into the void

Yay~

new story!

Well ok, actually it's a damn short one but I've not written since Boston last year, Singing in the Sky, so... it's nice to write another one again.. I suppose.

Was inspired by Robbie's email, kevin, a few other things these days... and a few songs... No, not really The Gin War. That was just the title of Robbie's email or was it my email to him? hmm... But anyway, it was just inspired by the feel and the flow of a few songs while i was driving to college today... I forgot which songs though. Rescued was one of them. But i guess it's just the feeling I felt today and the words that just came into my head.

I had meant for it to be from a guy's point of view, but I don't think the feelings i wrote about would mirror that of a guy's... And also, by the time i reached college and actually sat down to write the words i had in my head, I had forgotten most of them! haha!

here goes:

http://www.bandwagonmusic.com/The_Gin_War.pdf

COMMENT!

"If I can only look past the delusions towards an objective reality..."

I think i caught of a glimps of the objective reality today... I hope i can sustain this disillusionment.

Why do we always seem,
To want what we can't have?
Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart,
And it says still run back for more.

I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that she really loves you.
But it breaks my heart,
To know I can't hold you.

It's just hard to think
I'll never get the chance
To say your mine.

If I can only look past the delusions towards an objective reality, then i would be free from this enslaving mire of longing for someone I cannot have.

No Keith, sometimes you can't really say what you feel so strongly inside your heart... Because truth has power. And truth has consequence. and Truth changes things..

today i miss LA.



I miss recognizing LA.



I miss knowing LA.



I miss the familiarity of it's places and sights and shapes and looks and the feel of it.



It's different when you look at a picture of places you've been to-- there's always a sense of attachment to it-- it's just a different feel, looking at pictures of LA and looking at pictures of Paris where I've only visited once. It just looks and feels different. There's just a feeling of "Yes, I knew this once" and there's always a personal memory or a flashback and a feeling of closeness and familiarity that a picture of Los Angeles evokes.



I miss LA.



and right now, today, I really wish i was back there once again.

TOKYO (Reuters) - Police found more than 8,000 pieces of women's clothing and lingerie in the home of a Japanese man who stole the items so he could sleep buried in them.

Happosai doing what he does best!! Stealing women's bras and underwear!

Dudeeee real life Happosai!!! They DOOOO exist in Japan yo! I suppose, ONLY IN JAPAN! >___<

Today was a good day. Nigel-was-happy-today Day. Yay~~~~ ^_^

Tomorrow is dooms day. Nigel-did-not-give-me-CD-meeting-with-Mrs. Tan Day! Shuckss........................... >___<

Then again if Nigel is lazy to do the work...... Actually, i am damn lazy to work too.

So yeah nothing eventful happen today again. Got home at 3am yesterday taking CW around and kidnapping Lillien for abit haha! We went to A&Ws on the way home at SS2 we were talking about Nigel and then suddenly we passed this wedding/bridal store "LOVE VISION"... wth.............. -_-

Woke up at 9... but got to church at 10:30... i thought service started at 10:30 but NO, it starts at 10... so i was HALF-AN-HOUR-LATE. But i did get the gists of the sermon which was quite a warning.

Then I decided to go to Shangri-la Hotel to get Nigel cake. coz he said the cake i got him before was sucky!!! wth... SO ANYWAYS... yes... I saw an accident happen right in front of me at Lot 10... the car spun out of control and slammed into a parked Taxi.... I was just behind... I just left the scene. It's good coz if i was just 5 second later, i'd have gotten caught in a jam man!

Then got the cake. Stupid cake. 2 pieces costs $30... wth.... Parking for 20 mins costs $8... wth... to hell wid these stupid posh places.

Then went to cw's. His parents weren't in, I wanted lunch, wuahahaha and i promised i'd get him back within an hour. It was 1... i was suppose to meet Nigel at 3. So then we stayed on wuahahaha... So teman la go Nigel's place. En route we drove around to see houses (we've been seeing damn lot of houses lately!) then went to Nigel's. He was in a good mood woo~~!!!!! nice~

So stayed to talk wid nigel for an hour. DUDE HIS SISTER IS CUTE (errr un-nigel?? wuahahahah). hahahhaha ohhhhh Elaines can be so cute huh!! dudee wot abt THIS Elaine???? >___<

So ya lor, talked abt some stuff lor. VISION, all d latest pakto updates wuahahaha, stuff cw and i do, etc. etc.. But he was happi today NORMAL NIGEL MOOD WOO! (as u can see dis is the THIRD time i repeated this, it's for EMPHASIS!) hahaha so it was good haha... Kinda miss having nigel around. Tho of all the MC students I know him the longest but I've seen him the least especially lately. Always insult him when wid cw, but actually dun talk to him much abt anything. So it was kinda realy nice all of us joking around again like back then.

Anyways... it's decided... CW is a petfish in a fish bowl happily swimming oblivious he's in a fish bowl =P. Nigel is in a pond (which he hopes will one day lead to the ocean if he swam downstream (fat chance dude u will never reach there!!! look at my bro!! DAH TIGA TAHUN TAK SAMPAI SAMPAI YO!!!! =P)). And I, worst of all, is in Nigel's frigging CUP. Worse is that he has me by the tail and drags me out of the water from time to time just to toy around with me. wth... how did i end up THERE??? tragic. we're all controlled. But I would SOOOOOOOOO kawtow and sembah the person who can control Nigel Yong WOAH! hahahahah

ok enuf....

Dude i hope tomorrow i can do something.... coz i know i going to be damn depressed tmrw with Mrs. Tan =( *sigh* it has been a fun week the past 2 weeks at least.

Well i realized just now that i am a complete totally utter Lecturer-Advisor failure.

I have completely failed to get the Vision work done because I was completely unable to treat Nigel as a student.

meh

>__<

how depressing.

On the other hand. i do so like the happy Borat-ish Nigel WAYYYYYYYYY better than the moody one. Dude... I suppose he's abit like me-- Always crappy and when he's not, he turns scary.

So, yesterday was a good day because Nigel was his old crappy self again-- hoorah. I rather have that-- i suppose.

as for Vision?

dude i dunno.........

Meeting is with Mrs Tan in an hour... and I suppose as i first said to Nigel all those months ago....... "WE ARE THROROUGHLY FUCKED!!!"

yes.

the situation calls for that degree of explicitness.

"I have tried every since he died to make his sacrifice meaningful," she wrote. "Casey died for a country which cares more about who will be the next American Idol than how many people will be killed in the next few months while Democrats and Republicans play politics with human lives."

"I will try to maintain and nurture some very positive relationships that I have found in the journey that I was forced into when Casey died and try to repair some of the ones that have fallen apart since I began this single-minded crusade to try and change a paradigm that is now, I am afraid, carved in immovable, unbendable and rigidly mendacious marble."

- Cindy Sheehan, the California mother who became an anti-war leader after her son was killed in Iraq.

i really don't want to do Vision anymore. please please please please please please please Nigel PLEASE JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN CD SO I CAN GET THIS OVER WITH. I don't want to think about 06 work anymore, enough, enough enough. it had been fun now it's just a pain in the ass.