Happy CNY year of the castrated bull to you all.
Thanks to all who are still reading =)
Sorry for the lack of updates.
Don't feel like being online much these days. Have things I am thinking about but usually when I'm driving, when I get home, I just don't bother anymore. ha!
ANYWAY.
Went to see Ms. D'cruz at KDU the other day. Ms. D'cruz was my Psychology, Social Psych, Organizational Psych and Biz Comm lecturer when I did my ADP program. She's like one of those perfectionist, utterly brilliant, has zero tolerance towards stupid people, kind of teacher--- SO!!!! It's actually incredibly surprising that I did well in her classes and she favoured me a student and saw the "potential" in me! lol... REALLY, Ms. D'cruz!!!?!
She also taught my brother, but she's always telling me "Elaine, you should learn to live out of his shadows! You have so much talent too and so much to offer!"
REALLY, Ms. D'cruz?!?!
For someone who doesn't tolerate stupidity, it's a real wonder how i got in her good books! Seriously!
But then again, I really do think that social science is my forte, and it's quite a waste I never pursued this field.
Anyway... Yeah, so I met Ms. D'cruz.
I don't think I want to talk about how much I've failed in life-- because that would take up entire volumes.
I don't think I've failed entirely perse... But... From what we were, from where we stood, those years when we were doing our ADP, from when I was 18 and hopeful, from all I was, from all these "potential" that Ms. D'cruz says we have...
I really do think we've wasted it all away.
Everything that gave us, that gave me, an edge-- I feel that in the course of the past 2 years, the moment I decided to step into that plane at LAX in Los Angeles, I've unwittingly chipped away and fractured it into an irreversible collapse.
When I entered the car after speaking to Ms. D'cruz, all I could think was.... Of the thousands of paths that I could have chosen, the thousands of choices that would have given me a life less ordinary, of the thousands and great many things I could have been, I CHOSE, instead... to be a teacher.
How much further can you fall from all that you could have been?
Monday, January 26, 2009
great many things
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