Tuesday, August 31, 2004
12:03 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
God said to me today.... that i shud run the race in such a way that i may obtain the prize... means dun remeh temeh about stuff and give it all u got... But to do that... it requires PERSONAL DISCIPLINE (something which i SEVERELY lack), HARD WORK (hmmm, which i am too lazy to give due to lack of the first factor), and CONTINUAL IMPROVEMENT (which i am demotivated to accomplish due to the lack of the first two factors)....

However, this includes a SPRIT-ENABLED commitment to do out very best for the Lord.

Yo.

I dunno how to feel abt this. I wish more on the lines on "yes elaine, u can drop your Broadcast class"....

But somehow i am comforted and reminded.... Reminded firstly that in whatever i do anyway, cause i chose to give my life to Christ, i shud do all things the BEST i can for God yo. And comforted today, well knowing that that best dun just come from my own labor and effort but it is SPIRIT-ENABLED... comes from God yo.... So erm... lets just hope i'll tap into that resource... cause even before the week has begun, i feel so drained liao.
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Monday, August 30, 2004
6:12 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
here... to "celebrate" my rotten mood... nice lil story manga download....

~manga goodness~
[right click, save as yo... i think that'd work. read from right to left... i think]

and remember....... life don't happen that way... remember... it's only a MANGA...
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4:12 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
What is happiness?

Been thinking about it.

What is the quality of life?

How do you measure a life lived well?

By the feelings of achievement? Contentment?

What is the value, the measure to it?

How can we truly know?

How can i truly know.?

I'm not happy. i don't think i am.

Happiness comes at the moment when all the assignments are complete and you breathe a sigh of relief... but of that 1 second, that is happiness... and right after that you realize that life is not over yet and there are a billion more tasks to be fulfilled.

so what is happiness?

what is it?

what is it that make life, actually.... beautiful? and wonderful... after all...?
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Saturday, August 28, 2004
8:41 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *HEART BREAKS* EVERYBODY SAY:


"OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?????????????????????!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








[Click on pic for WHAT THE HELLLL????????????!!!
Read from RIGHT to LEFT yah!!!]


Once again.........
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



gomen.... i JUST had to add this!! cause i saw the pic and i went like "awwwwwwwwwwwe" damn... and i knew i had to post it up... so there u go, Haido-san! cute as ever as always! ^^


sighhhh.......... i REALLY can stare at him forever!!!
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Thursday, August 26, 2004
6:56 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
Inu-papa and Inuyasha.... Too bad Inu papa died. I think it was crap he died fighting a human albiet he was already mortally wounded when he started fighting that Taka-guy. Still... Sesshomaru would have never allowed that. But well, that's Inuyasha Movie 3. Good movie but like the rest of IY's movie, it falls short of being brilliant. I don't know why. All the elements are there, seriously, all 3 movies, especially this third one had all the elements needed to be a BRILLIANT film... but shit, u know, it always end up screwing up abit. I think the 2nd movie messed up the crucial point the least and totally gave fans what they wanted (yeap, that IY/Kagome kiss) but this third movie had all that it took to be one of the best of the 3 movies... But too bad...
Anyway, end of Inuyasha anime news....

SERIES FINALE: Sept 13 - Episodes #166-167"Futari no Kizuna - Shikon no Kakera o Tsukae!"The Bond of Two - Using the Shikon Shard!
Yes, I'm aware of the message on YTV's BBS regarding the last episodes of Inuyasha. Yes, according to Sunrise producer Machihiko Suwa's interview on Anime Scramble on Aug. 20, there likely will be more Inuyasha projects, but nothing further has been said.

Bond of the two..................... no shit, i hope Inuyasha and Kagome damn well BETTER end up together or I'll be looking for heads to decapitate.
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
7:44 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
say what you want abt the american education system, but i feel that when it comes to practical majors like Journalism, Film, and what not, America is still the best place for such an education.
I don't know how it's like in Australian system but i sure as hell know that my school got it right in their department... and you feel it more and more the higher level you go.

It's the one place you can walk into the comp lab and see people writing scripts. i mean what the hell.

But not just that, more on the area that i am more familliar with is my own Journalism Department.

At (college student) ungodly hour of 8:30am, i step into my first Journalism practicum class. As "class" progressed it felt more like a newsroom morning conference where rules are laid out, assignments are handed out, problems are discussed, matters regarding stories are brought forward. Everything is so real. Every student has something assigned and are part of the newspaper as we speak. Lecturer gives a word of praise on the first issue of the new semester. good signs. for now.

Then right after that I walk into a broadcast writing class. Yes, working for a radio station. Time slots are open and you sign up for the time you can work there. Teacher tells you about the newsroom, BROADCAST newsroom this time. Soundbites, awards, interviews, etc.

Basically walking down the hallways of the school i realized that so little of what i learn come from text books. Are more so, they let you out there, and by hook or by crook they expect that after 2 journalism writing class, you're absolutely ready to be a journalist. As the broadcast teacher said... and i can't quote her cause i did not write down the exact quote but paraphrasing she said that basically by the end of the semester the grades we get are based on not just what we get in class but wheter she feels at the end of the semester we can actually go into an actual broadcast station and work there professionally. And if we are, then we'll get an A. If there are still things we need to learn, it's a B, and so fourth.

It's amazing sometimes. I wonder if this was what my father paid $300,000 for me to have that perhaps is what Malaysia cannot offer. The chance to not be a student but actually experience the two words of being a "professional" in your field of study yet still being a student having to juggle the schedule of your other classes with story assignments from your editor.

They say you can bullshit your way through an american degree cause so much of american education is about discussion... And the dicussion part is true. But i feel that's also the beauty of the american system. The teacher always, ALWAYS, asks "do you have any question?"... and it doesn't promote silence and rote learning as other system do. You can't get away... and i REPEAT this: YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT get away with a degree here by simply attending class... Not in my department anyway... Cause seriously, the higher level you go into either one of the emphasis offered by the Journalism department be it General Print, Broadcast, or PR, there is simply NO WAY you can bullshit yourself through the ACTUAL HANDS ON assignments, there are NOT MANY discussion classes you can bullshit yourself through, and there are really even LESS memorization classes you can spew your way through. The teacher is sure as hell right, in the Journalism Department of CSUN, you really CANNOT get through it half assed!

And this, is something you certainly CANNOT get in anywhere but America.. The lecturer walking up to each student in the class, shaking them and introducing herself to each student PERSONALLY. "Hi. i'm Evelyn, and you are?"

"I'm elaine loh"

yeap... and i'm suppose to be able to be a journalist by the end of this semester????

I certainly hope to God that i would because, i can't even seem to be able to arrange for an interview for my second assignment when it's due in LESS than a week *sigh*

yeah, it feels professional and most definitely hands on and stuff, but it's sure as hell Journalism is REALLY not my cup of tea man..............
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
7:23 PM | Posted by | | | Edit Post

well, school started and i'm hating it already. the only class i seem to be liking is the Japanese modern culture class (in which i am ONLY sitting in for!! and not added or anything like that!). I brilliantly HATE all my Journalism classes and i've not even started on my latest assignment yet. I really should be because fuck, do you know how hard it is to obtain an interview with anyone????? Sigh... i shouldn't curse so much... I really hope God will help me because seriously, i'm having problems and trouble with this class... I wonder if they'd let me switch to be a photograper instead....
Japanese 101 class is fun but tough. I realized i cannot prounounce the words well. Thank God i actually met Yoshi in the hallway yesterday and he said he'd help me. I saw Hiro too and he already helped me with some.... Oh yeah, i forgot i actually have a Japanese housemate huh?
I absolutely don't like my Jour graphics class simply cause it's once a week on MONDAYS from 6-9:50pm.... argh........... and the teacher don't seem to want to let us out early either... so i am really lamenting that.
I know i said that I will do all the subjects i registered for this semester because i can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.......... but on my gosh, it's not even the second day yet and i already feel burnt out.... Mabbe it's the jetlag too cause i keep waking up real early.... God i hope this day will end early but i doubt it cause i have to go to the medical center and i pray hard i'd be able to obtain at least an interview... please please please please please.
on another note....



I really cannot understand some American kids these days. Sprint and all that are offering unlimited AOL IM for $9.99 a month and all those rates so that "you can instant message as much as you want 24 hours a day" from you frigging cellphone.
I mean hello dude DISCONNECT!!! mannnnnnnnnnnn geez, what the heck kind of society this has turned into where kids, though they're walking on the street, in class, sitting in the subway, eating dinner, etc... all they have is their fingers on the cellphone CHATTING!!!! i mean... it's worse than SMS cause u have to go into the mailbox and all that for that. But this one is a whole CHAT program u know what i mean??? it's REALLY instant msging.... My gosh, why the hell would kids want to be instant messaging as much as they want TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY!!! i mean goshhhhhhhhhhhhh............ you're OUTSIDE. it's called OUTSIDE for a reason, function and purpose! and it's sure as hell not so that you can have your eyes glued to a cellphone screen and your fingers to the keypad for goodness sake! geez.
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12:07 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
can't say that, can i?

"anyway daijobu? u didnt sound too good the other day. hope u are ok. sorry i called. thought i maybe felt like seeing u that's all"

why is the simplest things we tend to ignore when it's these simplest things that mean so much more?

For well you know that it�s a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.

yes elaine, but unfortunately, life don't play by lyrics of songs, no matter how inspiring they may be....
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Monday, August 23, 2004
10:27 PM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
Congratulations, Elaine!Your IQ score is 129

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills [it's called knowing some idiomatic phrases] You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems [it's called the add math i took in school] Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

assinine if only it was that easy shit also my keyboard just died. so go figure. fuck.
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Sunday, August 22, 2004
3:24 PM | Posted by | | | Edit Post

I think this anime guy look so cool. Kira Yamato. One of those cute and quiet and determined ones... ahhh... everytime i see the dude makes me wanna watch Gundam Seed..... Then again... should i??? I mean... it's GUNDAM u know!!!!
Was reading up on the summaries and characters just now... Has stuff i look for usually. Guy pitched against best friend against his will, hoards of girls falling for him, etc. cool wut.
Maybe it's cause of those one shot mangas I always read... Their lead male character always look like this.... In fact, u know, one of the guys (in the comp lab) that i told him that i think he looks cute, he looks something like this... only thing that the guy in the comp lab is erm, REAL. not anime =P
Anyways, i was really depressed the other day, about erm, Paul. Then there was the thought of school starting soon, and having to leave Malaysia. And i was really tired... So that made me really depressed.
Went to hang out with Ching Mun and Aida... MANNNNNNNNNNN CHING MUN WAS IN SKIRT and all that looking soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo damn working adult!! shite... make me feel like such a kid!!! I MEAN! GOSHHHHHH!!!
But anyways, Aida was talking about her dead Tamagutchi and cause i was depressed, well.... I GOT ME ONE TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least this time it was just a tamagutchi... The last time i was DAMN depressed, I got me two hamsters!!!!!!! So well... there u go... Tamagutchi this time...
Actually i wanted to buy another one... Cause the tamagutchi can connect with other tamagutchi through infrared. But erm... NO MONEY to buy it!!! But i'm thinking i might do it... buy from ebay cause it seems cheaper there... HAHAHAHA... hope it's not a fake though!!!
Anyway, my Tamagutchi's name is Baka, currently he is 4 years old... Thank goodness my Tamagutchi is like me.... IT SLEEPS ALOT!!!!!!!!!

There.... my tamagutchi doing what it does the most.... SLEEP!!! BAKA!

Anyways... go visit Robbie's blog if u have time. He just got to AZ to study. hmmm wonder how's he doing being all alone.
WELL SCHOOL'S STARTING. INUYASHA'S ENDING.
ahhhhhhhhhhhh lately, i really feel without any hope for the future. Like i really have nothing to look forward to. WAs sitting in the plane and realized that well, you know, nothing changes, everything's the same. Life is like one long meaningless journey. It's like running on a threadmill going nowhere and no mater how hard you try to run or outrun yourself, or you try to live something different, to achieve something more, something new.... in the end of the day, you get nowhere... And whether it be Jan 11 2003, December 15th 2003, Jan 23 2004 or Aug 21 2004, it's ALL STILL THE SAME. I've gone nowhere... sure i am in california, but u know what? essentially, nothing in my life has changed... I am and my life is still very well, PATHETIC.
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
3:32 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
damn. unfortunately. it seems. i'm still hung up about nate. damn. i miss finch. sigh. jeremy saw them today in canada and when he talked about meeting nate and randy and derek *sigh* suddenly i remembered how much i love them
damn. alone at last, together in a photograph.... damn i wonder when i'll ever get to say that about nate. it's so shitty that the rest of the bands i truly love before i came to US, i already got to meet and i got pics with them... But finch, the one band that meant so much to me the reason why i chose California... I DON'T HAVE SHIT WITH THEM. crap.
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12:52 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
I realized u need good shoes because with bad shoes it makes your feet hurts and cause all sorts of negative stuff like:
1) being lazy to drive.
2) being lazy to go out.
3) being lazy to move.
all cause your feet hurts.... hmm...

Sayonara, Sesshomaru, Rin- i really love you!!!!!

Anyways... Inuyasha is ending, i'm fucking depressed more than depressed can be watched the last Sesshomaru/Rin episode, fuck me, i am damn depressed now though i got the ending that i want but fuck me, fucking sad i'll never see them again and fuck that sesshomaru didn't show at least A LITTLE MORE affection for Rin like shit, hold her hand, or erm.... whatever... all he did that was remotely "affectionate" was for the first time ever when Rin asks him a question he actually says "what is it?" what the hell................... I mean serious shit... he goes to save her but there's this one fucking part i am so fucking hung up about because it had seemed to me at first, and even to Weng Kok, that Sesshomaru actually intended to leave Rin with the humans after much contemplation... If he hadn't been spotted by the monk and stopped in his track, Sesshomaru would have left!!!!!!!! I mean WHAT THE FUCK?! But after watching it a dozen other times, it did seem that he WAS gonna go save her, BUT THAT WAS AFTER A DOZEN OTHER TIME!!!! I mean by then it's more of my desperation to believe that my head's gonna believe whatever my heart wants it to!!!!!! heck!!! So what the fuck was it??????


DAMNNNNNNN... She's just so damn cute!! she was soooooooooo worried about Sesshomaru!!!

LOOK!!!!!!!! I didn't get this shot in the anime... cause here doesn't it just seem like he decide to just leave Rin???????? WTF!!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD HE EVEN THINK OF THAT?!! DOESN'T SHE EVEN MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM??????? I want to believe that the 3 shots that did of him like this showed that he actually thought and contemplated over it.... and that shows that part of him really didn't want to let her go right? for the fact that a demon like Sesshomaru actually HAD and attachment and was hard for him to just let go WITHOUT hessitation.... RIGHT??????? PLEASE SAY YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

But anyways, about Inuyasha ending, more of this will come later when i want to fucking bitch about it because believe me, i am gonna.

here's a bonus pic... heh.... Hyde.. cause he's so damn cute ^^

LOOKIEEEEEE!!!!! AIN'T HE JUST SOOOOOOO DAMN PERFECT??????????? SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! HE IS SOOOOOOOOO DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!! CRAP, i MUST SO HAVE TO NO CHOICE BUT TO SOOOOOOO ADMIT THAT HE IS JUST ABSOLUTELY CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! THE ONLY PERSON WHOSE PIC I CAN STARE AT FOREVER!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
3:48 PM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY prediction MIGHT ACTUALLY COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! Sesshomaru actually "conveniently" saves Kagura from her death with the excuse of fighting with Naraku while Inuyasha&Co. fights Mayoumaru a.k.a Naraku's heart!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! heheheehhe
AND IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL that SESSHOMARU actually heh, "saves" kagura.... WUAHAHAHAHHA. YES!! ANOTHER COOL "COUPLE"! hehehehe
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Saturday, August 07, 2004
11:47 AM | Posted by | | | Edit Post
1
[Kagura stands up to leave.]
Kagura
I took up your time.
I'm off now.
Rin
Ehh!?
2
[Closeup of Rin.]
Rin
You've leaving?
Didn't you come because you wanted to be saved by Sesshoumaru-sama?
3
[Closeup side view of Kagura, perhaps looking a bit surprised.]
4
[Side view of Kagura.]
Kagura
It's not like that.
It's just...
5
[View of Sesshoumaru from Kagura's point of view.]
Kagura
before I died, I just thought that...
[I wanted to see him] once last time.

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THIS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heheheheheheheh that is soooooooooooo damn sweet!!!!!!!!!!! Kagura and Sesshomaru huh?????? damn destructive couple if they got together but still!! real sweet!!!!!! hehehehehehehe.... OOOO good also lahhh!!! cause Kohaku is under Kagura and Sesshomaru takes care of Rin. Rin and Kohaku are friends! heheeh... so Kagura and Sesshomaru could hook up!!! heehhehe
Tis be nice if Sesshomaru did, erm, say mis-swing his Toukajin and erm... so happen to end up saving Kagura's life..... wuahahahahhaha
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Tuesday, August 03, 2004
7:03 PM | Posted by | | | Edit Post


I was walking my dog just now and i realized somewhere between the my mom's computer and my dog's poo that my dog's eagerness to go "walk" everyday is like my constant addiction to the internet to check my mail to email, chat, etc. Her pooing and peeing and all that is like her checking her mails and sending her replies. yeah. and her excitement to go "walk-walk" each day is like my own addiction to never being able to

LOG OFF THE DAMN INTERNET.




WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE LIKE WINNIE THE POOH????? CAUSE SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED AN EPISODE OF POOH???? Winnie the Pooh is like the most depressing and SELF-LOATHING cartoon i've EVER watched. Screw the Grim Brothers, cause shit man, Pooh is the most self loathing shit EVER!!!! Eeore is the damn donkey does nothing but wallow in self pity, piglet is chicken shit and can't even stand up for himself, that rabbit is a conniving insecure bastard and Pooh himself is an over indulging air head! what the hell!!! I'll NEVER let my kids watch Pooh!


Lastly......




I've discovered the true meaning of Home. Somewhere between the runways of LA, Taipei and KLIA, I realized that real Home is where you know in your heart of hearts as a place that you can never leave behind forever because of all the things, people, places that you know you can't live without....


and by that definition, it sure as hell means that Malaysia is still truly, well... Home.
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