ひとりの夜もそばにいようぜ　君と僕の歌を歌う

yes i am back home but i am begining to remember why i didn't wanna come back =P

anyways i didn't get to buy the AKG concert tickets and i am a little sad because they damn kick ass and i think they are beyond superb and yes i am listening to their song now and it's still not killing me... instead of saying i love AKG i think i'm just going to keep saying that they are just awesome and amazing and incredibly talented and they are so great...... hmmm

ok anyways. Not like anyone's listening but a shout out to Yan Yee, thanks soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for trying to get the tickets for me. You're awesome!!!!!! And also, another shout out to Aya-chan her MOM!!! for being so cool!!! hehehe.... lemme quote Aya-chan's email...

"Yeah,, I did ask my mom about AKG's concert ticket.Then, first, she said, "They're awesome!" So I simply asked her whether shecould get a ticket or not. Then she told me that unfortunately she was not amembership of fan-club for Asian Kung-Fu Generation YET, so she said itwould be difficlt to get a ticket.( Actually she said "two tickets" so iasked her "why two?" and she siad "one for Elaine-chan and one for me Oka-san") But she tried. she called concert ticket company for one hour buti'm sorry she couldn't get it."

Thank you so much to lovely Aya-chan!! and her okasan! thanks!!!! I hope we remain friends for long and i won't dissapoint you!!!

so anyways......

AKG.... watashi wa erm... anata no ongaku ga totemo *insert some Japanese word her for the following description: awesome, great, amazing, brillaint, outstanding, shining, kick ass, kicked my ass, totally and absolutely simpley just beyond awesome*......... alright... as u can see, I AM listening to AKG now, Jihei Tansaku.... i have absolutely NO IDEA whatsoever he's singing except "dare ga hero" but whatever, they are just beyond man... whether or not i understand their words or not.

Anyway, thank you again Yan Yee, Aya-chan, Aya-chan no okaasan, Masa, Mayuko-san, Ryota and everyone who has so freely and unselfishly made themselves available to the onslaughts of my obsessive impulses. Thank you so VERY VERY VERY much for tolerating me and being soooooooooooooooo awesome towards me when i really don't deserve it. You're what makes life beautiful and worth living for and make me remember that this world can be nice afterall... Thanks!!!!!!

i was reading this book today Into Thin Air.... that book about the 1996 Mount Everest disaster. Didn't know that it was actually written by a "fellow" journalist.

It's a great book actually. I enjoyed it immensely except for the ever-great "American Flaw" which is the characteristic of being ethnocentrically crtical and judgemental of non-Anglo people. I totally hate that. Like how he's very critical of the mistakes made by the non-whites Sherpas, the Russian guide, the Japanese expedition and client-- i just didn't like how he generalized the actions/words of these non-whites as being the culture and nature of all Russians, Sherpas, Japanese. I just didn't like his generalization and making it seems as if all Sherpas, Russians and Japanese are irresponsible and selfish. While on the other hand, for the white people, the mistakes and actions/words of these people were attributed to personal and individual qualities. Also, when he does mention the heroism of the Sherpas it is often attributed also as a cultural quality instead of individual effort as he did with the white people. I don't know why alot, and i do mean alot of even the most well meaning white people are like that, seriously... You know, just cause you're white, doesn't mean you're great. I mean, I may be a little dim-headed, shitty reporter, has less of a flair for words and much smaller vocabulary than this dude, but really, i am not totally dumb and what i know i do have is the ability to be critical when the enthocentric flag is raised.

ANYWAYS... those glitches aside, what i did enjoy about his book is his humor... damn great man... Lemme quote from his book.

"When it came time for each of us to assess our own abilities and weigh them against the formidable challenges of the world's highest mountain, it sometimes seemed as though half the population at Base Camp was clinically delusional"

"But perhaps this shouldn't have come as a surprise. Everest has always been a magnet for kooks, publicity seekers, hopeless romantics, and others whith a shaky hold on reality."

Mannnnnnnnn classsic!

I also liked how, i guess.... it wasn't so noticable until the end in the afterwords when he was arguing the validity of his accounts in the book, he brings out/cites a wealth of information that he had double checked with other survivors/people who were there whom he had interviewed... And there was another dude who published another book The Climb who challenged this dude's account of the disaster........ And u know what, when this dude backed up all his facts with his interview transcripts, etc....... all i can say is, you know what, sometimes it's almost impossible to challenge a truly experienced reporter who is concretely backed up by solid notes. That was when the true journalistic qualities of this book shines through.

Anyways....... His book made me realize, or realize even more, the great use of journalism u know...... I mean, i guess i seriously just really need to learn to love reporting... But the skills u aquire as a reporter is really cool. It really really teaches you alot on how to contact the right people, how to come up with an angle, who to contact, how to try to get people who don't want to talk to talk and how to get people who talk to talk to you abt the things you want to know, how to ask the right questions to get the information you need, to know what questions to ask to begin with..... it's great u know, what reporting can teach you......

And u know....... I love music, and in many parts of me, i love cross cultural studies..... i just wish i could find a way to intergrate those two with reporting and do something in my life that amounts to something significant in the end, you know what i mean? I don't think i can do it, but i sure as hell want to.

i am dissapointed with:

1) fucking life. fucking shit, stuck in LA for another 3 days man. wtf! ouh man...... i am ready to go home now, please lemme go backkkkkkkkkkkkkk....... i wanna go backkkkkkkkkkkkk......... sighhhhhhhhhh............. TOTEMO TSUMARANAI!!!!!!! TOTEMOOOOO.......... sighhhhhh.......
2) my family. some. curently i love my mom, my dad and my brother and yes, my godparents and my "god brother" wuahahahhaha...... geez Dez is my godbrother huh??? goshhhhhhh. is he suppose to be like setting an example for me or something???
3) my friends. some. sorry. KONON JE LAH KAWAN.
4) myself. shite.

To die, to sleep: no more!
And by a sleep to say we end the heartache
And the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to.
To die, to sleep; to sleep, perchance to dream:
Ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause!

Shakespeare was talking abt suicide here........ not dreams... the dreams he's reffering to is the retribution in afterlife for the mortal sin of suicide (Christianity). Yeap... that 1 1/2 years of A-Levels, that's what i learnt.

And from Shakespeare... here's Brand New's song Moshi Moshi.

What do I do when you get close?
If I kissed your neck, would you slit my throat?
Are you thinking of me when you're putting on your makeup,
darling, and dying your hair like you do
Well you're wasting time if you're trying to impress me
I waste all my time just thinking of you

And I'm not imagining how you give me the shivers,
standing up to your waste in your river
You're the sweetest boat-builder I think I've ever seen
Dream in Japanese, dream in Japanese,
some language I don't even know how to speak
You're still pretty and I am still choked up,
it's probably just the same
The more I hang around you,
the more hang-ups I get (more hang-ups I get)

Are you thinking of me when you're putting on your makeup, darling,
and dying your hair like
you do? (dying your hair like you do)
Well you're wasting time if you're trying to impress me
I waste all my time just thinking of you

I know that you're an angel,
though you could never stay true (you could never stay true)
Hey angel, I think your halo has a screw loose,
'cause you dropped me like a brick off the rooftop of your high school
Could I watch the next time you're applying your eyeliner?
I waste all my time just thinking of you


Both as definitive of how i feel right now.

i think the reason why i am depressed is because i ca't find something that i actually like about myself. I don't know... usually, at least for the last year or two, i've always been able to find a certain sstrenth in me to love and to appreciate about myself that makes me need and want others less that gives me the strength to say fuck you to everyone and anyone who fucks with me. yet now i find myself needing so much, find myself having needing to depend on others for my own happiness... for my own selfworth? I can'tfind something to love, to like about me, i just can't. i am painted with ugliness and i can't seem to define myself. i don't know what happened but i just lost it you know. i can't find one thing to like about me. to like about myself. and i hate that, i hate that becasue i can't dig myself out of this....

ouh man......... looks like March is gonna be a week really cut out for me *sigh* then again, it's the week before spring break...... i wish i really really wish i can really go to Japan during spring break to see AKG........ but the again that's another one on the long list of my "broken dreams"

shite.

PERnant Ian: ok, time to deploy some Taking Back Sunday, my own personal Zoloft
PERnant Ian: hopefully they'll make me feel better
PERnant Ian: i tell u
PERnant Ian: i think a TBS pit really is my best anti-depressant
PERnant Ian: dunno why when u go in there
PERnant Ian: get crushed to death
PERnant Ian: go breathless and nearly pass out from screaming to the songs too much
PERnant Ian: THAT, is like THE cure man

But i am serious. it's like everything fades when i get into that pit. I don't like mosh pits much cause it's really dangerous really. But sometimes when i am depressed, getting into a TBS pit is like the best thing in the world. not in the world lah. but one of the best instantaneous cure. you sing and scream and scream your lungs out with the band and the damn crowd is crushing you, and then crowd surfers is trying to kill u with their flying kicks...... ouhhhhhhhhhhh mannnn...... at the end of the set (which is always da shittiest part), you're left with a stupid smile on your face stretched from one end to another end and an immense lightness of being floating inside u. Damn great! and you're like cannot hear anything, still cannot breathe well, voice gonna be gone.... but mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn it's like this relaxing feeling and a calm inside that washes over you and you're just like "ouhhhhhhh mannnnnnnnnnn that was the greatest thrill ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" BEST BEST BESTS songs to sing/scream/drown/die to in the pit.... Cute Without The E, Decade Under the Influence (AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGG!!!), You're So Last Summer, Great Romances of the 20th Century, Timberwolves at New Jersey............... AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhh damnnnnnnnnnnnnn where's TBS when i need them????????????

Yeap..........

if u ask me what a TBS pit means to me, that's what it means to me.

New layout! New song! New bg! the flowers are abit annoying to me.... so if it's annoying to you too, please tell me... =D

Song: Argh... I am a Pirate by Zolof the Rock Destroyer. they are a fun fun fun fun band =D

Alright, i think i need to redesign, like REALLY redesign the blog........ since i am gonna go back to Malaysia i think i'll do it then.... But abit lazy to deal with CSS and HTML. It's like brain won't function.

Please feel free to leave comments......... show me i'm loved....... I'm abit of the insecure and sensitive type ;) ABIT is an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

I dun think that courtney love.... yeapppp... courtney love gets the credit she deserves for her lyrics. I think her lyrics are simply brilliant. I think her lyrics have alot of truth in them that only a person like Courtney Love who has gone through all she has can write something like it.

Hey, this life is never fair
The angels that you need are never there

We all get our glory
A little bit of fame
But there's no truth at the heart of any of it
Just the brilliance and the passion
And the bitterness remains

Oh how he brings me down
Oh, down into the ground
I never will get out
And I never will get out

And I'll protect you from the night
It will never fall
I'll protect you from the truth
Won't hear it at all

When you're in the whirlpool
And they try to suck you in
Remember, you aren't gonna drown
Baby, 'til you have been alive
Hang on to me, forever baby
I could always swim

Hush, your highness
Don't you breathe
Baby, hold me in your arms
I'm shivering
But what's all that for?
If I was the battle
Baby, you have won the war

And I love this whole song.... "Never Gonna Be The Same" the best...... i think it's just absolutely brilliant... and seriously, i think only Courtney Love could have written something so tragically brilliant.

Cut me up today
Should've stood in your way
You lied

And everywhere a dream
Nothing came between
I died

Give me a way
I will not bleed for you
God comes down

Never gonna be the same
Never gonna be the same
Never gonna be the same

And if you wanted water
And if you want food
And if you want shelter
I can not come over to you
And if you want love now
Or a needle and a spoon
You gotta show a little faith in me now baby i can't come over to you
It's never gonna be the same
Never gonna be the same
God come on down

And if you want out
Sitting by the bay
Well the sun went down tomorrow
It will not come up today
And if you want love now
Or rapture un so cruel
If there's a god it's me
Now baby i can not come over to you
It's never gonna be the same
She drew me in anyway
She lied

You gotta show a little faith
In your old rugged cross you made
What goes up must it go down and down and down
You cried.

And if i wanted fame now
All the glory all the womb?
And if i want my name emblazened in all the light in you
And if i wanted Christ or a Messiah by my side
I can't believe in anything i know that mary lied
Sucked you up today
Could've gone in your way
Oh mary lied

Do you know
Can you feel it
Do you feel me
Yeah
And if you wanted madness and if you want whats pure
Well you gotta come over to me baby my life doesn't reach to you and
If you want love so unconditional and real you gotta ride
That black horse baby through the depths of hell that i've been
follow me away
Yeah though I walk
I will be the same
Strongest one to name
Through the valley of life
I'm gonna be the same
Goodnight goodnight goodnight
Ah goodnight
Oh you'll never be the same

BRILLIANT!!!!!

and of course... only courtney love can write lines like this and mean it.

I am the centre of the unverise
I am the centre of the universe
I am the centre of the universe

couple of things...

taking back sunday still leaves me breathless....... and i don't just mean that methaphorically. It's true... hahaha..... standing their mosh pit screaming my lungs out, seriously, couple of times was gonna pass out. And da thing is that they keep putting Decade Under The Influence right before Cute Without The E. So like I am screaming my head off, and always till the "bridge" second last part when he sing "Anyone will do tonight Anyone will do tonight Close your eyes, just settle, settle Close your eyes, just settle, settle. Well I got a bad feeling about this, I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on). I'm coming over but it never was enough I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you" ouh mannnnnnn........ i tell u.... i always feel like the air going out of my lungs these parts........ awesome awesome...... THEN after the song ends, they play Cute Without The E, and then AGAIN!!! it's screaming time!!! woooooooo ahhhhhhh... I realize from yesterday's show..... cause it was in Universal Amphitheater and it was like a Radio show... KROQ Acoustic Christmas, so the mosh pit was TOTALLY quiet during TBS' set cause 1) there are very little people who can get the pit tickets... 2) there are very little hardcore fans in the pit cause there are like 10 other bands playing and it was already so hard to get the pit tickets itself.
ANYWAYS! so what i found also is that, heheheeh, with or without the energy of the crowd, i think your own madness and the band's energy is enough to make it the same anywya!!! still damn great!!!

ALSO, i was happy.... i met Matt and got to say hi and hehe, he remembers meee~ nice to be remembered by a band you love =D

okies........ found a pic of my bro with Karen but she didn't like it =PPP hahahahha..... but gave me a REALLY Cute one of them together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so cute that i even overcame my laziness and reposted this post the third time to upload the new pic!!! so cute hehehe ^^

your girl is lovely, Huble.... hmmm... i wonder how she can stand my brother ;)

My heart is starting to thaw
From the day I lost my voice, colors sprouted up
The drops that escape from my extended hands
Shine on this place, thinking of the future

So.... erm now that japanese class is over i suddenly feel like watching anime. what the hell. well i dunno how to feel.

With trivial words and casual gestures With my song I just want to ascertain myself of my feelings that are coming apart

I dunno what he's singing tho... which is kinda hard to let a song say what u mean when u don't understand what it's saying, and farther even from understanding what it really means.
I dunno... i feel abit empty now that it's all gone and there are not thrills left to bitch about. Patheticness is still a topic to ponder upon even though it's a shitty topic to have to concern youself wth. But still... and now, i am left with frays i guess. that i can't really grasps or understand how to feel. better to have nightmares, better to have broken dreams than to be dreamless perhaps?

i want to understand these songs more than just the music because the music speaks what i feel but i need the words to say what i can't articulate.

Ahhh if only i was a little more bold, with a little more guts. Perhaps perhaps, life might have been also just a little more different.

Haido-san welcome back.

Thought that it's about time i put up a haido pic. Wanted to do it cause i dun give the dude enough credit for being a brilliant singer/songwriter. So i put a pic of him (where he's still as cute of coz, that can't be helped) but him playing a guitar and singing cause u know, he REALLY IS MORE than just a pretty face. Was listening to Shallow Sleep English version just now, the guy is great lah, the song is so beautiful and his English is perfect, pronounciation pun...

So please, lets all dun forget, he's a great songwriter. =) cause heh, can quite easily be overwhelmed by his cuteness sometimes ^^

BUT NO, i actually liked Haido for his music first before his face... hehehe... was listening to shallow sleep on one of the websites and it really grabbed me immiediately..... so there u go, he doesn't need his face to be a great songwriter ^^

i guess i should post something huh? well i wanted to post some stuff just never got round to doing it.... first, congratulations to AKG, they finally made it up to top 25 most played on my playlist with their songs Compass (Rashinban) and Kaigan Dori, yeap! They should have been there a long time ago but da thing is that when i play AKG i usually loop all 50 songs, thus it takes quite a while before it gets a repeat.... and also like i got multiple of the same songs... like Kaigan Dori has two copies... so there's 29 plays on one, 18 on the other.... etc etc.... these reasons are also why alot of the TBS Tell All Your Friends songs are not on top 25 either... damn this song is so good "Jihei Tansaku"... and the only words i understand is "dare ga hero..." something something.... I guess he's asking who's the hero something something huh?

Anyway, Japanese class is officially over. Kinda bummed out of my tests abit, shite... Sigh, i hope i can still get an A in the class....... i mean, how can i say i like Nihon no koto if I can't even get the language right? *sigh* PLUS, if i don't get the language right, then i'd never be able to understand AKG in my life! =( *long sigh* ;)

And also, yesterday *heart flutters* my brother said my paper was well written *smiles*.... whaada complimentttt although of course, it must have been just a B to him or he was expecting something real shitty from me..... I sent him one of this journalism research paper I wrote for my international news media class last semester.... he wanted to use it wuahahahahha... erm i know it's kinda plagarism but anyways! He said it was good actually =D wooooo *ahhh contented*.... u know it's like your favourite writer telling u that u have a B grade story....... ahhhh good enuf for me...

And ALSO, saw cute guy yesterday.... But for the first time in my life, i chickened out and didn't dare to force the moment to it's crisis.... I didn't say "hi" as i told myself the whole weekend that i would if i saw him on monday *sigh*.... perhaps I've 'learnt'???? RIGHHHTT sighhhhhh why elaine why did u chicken out?

*sigh*

hope i see him again today. Moo ichi... something something... =D

anyways... please if u could, go check AKG songs out at: http://akfg.sayuri.us/dl/audio_c.htm

And i leave u with......... AKG!! yayayayayay!!!

Elaine Loh is currently in her senior year pursuing a degree in Journalism at California State University, Northridge. She is also doing a collateral field in English at the same school. She completed her secondary school education at Senior Methodist Girls School Kuala Lumpur and continued her studies in the GCE A-Levels at Taylors College where she took English Literature, Sociology, Economics and Mathematics. After completing her A-Levels at Taylors College, she enrolled in the American Degree Program at KDU College in hopes of continuing her studies in America. Her interest lies in writing fictional stories but ever since discovering Journalism, she now hopes to be able to represent the voices and perspectives of the people and places she come across in her life through her writing.


What bullshit... i wonder when the hell did i write such shit. geezzzzzzzzzz


and the answer is i don't know.

hi hi...

thanks for the call... my birthday is on nov 15.. didn't really do much had class from 9am till 10pm.

anyway. i hope you're doing well in iowa. I hope your're not too lonely and i hope you will indeed find a girlfriend soon. i understand how you feel. i don't know what i feel these days. i don't think i want a boyfriend but i think i really want someone to be there. i want someone that i can call up for lunch or for dinner, someone i can hang out with, go shopping with and have fun with you know. Play Halo or something together, just sit there and watch TV together so that i don;t need to be alone all the time. And then there's another part of me which longs for something more fundametal. somewhere inside me that longs for that image of this guy and me and the cold wind blwoing (u know the wind in northrdige). And he's tightening the scarf around my nect and he's telling me "take care of yourself ok. it's cold" and i am smiling as he's carefully bundling me up so that i don't catch a cold and i know that i mean something to him because of the care in his hands and the look in his careful eyes as he makes sure everything is alright. something so fundamental and so damaging inside me wants that... and i guess i just want too much in life you know... i don't know... why do we always seem to want waht we can't have? and i still want it even i know it's just a fantasy, even though i know something like that can never happen. something in my head my fanatasy can never translate into life...

and i want so much more from life. i want to do so much more. i want to know the people i know i can't. i want to meet the people i know that it's just a fantasy, yet i still want it so childishly. but i still want it and i just don't know how to surrender a fantasy unless my heart dies. and give up on it because i burnt out...

and i want so much more. i want so many lives i can't ever achieve, i want so much more so many thins i know i am jst dreaming and i've alwasys been a dreamer but for california none of my dreams have ever come to be and sometimes it saddens me and makes me angry and frustrated with life for that....

anyway, do you know anyone working with Sony Music Japan or Kioon Record Japan? I want to TRY IF i can arrange a US tour for their band Asian Kung Fu Generation with an american band... i don't think i can but still, i guess i am stupid and a dreamer that way, i believe in trying too much even tho everyone else in the world says it's imposible but somewhere in my fucked up head, i don't see it that way.

I wish i could go to Kyoto. I'd like to live there one day... for a year... or maybe two... i want to capture the colors and the beauty that is the essense of the timelessness of kyoto even if it's just for a fraction of time in eternity.

Elaine

Look man, he actually translated my whole "fan mail" (posted Nov 22) into hiragana... what a bitch to do something like that man!! i mean first he had to translate it!! MANNNN that's like biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig job... then to write it in Hiragana only!!!! can't even use kanji cause i cannot write kanji!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ARIGATOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

soooooooooooooooo touched!! and he was willing to call Japan Kioon Records for me too!!! ahhhhhh sooooooooooooooooo nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh **sooooooo touched**

thank uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

What do people really think about you? by Raven319
Name
Age
favorite song
Parents think	You're an angel
Strangers think	You need a makeover
Friends think	You smell really bad
Quiz created with MemeGen!

You know... i realize i don't have a favourite song.... i mean they always differ... but at the mo i guess it's kaigan dori, i really want to make a video if it. I know Kaigan Dori kinda means Beach Road/path (like yellowcard's Ocean avenue wuahahaha wtffff!!! waht an insult to AKG's Kaigan Dori) but i think i want to make my video with scenes river.... i hope, REALLY REALLY REALLY hope Kurata-san would be able to lend me his camera........ yeh, i still have an inability not to call Kurata-san Kurata-san cause HE IS STILL MY TEACHING ASSISTANT. right? ouh damn my asian mentality.

You know... i realize the answers to this Quiz is right.

why do we always seem to want what we can't have? why do i always seem to long for something i can never achieve can never grasps?

and i see you and there you are. and you're saying hold my hand but i can't understand but what i do understand is the look in your eyes and the softness in your hands as you brush my hair back and wrap the warmth of the scarf around my neck tigther against the cold and you say to me "take care of yourself okay" and i know that i mean something to you as i smile in my heart inside.

and i want you there in the moment though i know i can never posess you in which life said no because there's just fantasy and there is always something called reality, something that is always there.

but i do want something. why fantasize when it's so painful knowing and always realizing that you are only a fool with wishful thinking? childish wantings? inmature desires? why why why can't i finally grow up?

Well... here's one of the dummy magazine design i had to make for my Graphics class this semester....

damn lah i really like Asian Kung Fu Generation....... shite....... shud stop listening to them then maybe i wun like so much.

ANYWAY

i am abit depressed. actually not depressed but sad u know... cause tomorrow is the last Japanese class....... and u know....... I really DID learn some stuff.... I mean i still can't understand conversational japanese but at least i can read kana and hiragana and know some words and know how to form basic formal sentences........

sigh i miss the class lah. and we have a really cool class too....

sigh.......

i hate the end of semesters........

really, it's like the end of something (as my brother phrases it).....

the end of the semester is really like the end of school.......

sighhhhhhh

i feel like sucked out.

sigh..

got japanese sketch tomorrow... hopefully i remember my lines.

AKG IS COOL.

go listen to their songs.... really. they're good.... maybe u wun think they are brilliant but i guarantee u that u will at least like their songs... serious.

ok..

sigh..

Well i decided to check AKG's lyrics out yesterday.... and well, lets just say i am in love!!! wuahahahah....

actually, well there are some of his lyrics that i don't quite catch on cause they're frigging weird ok, think about the lights of the tokyo tower, i imagine that with some of his lyrics... on the other hand, he has some really beautiful lines. He utilizes nature alot in his lyrics. I wonder if this is a japanese thing or what, but his lyrics reminds me of like old japanese poetry (like those in Tale of Genji or those Heian period stuff) where he uses the imagery of snow, cherry blossoms, flowers... very beautiful, trafic, depressive, yet serene.

But as much as i love the English translation to the songs, i regret i cannot understand japanese because i think i'd love his lyrics even more. Because what i love about AKG even now is that:
1) he writes the type of lyrics i love.... reiterations. He repeats the same lines, the same phrases over and over again in different parts of the song but each time, or at some climatic point in the song, he changes a word or two... and this also brings me to point
2) when he changes the phrases, it sound very beautiful or well, very flowing and rhyming in Japanese, because basically, one or two syllable of the word changes sound which completely changes the meaning of the word altogether. makes it VERY beautiful... simply brilliant! (this is like Ash, what i love about Ash was that Tim did the same thing too, and this dude does it like WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY alot!! but damnnnnnnnnnn man, BRILLIANTLY)
3) i like his imageries alot.... like alot of the stuff that i pulled out and pasted here, i pasted them cause he talked about about stuff like memories and dreams, which has always been themes that i love.... like how i loved Ash 1977 because of Tim's references to stars all the time..... so yeah....

One thing though, about it is that.......... hehehehehehe........... i guess it's BETTER that i didn't understand the songs right now because i love them for the music.... and u know, this dude is brilliant cause NOT ONLY did he WRITE the lyrics, he wrote the MUSIC also!!! DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! what the hell....... But yeah.... I love AKG's music without listening to the songs..... But for some of the songs like Kimi to iu Hana (a flower called "you"), the song sounds so happy but the lyrics is damn tragic... Same with Kimi no Machi Made, it sounds like such a fun song but it's damn tragic! Or well... at least the translation is damn tragic...... anyways..... here are sample of his lyrics okay....

Knowing the answer, we seem to repeat ourselves
My heart beings to thaw, split finely
My reason for sadness is not filling in the crack
I'll scorch your heart with my impure hands

We seem to repeat the same mistaken answer
Feeling ill, my heart is gone
My depressed mentality is not filling in the crack
I'll break your dreams with my impure hands
(dat's the change i was talking about that i love)

The evening rain, the sound of the cicada, the illusions that are worth nothing
I'm just left behind, drifting
Drawing myself up haphazardly, I might as well pretend to be strong
A summer day, don't disappear afterimage, don't disappear

You lower your judgment, abandoning your impulses
An emotional argument, packed full of desires

In your one step forward, you lower your judgment
It's alright if you don't worry about your pace
Because you're going to tear things up

Ah, it's all boiled down to passions
Going round and round
But certainly when that's over
What will you use to satisfy yourself
Once, in the shadows of hope?

In our transparent desires
My heart that is dying out, looped
Moving forward somehow, unconcerned
A hesitant story
For how long will we lose things?
You know the real me, that I was hiding
Moving forward somehow, meaninglessly
A hesitant story

In short, everything was smashed up
In short, it was dancing in the wind
A drop shining in your eyes
Ah, thunder in the blue sky
If there is only pain, then it's divided between us, that's right
The color of the two of us
Until our white breath runs out
That road that we flew over
From atop a hill, I can see a flower called "you"
That has bloomed in the city, and will bloom again

Ahead in the twilight, is the moon lighted silver
We are projected as though in a mirror, carrying our helplessness and all
This song exists for me to fly to your town

You who are trembling and helpless
Will you one day become the wings of tomorrow that will save us?
(DAMN AWESOME!!!)

The shadows point at 2 o'clock
The wind blows through the gaps between the shining red trees
If only I could fly to your town
With only pain and sadness

You who are next to me, and un-serene
Will you one day become the wings of tomorrow that will save us?
I can't fly to beyond way over there, which is shining
But the time in which I'm flapping my wings won't disappear
(AWESOME AWESOME!!!)

The seasons pass, changing colors, feelings always do the same
You always run away as fast as you can

You who are trembling and helpless
Will you one day become the wings of tomorrow that will save us?
Even if I can't fly to a place that's like a dream
The time in which I'm flapping my wings won't disappear
(again, see how he changes the words........ awesomeeeeeeeee....)

The city is clearly colored in the approaching
Footsteps of winter, it dances

With trivial misunderstandings and a misunderstood heart
With my song I just want to hold back my feelings that are coming apart
(love that!)

Snatching away the passing time and breaking it
Even still, I'm tying together my memories

I mourn after cutting my sprouted feelings
I cry after realizing that I'm just mediocre
My rotted heart
A filthy lie

It's painful, the pain has already broken the illusion of our hopes and dreams
On the line between reality and ideals
(sounds like what i feel about all my trying to promote AKG in US!!!)

The light ahead in your muddy eyes does not disappear, on the street corner
It was in your heart, don't get rid of it
I wish for the unseen tomorrow ahead in you, unsounding
Surely, some day...

Your heart is ajar, I understand that
Don't reject how you were on that twisted day

Your heart has no light, but even so I'll wait for tomorrow
Don't let go of my hand
I wish for the unsounding space running through time
Surely, some day...
(DAMN, this whole song, i WISH someone would sing that to me!!! shite! so sweet!!)

You cried uneasily, I understand that
Even if the stick thorn won't come out

Those days you cried, shutting yourself away, I understand that
Don't reject how you were on that twisted day

What is left over of my melted heart
Won't recover as it is, my closed wounds are painful
On the cities street corners that I'm running through
Your siren echoes
Unveil it

Wail out, proof of life
Siren

The world belonging to you who has grown used to lies
I'll paint it white...
(one word... ok two: fking BRILLIANT!)

so anyways......... here's the dude..... he looks geekish and stuff =\ NOT exactly Haido neee hehehehehehehe..... but fcking brilliant!! shite... fcking brilliant! Like Tim Wheeler.... dang!!!!!!!!