ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

あまりに安っぽい例え話だけど
曇り空も晴れた空も同じ空であるように
笑い声も涙さえも
大事な君自身の君らしさに違いないのだと僕は思う
誰が何を言おうとも僕はそう思う

This is such a worn-out example, but,
As the cloudy sky and the fine sky are the same skies,
so is your laughter and your tears the real/same you.


I think Yoshitarou wrote it so beautifully here... It's something I've been feeling lately... I feel so incongruent sometimes, you know, like the pieces of me don't fit together, or at least, what i show to others is not what I truly feel and truly am inside... But yet, whether it's the serious or crappy me, the happy or depressed me, i feel that both are my truth... my ownself.
It's just that I am expected to be who i am not... But when I play too much, sometimes there are also a deviation from that "i don't care" person too..


I don't know... I realized today that I don't have anyone to talk with. I realized that for the past 3 months (geez it has ONLY BEEN 3 months!) I've encapsulated my world too tightly around college, and I feel like i'm suffocating because of that because I have no breather away from this world.
Don't get me wrong, the kids are great and the friends are awesome... But I've always been one who needed two worlds... Because when i got sick or dissapointed or hurt or choked by one, i always had another to turn to help me breathe and live and learn to live again...

But i realize that I don't have that these days... And I realize I really have no one to really talk to anymore... I mean sure Chee Woh has really been great for these few months, but... I don't tell him everything either (it's not like he'll listen to me whine abt some guy right????? wait... then again.. hahahaha) But anyway... I just feel really really suffocated inside... i guess it's because I don't really have anyone or anywhere to just pour and ditch everything to to help me run away... or at least, to help me unburden and find the calm...

I'm heartbroken, directionless, unhappy... above all, I'm heartbroken...

Then again, i am sure there are worse situations in life to be in than mine.