Onigiri. Why does the nori of my onigiri STILL get torn even if there are CLEARRRRRRR GRAPHICAL instructions on how to tear the plastic out correctly!
So I promised myself I won't cry in Japan. I promised myself, that I MUSTN'T.
But I remember, there had been only twice before that had I cried when a plane took off... One was when I left Malaysia for America... and the next was when I left America for Malaysia.... And the third was today.
I guess, it hurts being in Malaysia itself... There's just too many reminders about everything about him...
I know I will still think about him... But, I mustn't cry. Not in Japan.
Anyhow... I think today was the first day I hadn't thought about him a whole lot, actually, coz maybe I was thinking about Tsubaki more!!!
I was crying when I slept.... When I woke up, I saw this...
It was a really nice sunrise on the horizon..
and the clouds looked really pretty below..
Well anyway, the flight seemed short... and we touched down at Narita... I think I spent a total of 10 minutes in Tokyo... From the Narita Express, into the corridors of Tokyo Station and 5 minutes later, on the Shinkansen bound for Kyoto.
Anyway, I met up with Cindy in Kyoto and we had lunch together... After that, she took me to the hotel and the livehouse... The livehouse was nearer to the station than the hotel but she suggested we go to the hotel first before we picked the tickets up from the livehouse...
Hotel, 50 bucks! Nice and reasonable too!
After putting stuff in the hotel, we went to the livehouse...
There was NO ONE there.... But all of TSUBAKI's equipment were all in the corridor... I was hoping we could meet the band, and then, two people walked in and I recognized one of them to be OKAMOTO-SAN!!!
Cindy approached Okamoto-san and asked her about the reservation for the tickets... She told us to wait and went to get her phone... Then I told Cindy she was the drummer... Then I asked her, "Okamoto-san desu ka?" and she said, "Hai."
Then she went up to call someone...
We were on our way out, coz some guy told us that we werent' suppose to be there... As we were going back up, Okamotosan came back down with ISSHIKISAN!!!!! mauahahahahahahaha...
SOMEHOW, it's DAMNNNNNNNN weird, but Isshiki-san was handling all the online booking through the Tsubaki website!
Cindy talked some stuff to them about the booking which I totally didn't understand... Anyway Isshiki-san just told us, it's okay, I can just give my name at the ticket counter, then I can get the ticket later... since it's not sold out...
When they were mentioning my name, Isshiki mentioned about the letters I wrote to them.. Then Cindy asked me if I had written them any letters and I said I did... SOOOOOO... Isshiki-san got the letters and remembered it!!!
Anyway, I managed SOME Japanese and told them I will be going for their live on 23rd and 29th too.. Then Isshikisan said that he remembers my name for the 23rd.. Then he checked his phone and asked for my last name... So Cindy told him "Loh" and he said "Oh yes,"
Anyhoo, I guess u gotta as CINDY for what Isshiki-san and Okamoto-san really said... hahahahha..
Oh yeah I also said "Soshite, Isshikisan, Omedetou Gozaimasu."... He looked at Okamotosan and laughed, then he bowed and said thank you.
Anyways, that led us to ask them for a picture =D.... And Isshikisan said it was alright... And it would be better to take it now, coz after the live, there are too many people anyway.....
So we took a picture!!!
Ato de, I asked for autograph! AT LEAST I could say "sign ga ii desu ka?" ahahahhahahaha~
Anyway, they were both cool about it =D
ANyways, that was it!
That was Tsubaki!!!
Isshikisan is a little different from how I had imagined him to but... He's a lot smaller, for one thing ahahhahaha... But still cute, ne!
Anyway, Cindy left after that... and I went to take a walk around, since it was early...
Anyway.... After that, I went back to the hotel and went online...... TYpical me ahahahah... ACTUALLY, my leg hurts ALOT...... (excuses). SERIOUSLY! I travelled alot ok!!!
ANyway, I thought it was a really good way to start out everything... Meeting Isshiki-san and Okamoto-san...
While I was walking around.. I was thinking.... Actually, I didn't feel as HIGH or EXCITED as I had been when I met Odaka-san two years ago... I remember my heart was racing like MAD and I could not smiling the whole damn night.... But meeting Isshiki-san was almost like normal...
But that said, I realize I also thought about *him* (THE GUY) less... I also felt as if, the feeling of hurt and pain just seem a little further away...
Maybe it's just like a temporary drug (Isshiki-san and Tsubaki hahahaha) induced conscious coma... But I damn hope it lasts.
But I remember, the day after I left *him*... I remember that i told myself "it's okay, Elaine," and I thought to myself, "If i got to meet Isshiki-san, I think I will be okay," and that's why I had really wanted to meet him and I was really praying to God to let me meet him..
And really, I feel that with the great timing and AGAIN, the unexpected chance of SUDDENLY just being able to meet Isshikisan and Okamotosan without even thinking we could... We did... And Thank You God.. for having granted me this one silly prayer...
Anyway... I went to the live but was too early for it, so I decided I would walk to Kamo River.... On the Subway map it didn't look that far and I really felt like seeing the river... So i walked it......
IT WAS FAR.
But well... at least I saw it :)
Well the whole walk from the livehouse to Kamo River and back actually took A WHOLE HOUR...
When i got back to the livehouse, I could get in to buy the ticket... Ogawasan was there!!!!!! But I didn't talk to him!!!!!!! :(
I had really wanted to! But i was buying the ticket, and when I was done, he had finished packing the goods table :(
Sorry, Ogawasan, I really wanted to say hello~~~!
He was as cool as ever. hahhhaha!
Anyway..... when I was waiting for the live to start... I really felt too old perhaps.... I'm already 27, u know? I'm not 19 or 20 anymore like I was when I went for all the shows in America... I'm NOT a youth anymore.... Maybe i AM too old for this shit!!!
But really but inside me, jsut waiting there and when i was walking around thinking about the live, it just gets my heart beating in anticipation for the show!
It's just awesome, you know, BEING THERE IN THE PIT!!!!!!
That said, there are actually ALOT more older people in Japanese shows... THere were a few women who were at least 40 there, u know...
SO MAYBE I AM NOT TOO OLD AFTER ALL!!!
Anyway............
The band came on and BAM! the first song started, I almost just cried when I heard "Dekiru nara waratte...."...
It was Kinou no Kaze...............
While the didn't play Katamichi Kippu....... Starting with that song just made everything so complete....
Last year, around this time actually, when I was feeling absolute shit about SriKDU.... I was listening to this song EVERYDAY....
And everytime Isshikisan sang, "Ame no mukou ni nani ka aru?".....
At that time I always felt there TOO was something waiting for me after this rain.... After all these shit, there HAS TO BE something for me beyond that... I really believed that at that time...
And I guess, it's a feeling I want to have back now...
To believe, that after this rain, there is something waiting for me too...
ANYWAY... nothing beats the ringing in your ears, the air thick with the mass of bodies moshed together, the sensation of wind blowing in after the show.... DAMN, I really miss this feeling you know? Whether I am getting old or not, I relaly don't want to think about it... If i can keep myself thinking mentally I am perpetually 20, I WOULD.....
I will never stop going for show, I NEVER want to feel i am too old for this shit, you know... It's just.... too alive, for me to feel I'm too old for this anymore...... I don't want to feel that at all!
So after the live... there was a crowd getting out and lining up to buy Tsubaki goods...
Then as we were waiting, Isshikisan came out to meet the fans and to SELL stuff.... He's so wonderful to do that, you know... Considering he'd have to meet like 400 over people and shake the hands of over 400 people... But he did that.
And so when it came to my turn he was like "oh! Hello,"... I DIDN'T say anything to him at all except "this" and "this"... and he was so nice to take he things.. Then he said the total was "blah blah blah" and OF COZ, it was too fast and I was SUPER nervous, so i didn't get AT ALL what he said... ahahhaha.. So I just gave him all my money and he counted for me the amount and I said "sorry,"
Then he gave me the change and said "mata aimashou"... then he said "ah, 23nichi deshou?" then I said, "Hai," he was smiling and shaking my hands and THEN I TOOK MY HAND AWAY!!! he was a little shocked!! ahahahahahah.. DUDE, i wanted to shake his hands forever (very soft, his hands ahahahaha), but i don't know why i took my hand away when he was STILL GRABBING IT!!
DAMN STUPID ELAINE. U THInK EVERYDAY U GET TO TOUCH ISSHIKISAN???????????????????????????
Anyway....
My dad sent me on this trip, because he wants me to return home normal...
In the depths of my heart...
I really wish I will...
I really, really hope I'll have many more days like these....
Yes, it wasn't as exciting anymore when I met Isshiki-san... It was as if, I just can't feel truly truly excited or happy about anything.
Yes, I felt too old to be doing this shit standing there in the mosh pit with all these kids, yes, I feel that very much...
And yes, I don't know if all these temporary fleeting moments would even make a change or have any meaning at all when the day after tomorrow comes.
And yes, I don't know if this will even save me in the end, when i DO go back to Malaysia, will ALL the flood of pain return like before...
I Really don't know...
But what I do know is that...
I thought about *him* less today.
And right now, I sure as hell don't feel as bad as I did yesterday...
So thank You God, thank you dad, and yes, thank you Isshiki-san...
Soshite, Otanjoubi Omedetou Gozaimasu...
1 comments:
I was at Kyoto Mojo too for the live, so I probably might have seen you. It's great that you got a picture with 2/3 of the band, lucky you.