ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

For those who are still following this page..

"مرحبا"

I know I haven't written in a long time but that's because I guess I really don't know how to put into words what I have been feeling for the past two months or more.

And everytime I do have a thought formulated, the feeling of it changes in the wake of another dawn.

Everyday since meeting him has really, really, really been a wrecking experience of how fucked up I am and how fucked up I can be.

It has taught me the depths of stupidity I can sink myself into, and the extent to which I can masochistically continue to hurt myself despite seeing the truth.

And everyday, I am fluctuating between strength and peace to utter confusion, pain, hate jealousy, depression and dispair- all within the same 10 waking hours... Or make that every 5 minutes.

Sometimes I don't even know why I continue doing it when all feelings is gone. Sometimes, the feelings come back. Sometimes there's no reason, yet I do it. Sometimes I don't even want to do it anymore yet I continue to do it without reason or feelings.

What have I become, my sweetest friend?