i dont understand what you love about her but you do and i've got to accept that.
as much as I say I don't want you i guess the truth is that it hurts so much only because I DO want you.
Sometimes, like last night, I don't want you to go to sleep because at least today I have you... But when tomorrow comes I know you might be gone. I know you might just slip away and not be mine anymore. And the reason why I don't go home everyday is because I don't want to lose you... even though I know, that like right now, you're with her, probably fucking her... I have lost you.
It's only inevitable.
And I'm stupid enough to wish and to hope that I can delay the inevitable from happening.
I wish you don't tell me about it. Don't tell me that you've fucked her.
Please don't tell me today that you've fucked her. Please don't tell me how good it was. Please don't. Don't because I don't have the strength to leave. Don't because I'm only gonna get fucking heartbroken... And don't because I just might be strong enough to continue on being a fool with you.
I just wish you'd still fuck me, even though you've fucked her...
I meant everything I said in the dream even though you wouldn't even know what I said in the dream since you weren't the one who dreamt it.
Why do you love her?
I wish you didn't. I wish she was a lie too.
But I know that even though you said she was walking around with the liar in your heart, I know that she is the truth and I am the lie. That between you and yourself and the moments that for no reason you would message her just to say hello, in those moments, I can see the truth in you and the truth is that she means the hell alot to you and you love her.
She isn't a lie, my dear. Even if you yourself can't see that. I can.
I wish you weren't fucking her right now.
But I know, you probably are.
And there is no point trying to wish it otherwise.
There is no point in thinking further...
There is no point in hoping that you could be mine for always. Not you. Not before. Not now. Not ever.
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