can tell you qualities that i like in Nigel that i think makes him really wonderful, and i can tell you things abt nigel that i've come to know that i really like in him but it would be a partial lie if i told you those were the reasons why i like him... Those are just reasons that enhances my feelings towards him but i don't think that they are in any way reasons as to why i like him.

It's because when i first like him, i just did, you know, i liked him as he was. I wasn't totally stricken with awwwwe when i first met him, no, i don't think i was, but it's just that, nigel was nigel and the way he was just there and how he smiled and talked and walked around that day and was with dez. the quietness to him and just the sense of him that drew me in.

I don't regret anything i did, not even KLIA, i regretted that i never took godma and dez and nigel's position BETTER and more thought more thoroughly about it, but sometimes, the more i think about it, i don't regret going to KLIA at all because at least, i saw him that one more time...

and i wish i could have held on to him a little longer that night...

nigel.