The American Dream to The Tunes of Reuben's Accomplice

Sept 24th: 20 days till Homecoming:

How do i tell michelle that the most mundane and normal things that she does everyday like hanging out with her friends and going for shows are like fragments of a real-life dream to me?

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So went for the Japanese Student Association (JSA) barbecue with Justin in the afternoon. Met Hirota Sensei, Maya, Ai, Brandon, Rob and Daisy there again, so that was really nice.... nice and WEIRD to see that people you know from different social circles are all associated at one point! Either that or there are ALOT of Japanese students at CSUN and somehow or rather we all end up here lol ;)

Had a nice time just chatting and not understanding alot of stuff that was going on haha... BUT ahhh damn, let's take up Japanese again dammit!

HUGEEE skipping rope haha ;)

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Michelle Brown and The American Dream

Michelle drove up from Anaheim to get me so we could go for a show at Spaceland at around 3:30pm...

Somehow... hanging out with Michelle always gives me this weird feeling... Like I belong here, like I have a life here in this country... Like, I could be just like one of them...

It was the best feeling ever, in her car and The Format was playing on the car radio, looking out through the window and at Michelle... THIS was hanging out, you know, American style lol ;) I don't know, i guess.... it's the feeling of being part of something... part of this country, and not just an immigrant, 20 days before depature back home nevertheless...

She should be driving.... NOT taking pictures!

We went back down to Anaheim and then to the place where michelle's friend Heather was living. And the most surreal thing happened. So I go into this big big house, and didn't know anyone, and then i follow michelle and heather through the house to this bedroom and there was this guy giving a tattoo to a girl and 3 other girls were there... And i was like "wtf? where did this come from??" it's like walking into an episode of the OC hahahahaha or Laguna Beach or something, haha whatever!

Tattoo!!! Michelle took this pic on her sidekick..

Anyway... We stayed there real long and i was just sitting the room...

I know for a fact, I would never belong in this world because I don't. I can't carry a normal conversation, I don't know why... Maybe I don't know enough American pop culture, I don't know enough about American culture, or simply, maybe I just don't know....

But the thing was that though... Michelle came to sit with me and asked me if I was bored and I was like thinking "totally no man..." I mean... sureeeee i felt out of place (cause heck! i didn't even know whose house i was in!) but.... it was just great being able to just be there, you know...

Being so close to depature date, the end of this dream, here we were just hanging out with a bunch of people (and a bunch of people i didn't know to add to that!) but hell, you know, THIS was an experience in itself... these were the times that I had never imagined 5 years ago back in malaysia, that I would get to experience one day... what it feels like to just hang out with a bunch of people... American.... OC style ;) lol! But you get me?

And then Michelle went smoking with heather outside the house and DAMNNN the most surreal conversation happened... Heather has that depth to her that I can't explain... But they got to talking about Heather wanting to leave California for Washington state and Michelle not wanting her to go... and I swear it was like a conversation that popped out of some movie... It really did!!

"Why do you have to leave?"
"Because I can't make it out here"

Really!

Anyway... We met up with Michelle's best friend Kim and left Anaheim to get to Spaceland near Sunset for the Reuben's Accomplice show... We we travelling down the 10 i think... and we approached LA by night... And I love the LA skyline... Something about it always reminds me of a dream come true.... And I think it will always do that to me... But today... That night, that whole day travelling through the freeways across LA county (i never realized poor michelle has to pratically drive through the entire LA county to get to me)... that was wonderful you know... to feel like residents of this place and to still feel the magnitute of this dream...

the lights in LA were beautiful... they always are...

We were coming back from the show and Kim played Reuben's Accomplice's song Lost Sun (it's the song playing on the blog right now)... and it was just such a lovely sountrack to a very surreal day... driving under the night lights of the Los Angeles skyline through the streets and freeways... I just couldn't help but feel... how surreal, how beautiful, it was all like a dream...

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Somewhere towards the end of the night, michelle and I were sitting in the lounge in spaceland, trying to get warm and feeling sleepy.... And.. I don't know maybe it's because I was going to leave so soon and all these are coming to and end soon and I knew that... It was just weird being there you know, just lounging there like I was part of this, like this life could last, like this life was what my life is... like this was normal... that was just the weirdest best feeling I had you know...

and it was sad... that at that moment i was thinking that "how weird" because I knew I was leaving soon and this will probably never happen again, and that tonight, this whole day out with Michelle, surreal it was... was probably the last I'd have to touching... the Ameircan Life.

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Anyway, if Michelle is reading thsi right now she's probably laughing and thinking I'm weird to be thinking all these... But really, Michelle, the most normal and ordinary of lives that you have, being able to see and be part of that life even for a moment, for a day, for an hour, it is a living a dream for me... And thank you, you know, for all those times you have opened and shared this world with me, to allow me to experience this dream for real... and I'll always love you for that, and I'll always miss you for that.... you're what makes America so great, remember?