into the void

Soooooooooo~~~~~~~

I forgot to mention, but I am making another needlework thingy for Akio again this year wuahahahhaha...

This time, it's cross stitch!

I'm making a pig motive and Akio's name in Hiragana. It's gonna be made into a small pillowcase! (don't ask me why pillowcase. But if not that, then what then???)



Dunno why but i felt like cross stitching lately... It's actually a great stress reliever...

So anyways, bought the directions and materials in atria on Sunday, been sewing all week!

I ran out of thread so i couldn't finish it tonite, but here it is so far!




I had to come up with the directions for the Hiragana "Akio"... It was abit hard... I'm satisfied with the "A" but I don't quite like the "ki" and I think the "o" is not round enough.... I'm gonna tidy up the stitch for "ki" but I think I'm gonna leave "o" as it is, since it does look like "o" just abit... not round enough haha.


Since it took me like 1 week to finish this and it's WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY cheaper than knitting!!!!!.... I was thinking if i am enthusiastic enough, maybe I could stitch 1 for Tsuyoshi and Noah too................. errrrrrr... for Christmas... It'd be nice... Or maybe I should knit Noah a scarf... But i'd have to rebuy my needles since i lost it! dang!

I dunno... we'll see!!!!!!

It's kinda nice and great stress reliever!!!!!

HERE for the FIRST PROJECT AKIO: Knitted Scarf.

And yes, again, why Akio? Because I know he's the 1 person I can trust that if I made something and gave it to him, he would be happy to receive it... And he'd appreciate it and not spit on it or like get freaked out or whatever (well he hasn't so far, so lets hope not)...

Actually, Akio has never dissapointed me that way... Because no matter what, he always managed to see my intentions of doing what I do and not misunderstand it... He hasn't so far anyway...

Like the scarf, I actually asked him when i met him in Japan if he actually used it and he said he did!!!! hahahahahah.. REALLY??? My goshhhhh~~~ Considering that maybe, I myself might even think twice before wearing it out!! hahaha.

Also, when i was in Japan and i met Akio... He was telling Mayuko and I how he only ate 1 meal a day because he always came back too late to cook dinner and he was too tired.... And i wish i could take care of him lol!!! But anyway, i thought i'd buy him like a food gift card or something... But they didn't have those in Japan and the closest that they did have to gift cards was cash vouchers....

So anyway, I really wanted to get it for him, to ask him to use it to buy himself a meal or something... Coz too bad, i can't cook nething for him (even if I could... i don't think he should eat it!! haha). HOWEVER, Mayuko warned me against buying the cash vouchers coz she told me "it's okane yo!"... It's actually money. So giving it would be like giving money to Akio and she thought that's not appropriate.... and she said "he needs time to eat, not money to eat"

BUT ANYWAY! I bought it and asked Mayuko if she could post it to him for me. So i wrote a letter and sent the "money" to him...

A few weeks after I got back from Japan, I saw Akio online the first time in MONTHSSSSSSSSSSS and he messaged me and told me thank you very much for the gift and he said he is happy and he will use it to have a good meal soon!!!

So... well, that's why... I guess... for some reason, that way, Akio has understood me time and time again, and understood, you know, my intentions and I really thank him for that... for not misunderstanding what I intended to be something good...

Thank you, Akio =)

それでも歌いたい。歌わせてください。

Still, I want to sing. Please let me sing.



It's so beautiful... or at least, inspiring. Yoshitaro was writing about his thoughts on the world and all that is happening in it... and how easy it is for him to just say that he his helpless to change anything... yet what is then the value of the songs that such a man sings?

Yet, still, he wants to sing... Please let me sing...

I think that's very beautiful...

Then... well... sing on... =)

Songs....
Tsubaki
Lunkhead

it's abit sad but....... it's abit sad to feel this but, it's sad that I feel that Michelle's the only real friend i have and funny thing is that she's 8000 miles away.

i feel like i've not treated her as I should but instead i have casted pearls before swines.

I feel very dumb and such a fool coz I always waste my effort on the things that don't matter when I could have gained so much more and be much better off if I had just been more selfish and not have given so much, coz what for? In the end it's just spit on and forgotten, and no one actually cares-- not enough anyway.

You should always withold love and affection and care where and when it's not asked for. Instead, give it to those who really cares back for you and who is WORTH the effort and the love...

Because I look back at all these and all i can say is that I was a fool, I am a fool... and it was all for naught.

Sometimes, there comes a time (usually at times like these) that you realize who your friends really are and who your friends aren't. It's a saddening realization but.... sometimes I wish it speaks more about the other person than it does about me, that at least... you're not the selfish one in the end.



I was just writing a text (sms) just now.... felt really really down and lonely and i felt i needed someone... i needed a friend, needed to know, at least, someone cared......... I scrolled through the list to find someone i could send it to whom i knew would care or had the time to care and, you know, I couldn't find anyone.. Not a single one....

Except...

Michelle.

You know, actually..... sadly to say..... she's actually called me more often in the past months than every other person on my list.


I don't know......



I remember... there was once... back in Northridge... I felt really down one day.... probably because of some guy haha... But i remember texting Michelle that day... Just a passing text you know, like you would just text to your friends "Feeling a little depressed. wish you were here."

And DUDE, that night, although she finished work at 10pm, had to work again the next morning, she still drove 1 1/2 hours, 90 miles, from Anaheim to Northridge just to eat at Denny's with me for an hour or so. What the hell man... but THAT was what she did. It's like driving from KL to seremban to have mamak with a friend. Dude... I will always remember that... and I will always love Michelle for that.....


And I guess that's why, it is after all that she has done for me, her love her care her phonecalls, her wishes, her love, you know.... That I know, that sitting here 8000miles away at 12 am feeling lonely as hell feeling like such a fool that I have wasted my affections on worthless things.... I still had ONE friend in her... even though she is so far away, even though we weren't from the same country or same culture or same skin color... At least.... I am still her friend she cares about. That means alot to me.


This is not to say i have no friends... but u know... It's really really realy very very comforting for me to know that I have Michelle at least...

Thanks dude... And I love you... And I miss you... and you know how much I wish I was back there and we could do stuff again.... It was a life really, a life i really wish could have last a lil longer...

GREAT FAILURE AGAIN....

I spent 12 hours doing ONE FRIGGING ICON.... Because i couldn't decide on waht i want.... I'm still not happy with this one...



The Japanese word that "ODAKA" I scanned it in from the autograph i got from Yoshitarou... hehe.



Yeah same pics I know... But i don't think I can use these for the icon challege coz it's a group pic not an individual pic... But i dunno lets see...

d "LUNKHEAD" is a scan from the handdrawn postcard I got from Lunkhead when I bought their album.


previous batch:

K......... great failure....... 2 days 3 icons....





Also i have changed to a 50 Icon challenge on Livejournal... The themes are easier too... 40 artist choice, and 10 themed icons... i think that should be doable... but i do have only 4 months to complete them... Hmm..

Well... since i took d time wuahahahha to romanize Tsuki to Tenohira for cw, i might as well post it up also...

Kanji, romaji, translation (thanks Norika!)


Lunkhead - 月と手のひら

すっかり遅くなったな
月がもうあんなに高くなってる
君はもうそろそろ眠くなるはずなのにそれでも
星のシャワーと夜の風が
君の頬を桜色に染める
はしゃいだ声、弾んだ息
街灯が創る二つの影

手をつないでうちに帰ろう
四月とは言っても夜はまだ冷えるから
風邪引かないように
少し急いで

色々話したいことが
たくさんあるはずなのに
ひとつも言葉にはならないから
強く手をにぎる

高台から望む街は
窓の数だけ光る命
みんなきっと少しだけ
人より幸せになりたいだけ

手をつないでうちに帰ろう
四月とは言っても今日は特に冷えるから
風邪引かないように
手をつないでうちに帰ったら
温かいミルクを飲もう
夜はまだ長いからいい夢を見れるように
少し甘くして

いつか君のその手は
違う誰かを幸せにする
その未来へ君を送り届ける
手をつないで

-------

sukkari osokunattana
tsuki ga mou annani takakunatteru
kimi wa mou soro soro nemuku naru hazunanoni soredemo

hoshi no shawaa to yoru no kaze ga
kimi no hoho o sakurairo ni someru
hashai da koe, hazunda iki
gaitou ga tsukuru hutatsu no kage

te o tsunaide uchi ni kaerou
shigatsu to wa ittemo yoru wa mada hieru kara
kaze hikanai you ni
sukoshi isoi de

iroiro hanashitai koto ga
takusan aru hazunanoni
hitotsu mo kotoba niwa naranaikara
tsuyoku te o nigiru

takadai kara nozomu machi wa
mado no kazu dake hikaru inochi
minna kitto sukoshi dake
hitoyori shiawase ni naritai dake

te o tsunaide uchi ni kaerou
shigatsu to wa ittemo kyou wa tokuni hieru kara
kaze hikanai you ni
te o tsunaide unchini kaettara
atatakai miruku o nomou
yoru wa mada nagai kara ii yume o mireru you ni
sukoshi amakushite

istuka kimi no sono te wa
chigau dare ka o shiawase ni suru
sono mirai e kimi o okuritodokeru
te o tsunaide

-------

It’s already so late
The moon is so high up there
You should be feeling sleepy by now but

The shower of the stars and the night wind
makes your cheek the color of cherry blossom.
Your happy voice, your excited breath
Two shadows made by street lights

Let’s hold hands and go home
Even it’s April, it’s still cold at night
I don’t want you to catch a cold
Let’s hurry up a little.

There are so many things I want to talk about with you,
But none of them are coming out of my mouth
So I hold your hand stronger

The town we look down from the light house is
filled with as many bright lives as windows
Perhaps everyone wants to be a little bit happier than other people

Let’s hold hands and go home
Even it’s April, today is especially cold
I don’t want you to catch a cold
When we get home holding hands
Let’s drink a cup of warm milk
We can make it a bit sweet so you can have a nice dream in this still long night.

Someday, your hand will make someone else happy
To that future I will deliver you
Holding hands



I still think there's an essense to the song that's lost in translation... It's a very sweet song, and perhaps sweeter when you actually understand it in Japanese... like the words Yoshitarou used....

Especially the parts like "te wo tsunaide..." the way he played around with the phrase at the end....
Also the part "ii yume wo mireru you ni"... I think the sweetness of that part is also lost in translation to "have a nice dream"...
And the part "takadai kara nozomu machi wa, mado kazudake hikaru inochi, minna kitto sukoshi dake hitoyori shiawase ni naritai dake".... I don't quite understand this part in Japanese but I think the essense that Yoshitarou was trying to capture in those lines probably has a stronger feeling and meaning than it sounds in English...

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo

FOR SOME REASON, I signed up for the 100 icon challenge and i chose ODAKA YOSHITAROU!!!! 小高芳太郎~

Bad tho... coz i dun think i have 100 pics of him... Actually much less 100 pics that can be made into icons!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~

Neways, I made some icons last nite...... Have to relearn everything wth... =_=

This is in the order I made them....





ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

1 for Mr. Capy!!!

wawawawawaaaaa!!

SO!

Online shopping is GREAT!!!!

Was VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY pleased with my purchases wuahahahaahah....

SOOOOO... My package from japan came yesterday wuahahahaah....





Heheeheheheh....

So i was damn pleased with it...

I got my beavers!!!!!!!!

OK LA CAPYBARA!!!




FOR NIGEL!!!!!

DAmn cuteeeeeee... actually I like this one the best too... But i got this for him... hehe...






Dis 1 is mine... But i might give this one to cw...






BABY KAPIBARA!!!





Damn cute dis 1.... I was planning to give dis 1 to cw... if not I can give him the bigger 1... heheheeh



CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~~~~~~~~


BESIDES THAT!!!!!!!!

I AM ALSO DAMN PLEASED WITH ALL MY LUNKHEAD PURCHASES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I managed to get BOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Play at the Crossroads Cd1 AND Cd2 for only $50!!!!!! Limited Edition CDs wei!!!!!!!!!! AND ORIGINALS too!!! AND RARE!!!!!!

Dude!!! usually in other auctions, Per CD would go for AT LEAST 50 bucks!!! BUTTTTT for some reason, the one i got was for BOTH CD1 and CD2 and for some reason, the fans just stopped bidding at $40!!! I dunno why!!!!! It's actually ORIGINAL too!!!!!!!!










Besides that I also got LUNKHEAD MAGAZINE CLIPPINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN GOOD DEAL ALSO!! cause i ended up wid alot of clippings! I didn't think i got that many but apparently, I did!!!!

ANDDDDD

BEST DEAL OF ALL IS...


HALF NAKED YOSHITAROU PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!


DUDE!!! I had bid on a previous auction for these and the price was liek 40 bucks!!! But i got this one and other clipping for only 5 bucks!!!!!!

GREAT!!!


DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL PEOPLE DROOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

ARM THY HEART!!!!!!!

FAINT NOT!!!!!!!







WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*FAINTS*

dude......................... I NEED A BOYFRIEND!

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...................................

nothing happened dis week. so uneventful harhar.

Thursday nite pasar malam chow yang wid KL and CW....
1) bought my fav potato thingy
2) packed asam laksa and we went to me house to eat
3) Watched transformers again! Megan Fox is hot!

Friday stayed in bed all day wid KL watching Heroes... K.... somehow dat sounded inappropriate.....
0) pick KL...
1) watched epi 5 - 6
2) drove out buy McD, ate..
3) watched epi 7 - 8
4) ate.
5) watched epi 9 -10
6) ate
7) watched epi 11 - 13
8) ate
9) watched epi 14 - 16
10) sent KL home....... ate ramli hehehe


Saturday stayed in bed all day, sleeping... den at night went out wid CW...
------ Hmmm... actually it was quite a nice night... I was quite full so we drove around for abit... was just driving till i got hungry... So i wanted to drive to OUG, then cw said he wanted to go to Taman Desa to see Kevin's car, so we drove to Taman Desa. His car was not there... Then after that we drove to OUG... we got the idea of eating durians hahahahaha... so we hunted down some durians in Happy Garden then packed it. Wanted to eat it somewhere the go mamak... then I thought, ok, let's go to the 7-11 nearby Nigel's wheere we always go for ramli... So started driving there (crazy hor, from BU to Happy Garden to get durian then back to Taman Megah to eat d durian in front of 7-11 wth...)...
Then when we got to the 7-11, there were alot of cars parked there... so cw said go the the SS2's... so went there... packed also.. then he said to go to the Kelana Jaya station's... So we went there...
We parked la, then got a drink then sat in the car listening to TBS and eating durian... WTH RIGHT?????????????????????????????
den after that around 12:30 we started driving again la... drove around back down to Bukit Damansara.... talking (coz the music died by this time) and then went home...

Hmmm... it was quite nice la... nice moment u know, just sitting in the car outside sevens listening to music... YEAHHHHH i suppose it's nicer if we wnet up the jejantas to look at cars but............... TOO EMO WEI!!! wuahahahha (and dats something u wanna do wid SARAH, not Elaine Loh yo!! hehehehehe. CW: NOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooo!! AWAY FROM ME YOU EVIL FAT GIRL!)


Sunday today stayed in bed most of d day sleeping... and afternoon went out wid CW...
--- Went to d digital mall wid cw... FOR SOME REASON, i've not been to that area for the past 5 years, BUT, then suddenly within these few months i've been there more than half a dozen times! geez....
--- after we took cw's comp stuff home, dude took another mouliu drive around hahahahahahahha... drove from cw's hse to SS17... den wanted to try a shortcut... den after that, took another "short cut" back to cw's hse.... Dat's it... WTH!!! hahahaha



NEWAYS.... wow... i saw CW alot dis weekend! how lucky~~~ hawhawhaw... Haha but true oso ma... when he starts classes (tmr).. dats it wei... wun see him nemore.... =(

I dunno...

I guess d end is drawing near huh............ It's impossible to get everyone out together these days.... I only ever see Kheng Li and that's it or maybe CW..... I suppose... it's okay that things end somehow.... because that's part of how life goes... The thing that matters in all these is that you had fun and it was fun and most of all, you got to experience it to begin with...

We may never take another trip to KLIA with Ken and cw, we may never go to pasar malam together again with Nigel, cw, kl... We may never go watch transformers again or have A&W again wid ken, cw, nigel... We may never Wii again together like we did... (i bet we'd still dota tho! wuahahaha... actually even that...)... but it's fine... because u'll remember those moments, though slowly becoming vague with time... but as long as at that moment when you lived it, hey, part of this was mine... Like the stillness of the rain soaked night that blanketed the city last night... yeah, at least that there was that moment, and we lived it together as friends, and we were friends those moments, those nights, those times... I think that's what matters, that it happened, that we had it, that we shared it, in that moment, for that moment, for that night, in our lives...

I think, i guess, i want to believe that is what counts. that's what important. that's the point.

right?