ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

I love this picture... somehow to me... it captures everything... well, almost everything, of how i was there then... that I could do whatever i wanted... and i was the freest... and I was me... or at least, all that i wanted me to be...

i miss california because i was the most truthful there; when i wasn't trying to be someone else, something else, someone that others want me to be. there, i was only myself; what I wanted to be.

I was reading a book the other day. California: Dreams and Realities. Coincidently, it was actually complied by the professor in Uni who taught me Popular American Culture class.

The introduction had in it some questions that asked what image does California conjure in our mind when we think about it? What does California mean to us? What is California in our consciousness?

Unfortunately for me, as much as I do see the dichotomy between the dream California and the realities of California, SoCal will always be painted in a perpetual sunshine and blue skies in my mind, where anything could be possible-- because for me, for my experiences, as much as i did see the sot and stink of 7th and Metro, California to me still shines.

I don't think California is a place I can truly be objective about and to study this state unbiased-- as much as it is the archetypal of the American Dream, the good, the bad-- it is indeed, the Golden State to me, and everything that the American Dream idealistically is suppose to be.