i think the reason why i am depressed is because i ca't find something that i actually like about myself. I don't know... usually, at least for the last year or two, i've always been able to find a certain sstrenth in me to love and to appreciate about myself that makes me need and want others less that gives me the strength to say fuck you to everyone and anyone who fucks with me. yet now i find myself needing so much, find myself having needing to depend on others for my own happiness... for my own selfworth? I can'tfind something to love, to like about me, i just can't. i am painted with ugliness and i can't seem to define myself. i don't know what happened but i just lost it you know. i can't find one thing to like about me. to like about myself. and i hate that, i hate that becasue i can't dig myself out of this....
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
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