ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

Ryota-kun,

The other time when we were talking about relationships and all that and i told you about how if i had a boyfriend, i dont' really want him to be around all the time or i feel he can go do anything he wants, just that he should be there for me when i need him...
Well... truth is that, you said you are confused with me, heh, truth is that, i am also confuse with me....
You know in my heart...what i really want is for a guy to really like me and want to be with me and thinks i am special... and i want to take care of the guy and make sure he is happy as much as possible and make him feel special in my heart...


Anyway, before i got to spend time with you, i was always conscious of the japanese friends i have. It's abit shitty and i think it's bad that there are people who do go out, like hunting, you know!! to look for japanese people to be friends with, like japanese are a novelty prize or something... I think that's not good because it devalues the person... it's like "do you want to be my friend because of where i come from or because of who i am??"

But you know... you changed all that for me.

I like the time with you because you're a very fun person to be with. Although we're learning japanese but i see you as a person, and not as japanese, you know waht i mean???

I feel that is because, you are really a fun person to be with... really. I like the way you smile at jokes, and i like the way you laugh and how you smile after that. or how you do the things you do like how you like to draw stuff and keep writing what is being said on the paper, i think that is so cute. ALTHOUGH, i don't know if you'd like to be called cute!! I also think that though the real Ryota is honest and MEANNNNNNN, i also think that the real ryota also has a very friendly, open, PATIENT, and funny personality that makes it fun to be around you.

I don't know you well, and maybe i won't have/be given, the chance to know you well. but i just want to say that i think you're a very fun guy to be around and you definitely make people happy... i think!!!!!

Well... like i said, i guess... i just want to tell you this because i feel it strongly in my heart and so i HAVE TO tell it to u. hehe. I don't want anything from you that u are unwilling to give but i'm really glad that we could be friends because there are things that you do sometimes that makes me smile.

Ryota's kanji for his name... He doesn't know what his name means... what the hell... He said "you have to ask my mom!!" and i'm like "WHAT?!" Well aparently he doesn't know the kanji to the first part of his name... "fuji" and also "ryou" parts of his name.... But but but... the two other parts "moto" and "ta".... I CAN WRITE THE KANJI! wuahahahahah.... ^^ OK OK so it's damn simple... SO WHAT?!

So anyways, i am obsessive... he even said so... he said stalker... wuahahahaha... it's like "damn how did u know abt Eiji" and erm.... David is right, if any of them perchance upon this page, i'm screwed.... and APPARENTLY, one of my friend searched for the Japanese Student Association Party thing and he found my page......... So THAT'S scary!

Well anyway... i know i am thinking abt Ryota alot but i've been feeling "less" happy(???) thingy towards him... It's like i know i should expect too much for him to keep replying my email right? I guess i do and i guess he's right that i'm abit crazy that way but then again, he's a typical (less sensitive) guy and i happen to be a typical (ultra) sensitive girl.... *sigh*

so yeah, i'm not gonna email him till tuesday next week.... no? Raishuu no kayoubi.... *sigh*

this japanese band is so good but i think they mess it up singing in english that don't make sense... I think they can kick ass if they can get the lyrics straight or do it in japanese or part japanese and part english... i think it'd be cool if they could do verses in english and chorus in Japanese.. then it makes all those americans who are japanese junkies get hooked while at the same time attracting the japanese who are american/english junkies...... NO????????? yeap, i shud be a producer sometimes i tell ya! Or marketing manager ;)

well changed blog design... too lazy to redesign cause well... my hard disk got wiped out by half and also well, i dun quite have the time and the motivation.

Well it's all black and white this time cause i am depressed right now over ryota because i can't like him cause he won't like me back and i know that already. so well.. depressed na.

Well like i said.... have an inablity to stop thinking about Ryota when i am alone.... Was looking at the newspaper that he totally conteng until terkoyak and all that... I remember telling him about Paul and how i told Paul "anata ga suki desu" and he told me "noo that's not the way to say it, that's too formal" then i asked him "japanese people don't really say i love you right?" then he said "nope!" then i asked him, "so when you had a girlfriend, what did you say to her?" then he wrote and said "sukitayo" and how he said it was sooooooooooo damn cute! really! so cute..... and also "sukiyodee" so cuteeeeee.... and the he wrote out "aishiteru" and he was like "no no no, that's not how we say it..." and the he wrote I love you and drew arrow towards "sukitayo" so cute nee!

Well he keeps telling me to "go for it" and "why not?!" and just use the Japanese confession type and say ut to someone....... shud tell him it's his friend Eiji... should tell him... that it's....

Well i don't think i understand my feelings... and i guess i really don't have to because it's only going to end up in heartbreak... I don't know what i wish for, but i guess i should just be happy with what i have.

And what it is, is that, i really like the times i got to spend with Ryota. Even if like last week, it was only really about Japanese...

But nevertheless... things that Ryota does that when i think about makes me happy...

1) When he smiles, when he really smiles and he's just sitting there against the chair.

2) how he writes down, conteng, (COMPULSIVE I TELL YOU!), things that are being said on the paper... he really does that. He keeps writing down parts of sentences of what we're talking, either in hiragana or in English. Like these:


He gave me the homework to find the Japanese names of the 12 constellations... And i got it right... then he drew a flower with a FLOWER POT and wrote Hanashimasu... and i'm like "what the hell is it with the flower?!" and he was like "it means very good"... and i'm like "whaa??". And he explained how in japan they put a circle for correct answers AND THEN, if you did REALLY WELL, the circle becomes a flower... and he said ALL his teachers did that!! ouhhhh man... and some also even drew flower pot. So he drew flower pot also!!!
Then i complained to him i drew such a nice picture of the aeroplane, airport, bullet train, electric train and subway but didn't get flower also... Then he was like "ouh yea!" and then he drew a flower there...
Then i was suppose to do a reading he wrote and after i read it he drew another flower...


There... Ryota's diagram of the aeroplane, airport, bullet train, electric train and subway.... Those were part of the vocab i am suppose to memorize in the chapter and so i was asking him to help me remember it and then he started DRAWING pulak!! *haihhhhhh* And then after he drew, he actually forgot the airport, so i told him he forgot then he drew the airport next to the bullet train and i was like "yo, your airport is in the sky" and he smiled with that smile again those type of smile that makes me smile when i think about it... Then i told him "it's really a 'sky port'!" cause the translation of the kanji for airport is sky port... and he laughed... hehehehe.

3) I like how he says "wakanai" with a laugh or a smile.
We were talking about relationships yesterday (Wednesday) and i was telling him about how i am with people and why i do the things that i do. Then i told him "so now u can observe me" and he said and wrote on the paper "i cannot observe you" then i asked him "WHYYYYYYYY???" then he wrote down big big "WAKANAI!!!!" and said it with a laughing smile... hehe.

4) As much as his handwriting is i tell u, REALLY HARD to read..... BAD LAH meaning, wuahahahah, i can't tell apart his hiragana "wa", "me", "a" and also "ko" and "i".

5) when he gets excited about things, when it's like a sudden japanese phrase that pops into his head and he quickly writes it out... and then he'll ATTEMPT to teach it to me cause 5 mins later, i won't remember...
Like today he SUDDENLY had an impulse to teach me what "present perfect" is in japanese and he drew this big DIAGRAM and put the japanese translation and expected me to rememeber!!! It's actually in the pic above.

6) I like it when he jokes around. Or when he jokes around with me.
There's alot of this that i can't really write all out cause it's indiscribable... Like we were talking alot abt relationships and all that on Wednesday and he was just joking around alot.. and he's just so wonderful then u know... And i told him "i've never been kissed" and he really got a kick out of that and wrote something in japanese and started laughing. and i was like "are you insulting me???" and he was like, "no i'm not... it's so cuteee." and i'm like "it's sad!!!" then he wrote and said, "it's not sad, it's sweet"... And well he said and wrote down that he thinks i'm sweet... then he also wrote down that i am crazy and weak cause i was telling him how i feel insecure sometimes... and he thinks i shud be stronger...

7) How he doesn't remember some japanese words sometimes and forgets stuff... geez and i'll be asking him "are u REALLY japanese????" hehehehe.. me so bad.... Like he forgot today "ninth" and "seven" which is "kokonoka" and "nanoka", he mixed them up and i was arguing with him... then he stopped, thought then said "yeah, you're right," hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!


So yeah... i think why i like it when i spend time with him is cause he makes things fun. He makes it really fun... not just like with what he says but also what he does and how he acts and how he is you know... if he likes to write stuff down, draw pictures even if he can't draw well, how he smiles, how he laughs, how he forgets how to say "first" in japanese, how he don't remember the meaning for some kanji, how he tries to teach me, how he's patient, how he looks like he's interested in teaching, how he smiles u know... it's not like those beautiful smile that some cuties have wuahahhaha *eiji, hint hint*, but just his smile that's really sweet and encouraging...

Thou then ask me "what about EIJI THE CUTE GUY???!!!".... my answer is "that's why..." It's like... the guys i've liked or like think i have feelings for, it's always been me having liked them to begin with and then i become friends with them... But ryota is like, i don't have feelings for him you know, and the reason why i got to know him was also cause i approached HIS table with EIJI there and EIJI as my intended target... And the reason why i had been anxious to keep in touch with him was erm, a shitty intention to not wanna lose the one connection i had to Eiji...

Then... i got to spend some time with him and it's just his whole personality i guess... or just how he is that make things fun you know... i guess that's what you mean by congeniality, and i think that's awesome right?

still... he makes me happy and smile in that silly way with the things that he does like his drawing, his enthusiasm, his laugh, his smile... his heart.




and NO, it's not cause he's japanese. I may like things japanese but i am getting an overdose lately... Seriously, i am... Coupled with too much things japanese and simply you know, to just sit there and talk and learn from Ryota makes you feel connected person to person... makes you unconcious of racial and cultural boundaries. I think the one thing that Ryota did do was make me not concious that he's japanese and to make it you know, so what if it's talking with someone japanese? it's damn normal. He's a person like I am a person like everyone's all the same inside...
Sure we're learning japanese and japanese or things japanese are what we usually talk about, but he could be German or Irish or Mongolian for all i care, you know... he's just incredibly fun to be with... seriously, i guess you just have to meet him maybe and sit down with him and start talking with him... and i guess... i don't know if it's my heart or he's just like that, it's just the things, the way he is that really makes me smile...

Well i am in the library now. was coming here to check my mail cause i didnt' wanna go to the newsroom. in case they assign me soem story.
Then cutie was not around and so the only place to sit was at the front of the comp lab.
Then i sit there and lo and behold i turned behind and cutie was sitting there.

so yeap, he's sittign right there now but i have no idea waht i shud do. what i shud say. i probably shud say something huh... yeah.

something.

well, tomorrow norika and i are gonna hit Eiji... like we're just gonna be there and erm, try to talk to him??? I hope it doesn't rain, i hope he's there. God, please? Onegai shimasu?

Well on the hand, i think i've figured out why i feel posessive over Ryota and why thinking about him? makes me smile. I think it's cause i really have fun with him and what my heart says is that "i would like to spend more time with you". No? I think it is. I do would like to be able to spend more time with him. Cause he's fun to be around. I think.

Like i learn alot of things and i think the one thing that makes me really like being around him is that he is very willing to teach me about Japanese. Like i think he's still one of those japanese that of course do like America more but i think he's also one of those japanese that don't shun you if u wanna know more about Japan or anything. He's always been like that since the very instance i met him. no? I did ask him to read that AKG fan mail. And I like his enthusiasm in wanting to teach me "actual" japanese. Like informal forms, like kanji, those. I think that's fun.

I think that's one of the main reasons why I like being around him. He doesn't make me feel stupid when i don't know how to read hiragana. He's very patient. Instead of shaking his head and giving up he just laughs (and not in a mean way), i think he DOES find it amusing. And also he's really friendly and helpful and is willing to teach when it comes to anything Japanese. I wonder if it's cause he misses Japan or if like, he's another one of those immigrant students like me who finally learnt to love home only after we leave.

Yeap, dats why i like being around Ryota. Cause he's especially very willing to help whenever it comes to japanese. Doesn't make me feel like an annoyance, though i do think i am.

And well... he is fun to be with.

sigh... watashi no kokoro... what are u feeling?!

And though he DOES like Disney cartoons more than Anime, i wish i had a chance to just sit with him and watch anime. Ask him what the heck is going on and ask him to explain some cultural nuances and also, are all high schools really like that?! But i think he's also like my TA last semester who spent highschool abroad in another country. Maybe i think that's also why his English is really good.

nanairu no hikari utsushidasu no wa kaze nonai yoru no kumo-
seven colored light shows the clouds in the nite without wind...

isn't that beautiful???? ahhhhhhh Asian Kung Fu Generation.... u rock my... erm heart? hehehehe....

the only TWO words i DO understand in the line is "nanairu" nana = 7, iru = color. and also "kaze" = wind... and perhaps the particles... "no" and "wa" but i don't know what "no wa" particle implies.

sighhhhhhh

longgggggggggggggggggg way to "understanding" AKG no ongaku (song) in seems =((

ouh yeah, anyway, that line is from that song Mayonako to Mahiru no Yume (midnight and midday's dream/dreams of midnight and midday). It's the song that reminds me of Eiji... which i wanna give to him one day (hopefully soon) and tell him that the song reminds me of him... =))

(thanks to Norika for so patiently translating the song for me, thank uuuu)

Well... i think the whole erm.... thing, disturbance i was feeling about Brittney and Ryota and Japanese thing is ok i guess... Like i feel ok about it now... NOOOOOO i am NOT using Ryota to get to Eiji.. wuahahahaha ahhhh Eiji so cute ^^ *heart flutters*.... But yeah, Ryota sent me an email today complaining about his housemate... kinda poor thing the dude doesn't have a room and lives in the living room... no?

ouh yeah, he also taught me that instead of "nee" and "ne" that Kanto people use, for Osaka/Kanto region: Osaka, Kobe, Kyoto and all that, they use "na" and "nah" instead... hehe, cute ^^

mungkin dengan perpisahan kita akan mengerti arti pertemuan

"are you online? it's about 1:30. we should go to bed right? of course. i can handle any more people. maybe i don't wanna. so can you give me her email address? then, i'll send it to my friend."

I've been sitting in a secular Bible class, mind you SECULAR okay, meaning they don't teach Church doctorines, just what's in the Bible (plus the teacher is Jewish i think). And she kept pointing out that, at least in Genesis, there's always this notion of Measure for Measure. As in like, if you do something bad to others, it will come back to you.

Anyways, i feel used... not used. But i feel sad and hurt... That paragraph in italics is an email that Ryota sent to me after the first one where he said and asked "my friend said she would like to teach Japanese to someone who is taking Japanese. Do you know anyone?"

Good passing remark right? NO, except it was TOOO good passing remark considering that the day before, while i was with Ryota, we met my blonde, white, native speaker American friend Brittney who mentioned she's taking japanese and that there's no one she could speak it to.

So after a whole day of feeling guilty and a whole mixed emotion the other day and bitching to Karen hhehehehe about it... Well, i said to them that i couldn't be a bitch enough and if Ryota OR Brittney asked for help, i'd help right? cause neither of them belong to me anyway right?

Well there you go, i've helped. So someone pls shoot me in the foot now cause why the hell just cause i am not american, blonde, white and native speaker... i'm less valueble??? hell.

I didn't even wanna use Ryota to get to Eiji you know, seriously, and now i feel soo much i should have just used him... make it a "passing remark" wrote "anata no tomodachi ga daisuki desu. Sono otoko no hito no namae wa Eiji desu. Eiji wa tottemo kawaii desu ne," and then ask him more about Eiji. What the hell...

Measure for measure.... Is this my measure? that Ryota should INSTEAD be asking me because I did use him at first???? But i didn't use him. I walked up to his table with Eiji there, and it was Ryota who was so friendly and that's why i could become friends with him. It's not like i specifically singled out Ryota to get to Eiji. It's just so happen Ryota was there and Eiji was my target!

Ouh man screw it. my aching heart is just gonna go talk to Eiji on monday even if it means doing the wrong thing. i'm tried.

sigh.

i still like cutie, lah.

1) it's shit i don't understand Japanese at all. I wanna read all these stuff about Asian Kung Fu Generation... WHY CAN'T I UNDERSTAND?!

2) Well, Ryota's nice. Taught me Japanese again today. I think that he's a friendly person. Very willing to help and to teach, which is good. He's abit silent when there's another person around though, even if that other person is Japanese (whom he doesn't know).
Anyway, despite me wanting to put in my answer to his question, "anata no tomodachi ga daisuki desu. Sono suki na otoko no hito no namae wa Eiji desu." (I (am in) love (with) your friend. That favourite guy's name is Eiji) I didn't. I put instead "Booihurendo wa imasen kara deeto mo arimasen yo" (I don't have a boyfriend so i also don't have a date) Which really cracked him up =P wuahahahhaha... Well at least he gets comic relief sitting with me for so long u know?!

3) Well i met someone i don't mind playing around with. And he's an expert in it too. So if i wanted just to mess around, apparently, i DO have a phone number to call. But i don't know. I'm an emotional wreck and i keep thinking that if i did mess around with him, it might help me not to get so dependent on others and also like get over my intimacy problem cause I know EXACTLY how the dude feels before i get into this you know... But on the flipside of the coin, i don't know if i'd like myself after if i did anything with him...... cause i DO like to think of myself as erm... pure? wuahahahahhaha (YEAH RIGHT ELAINE! FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FROM REALITY!)

4) can't i just ask Eiji out for dinner? food... anything... He's what i really want anyway, for now ;)... I mean... i don't want to be possesive anymore, i don't want to be desperate any more... maybe not even desperate..... cause it's not like i am fully wanting it (referring to #3)... I just think it can be fun and i'd like to experiment and hopefully get over a demon or two...... But u know... I'd rather have well........ Eiji... heh. *sigh*

whatever.

5) gonna overdose on Japanese soon. Mainichi takusan nihongo o benkyoo shimasu. And today i met Taku too... my OTHER japanese tutor WHILE i was with Ryota and he was saying that i didn't call him!!! urgh..... ok better call him tomorrow then and ask some questions... I DO NEED HELP but it's like i have so much problems with Japanese i don't even know where to start. it's like i want to learn so much more, there's so much more to learn and so much I WANT to know how to say. BUT YET, I know SO LITTLE, and EVEN THAT, the LITTLE i should know, I STILL DON'T GET IT!

*sigh*

ouh well....

one more day of Japanese, just one more day!

Ryota's homework for me was to describe myself with the particles wa, ga, wo, ni... and sigh... i wish i could write, "anata no tomodachi ga daisuki desu. Sono suki na otoko no hito no namae wa Eiji desu. Eiji wa tottemo kawaii desu yo." ;)

sigh...

Well... Ryo(u)ta was really nice today. He actually sat down for 4 1/2 hours teaching me Japanese. It was really fun. But i kinda wanted him to teach me how to construct sentences and just basically, let me like ask him questions in Japanese and have him ask me questions so that i can learn how to speak properly, you know.

But yeah, he's so nice to spend the whole evening teaching a dimwit like me how to understand his language. I think in the end he got more confused instead... hmm. And apparently, i am not pronouncing all my kyo,kyu,kya and including HIS NAME ryo correctly.... I don't get it i really can't hear the difference between ryO and ryou... and apparently the hiragana of his name would have have to be ryou(ta)... =\
muzukashi desu yo.

But anyway... he's from Osaka... Apparently Osaka ppl are more friendly and i guess it's true... no? Ouh.. he even taught me to say things in Osaka dialect ^^... and dang, it's different. I learnt how to say "do you want to go for lunch/dinner?" in formal and informal forms and also in the Kanto and Kansai dialects... OKIES! time to practice the question with Eiji ;)

hehehe.

ahhh life is heartbreaking.

well i didn't see the cute guy today at Burger Kings. But i had to do a linguistics paper for tonite and so i went to the library's comp lab and there he was....

except that he was with a girl.

like sitting alone with her.

it's the first time i've seen him with a girl (perhaps he's not gay then huh)

but like, yeah.

she's left and i think he's still around here.... he didn't leave with her. does that mean anything?

ahhhh

why don't someone just rip my heart out and feed it to the dogs, i think it's much less painful that way.

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
i really took the camera to school today

KelvinC: Smokey the Bear says:
omg

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
and really stalked the cutie out and secretly took pics

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
ouh man

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
wuahahahahah

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
it's not as if this wasn't foreseen

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
after all the shit i've done in my life

KelvinC: Smokey the Bear says:
lol

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
it should have led up to something like this

KelvinC: Smokey the Bear says:
it was an eventuality?

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
EXACTLY!

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
but he's damn cute lah

wuahahaha! i got his pic! wuahahahha... ok so it was a little underhand tactic how i got it says:
;)

KelvinC: Smokey the Bear says:
lol


Ok, so i hit an all time morale low. More of like desperation low. But not really. Seriously, i took it not cause i wanted to look at him... thank you very much i don't need that, i just need to go stalk him out at Burger Kings everyday... But the point is that, some of you have been asking for his pics.... So i REALLY, SERIOUSLY, I MEAN IT, I did it cause i wanted to show you what i saw... REALLY. If I wanted to see him, I'll just go to school you know... it's not like he's not there everyday from approximately 12pm till 1pm... DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW. WUAHAHAHA, i just do because i go there to eat all the time and he's around you know. And please, tell me, you'd notice a cute guy too right, if you went often enough!!! =P

So anyway, the other thing is that... i think this dude is really nice to just see from afar you know. I'm not saying that he'd probably turn out to be dissapointing in person, I still would really love to know him... but you know... I think if i can't have the chance to know him as a friend, then i'd rather not make any move and just look from afar you know... cause he does look cute from afar... his shy smile when he looks down, you know... like that... He brings food from home everyday, btw... hmm... and again, don't ask me how i know that. But you know, i like him cause he's cute... and he looks even cuter when he's all quiet, and when he smiles shyly, or when he's just looking down and doing his homework.... Like he has his instance where he can be like noisy with his friends... but usually he's just smiling, or doing his work... and i like that about him...

So anyway... here's the pic... =)


YEAPPPPPPPPPP... dis is how i see him everyday........ THAT SMALL. THAT FAR AWAY.


It's times like these that inspires me, when i see him from afar.... the sunlight (no sunlight today) through his hair and he's looking down with a soft smile on his face and the breeze blowing slightly........... damn.........


THERE CUTIE *blows lots of hugs and kisses* God bless Camera ZOOM abilities ;)


finale.... then the battery went DEAD. *sigh*

ahhhhhhhhh.... my anime heaven drop down to earth mythological boy.... Damn, those japanese sometimes can be so damn cute... damn.

bye cutie... "see" you tomorrow ;)

wuahahahahhahaha

eh, btw, i do "know" the dude ok. His name is Ash, he's from Japan (duh), he's studying at the English Language center on campus (he has a very nice smile). I know his friend Ryota, but Ryota is busy with his classes lately and that's why he's not hanging out with cutie. I think he kinda remembers me too, but there's DEFINITELY a need to refresh his memory on that ;)

Well... i can finally, LEGALLY, land in Japan....

I want to thank God for everything. I don't know why but i feel like, God's always been really nice to me though i don't deserve it.

Like i wanted to go to UK, dad brings me there, you know... Then America, when i wanted to come here. I got here in the end. I wanted to be in CALIFORNIA, and i did in the end. Then there's Japan and i know like load of friends who also want to go more badly than i do... And who'd have thought, you know, one year after this obsession started... I'll have the chance to see Japan too, you know... And i want to thank God for that... For always giving me the chance to live my dreams, for always making my dreams come true.

well.... Two visas of the two places i truly wanted to go... Japan and America. Thank You God. You're always so nice to me even when I don't deserve it. Arigatou gozaimashita, hontoni.

depression is not healthy.

i don't know if i should just stay in Tokyo and that's it or go somewhere else. You know how that is when you try to do too many things at once, you might end up not doing anything at all. And I don't want it to be that way. Sacrifices has to be made.

I'd really love to see:

Tokyo: Odaiba Ferris Wheel (wuahahahahah)
Hakane: Mt. Fuji
Kyoto: Kiyomizu-dera, Fushimi Shrine, erm.... maybe more but i guess we can't have everything ;)
Fukuoka: Asian Kung Fu Generation

But you know... life is not THAT long. What should i do?????

On the good side.... I got someone to help me with a storyboard for my "music video" so that's nice.

Reasons why i love days away.......

taken from
http://www.myspace.com/daysaway

Influences
noise, rythmn, the changing of the seasons, new shoes, eggs benedict, women, family, naked babies at the beach, chronic, dreams-------

Sounds Like
waves crashing in outer space, raindrops hitting earlobes, the deafening ring of bombs blowing up nearby

Isn't that just so lovely and well phrased? awesome awesome baby.... seriously.... That's the days away that comes up with the brilliance that they do and no matter waht they do, even if they've been doing this for the past 10 years and more, i think it's a wonder that they never lost their vision and stuck to the music they believed in without burning out or selling out..... and that's amazing....

I just feel it's amazing they've been in this since they were 12 and still, they believe in the magic of music and they still stick to the magic of music and kept being indie even when there were a million opportunities to sign to bigger labels (than Fuelled by Ramen which they signed to finally).... Seriously, and at the end of it... they've not burned out you know... Didn't fizzle out in the strive to be themselves, to make the music they love... but instead they've grown so much... evolved, you know... and i think that's just brilliant... and that is exactly why I love Days Away so much... and even more since i came here and got to know more than just their music...

you're a beauty that is deeper than eyes can merely see, the closest thing to heaven but the furthest thing from me.

There's a certain something that sunlight does to your eyes cast there undearneath the blowing breeze and morning shadowing your lovely face. Maybe it's all idealized, maybe, maybe it is. Perhaps it's the echo in my heart that make you sitting there cast in sunlight, so beautiful... maybe, yet maybe, i don't think wrong if i do idealize you... perhaps like some star somewhere out there that marvels us or that we want to reach but a galaxy apart seperates us... it's just simply impossible sometimes, you know.

it's the third DAY of school and i feel as if it was the 10th week or something like that. Shitty Sundial....

So basically i am depressed, tired- not tired, i'm just worn out... my brains feel like it's half fried most of the time, and i am telling you, this is only the third day of school. Have been going to school at 7-8am everyday, staying till 10pm except for today. I got to school at 7:30am and start reporting till Japanese class at 9am then at 11am i go for another class, then at 12-2pm i go do reporting again, then at 2-3pm i have class, then after that i do reporting again till maybe 5:30pm i think then i rest till class at 7 - 10pm, then i go home and i am too tired to do anything else. Then comes tuesday, supposedly no school, u know till 2pm, RIGHT. ASS. Go do reporting by 9:45am cause i have sources and the newsroom hounding my ass. But first, and almost the only good thing that happened that day, Then, it's reporting all the way till class at 2-3pm... And the class is called The Bible. i love God's word but ouh man, the conceptualization the amount of wealth in the Bible is great if not infinite... and by the time i get out of class my brains are zapped... only to walk into the newsroom 1 min later and have my editor assignment two more stories, one due on Thursday.
SOOOOOOOOOOOO i go do my reporting from 3 till my class start at 6, then another class at 7 -10pm... LINGUISTICS ok LINGUISTICS.
Then when i get back i am too zapped to do anything so i bitch about the damn sundial and it feels like damn it's been forever since school started but nooooooooooooooooo it has only been 2 days. And i call Hiro up and tell him "i'm hungry" and asks if he has anything i could eat cause he was eating some instant noodle... he says no he doesn't and i hang up and call Alejandro and Sam to bitch to them about the Sundial and then someone knocks on my roomdoor: it's my housemate. She tells me Hiro left me lasagna in the kitchen because i called him to tell him i was hungry. *hugs* to Hiro.

Anyways, i guess i'm just really mentally worn out cause no matter what class i am in (except "beloved" Japanese of course), all i keep thinking about is Sundial. Wake up Sundial, sit in class Sundial, eating Sundial, sleeping Sundial, sitting here STILL Sundial, what i have to do, etc, the time i can be using to be reporting instead, how many stories i have left to report on, who i have to call, other alternatives if my source is a no-show dead end, how else can i get around this, damn the deadlines i am going to miss... and the worse part of all, i know i am gonna get that miss deadline tomorrow, as much as i have tried.... no one gives a damn about trying if you can't get that story in, basically, you didn't do it, that's all they care about and that's just shit because effort counts for nothing in the newsroom. apprently neither does "other classes" and "other homework" mean anything. I think it's just unfair, not unfair but it is just very selfish of them to think that you can devote all your time to the Sundial to the neglect of other classes. You know, the Sundial is not the only thing in my whole school life you know. I do need my other classes to graduate. But by the looks of it, it seems that Sundial is gonna screw up my graduation in the end. I just think it's really selfish.